Asperger's Syndrome and Shutdowns

Post Reply New Topic

My newest video and the first I've made in 2 months!

Starts dark, gets bright.. had fun with black and white.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSj0b35DUHY[/youtube]

Thank you, Laura! I'm going to YouTube now to "favorite" this!

very nice video-Good advice-I've been in that place where I would just hit myself in the face from frustration at being so paralyzed-When you're there it's hard to imagine feeling better- That's why I try to be so careful about not taking on more stress than I can handle.

Thanks for imparting on us some of your more inspiration.
Nice vid =P
Welcome back =)

very nice... Thanks for showing us.

Same here.

I don't flip out that much very often, but I've done scary s**t when I do.

I once raked my face with my nails because I was trying to play a piece of music to some people, messed it up, and suddenly felt very aware that they were all looking at me.

As a preteen kid I started yanking my hair out because a group of kids were taunting me and I just wanted to feel detached from their hate and their jeering, so, I vented my feelings by hurting myself.

I rarely do that these days though.

Thanks everybody! A friend of mine said this was the saddest video of mine she'd ever seen. Still, I had to dig down deep to bring a positive message out.

This is a really really good video, and expresses what it's like for autistics very well. You've inspired me to make slideshows of my own.

As much as I would prefer the imagery to be less emo, the information was basically correct.
My mom always triggers my shutdowns. Always. There was one incident recently where she MADE FUN OF ME for putting my head down and covering my ears when she was verbally attacking me and anxiety-dumping, and when we got inside my psychiatrist's office and she did a 180 switch with her behavior in front of the receptionists, I was so upset I freaked out and ran into the bathroom and begged her not to follow me, and I started sobbing and screaming and rocking and banging my head against the wall. I wanted to hit her but I couldn't so I hit myself in the arms and head, which I have not done for several years. I always end up feeling like this s**t is my fault even though I cognitively know it isn't. Fortunately this nice woman who worked there came in and sat with me while I tried to calm down and she even brought me a 7UP. My psychiatrist intervened and me mom and I didn't talk for the entire weekend by his orders. She apologized but she still makes s**t out to be my fault when it isn't, usually because of some encounter with my dad or his family that sends her anxiety over the edge, and when she starts venting and I don't want to hear it, she starts accusing me of being just like my father. My semester in London will be a good break for both of us.

Thanks sunflower and Chiz!

Chiz, I'm sorry you're mother seems so insensitive to you, but she does. I think SHE needs psychiatric help.

I have major problems with shut downs. My shut downs are caused by other people's expectations on me and the way other people treat me. They are also caused by stress, illness and/or an emotionally upsetting event, which can be anywhere from being hurt and teased by my housemates to something that is very emotionally damaging that changes my life.
Even though I am still independent enough to take care of myself and go to school and/or work, I regress in my social skills, toileting skills(bed wetting and/or daytime accidents), feel and need to be a little girl, and my thinking and emotional state is messed up. During a severe shut down, I may seem mentally ret*d, which would affect my being able to work and/or do school, which happened 10 years ago. But now, i know how to prevent that, which is stay away from people who are going to put expectations on you at home. It is one thing that a boss does it, but only related to the job. But when a parent and/or an autism day/residential agency person does it, which affects every aspect of my life,it is very damaging. I take care of myself without them, but the expectations they put on me are related to their selfish needs, which they want me to give into their needs, not just mine. They want control over me and do n ot allow me to choose my life path.

I know exactly what you're talking about. I have actually lost the ability to count change during a shutdown.

wow. amazing. powerful. inspiring.
great video laura!

p.s the wrongful use of the word emo makes me shutdown.

My use of the word emo is determined by the most commonly used meaning in society at large - black and white imagery, roses, depression, melancholy music, et cetera. My concern is that it could alienate people who associate that imagery with typical emo kids who are whiny, attention-seeking and cloying, and how it could detract from the real and very valid message that Laura presented. Laura used her own artistic license and it is simply different than what I would have chosen, and I did not mean anything more than that. I could certainly go and make my own video, and perhaps I will.

Your individual definition of emo could mean a number of different things, tellingly, none of which you have offered as an alternate definition to clarify the meaning for us. Also I take it you consider yourself emo and go to great lengths to feel persecuted and misunderstood for it, which I personally find distasteful.

Nice assumption of me. It's funny how users on this forum try to attack a person for simply correcting them. No, I'm not emo, neither is any person. It's a music genre. Need a thousand word essay on the history of emo? I could probably write one.

thanks frtat that was enlightening brings back mmories of my shutdown and everything you said is so true thanks, I love the ascention into colour