Just feeling a bit low... (rant-ish)

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Soma
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19 Jan 2006, 12:46 am

I don't know if anyone will come read this, but I need a bit of support. At the moment, I'm just having one of those low days. Perhaps it isn't serious enough to be here in the Haven, but I'm just quite sad. Before Christmas, I was dumped by a boy I was starting my first romantic relationship with, by email. Yes, by email. Not even by phone. I was told I was "very special." Warped complement. I was feeling good-ish over Christmas and New Year, but in the 2nd week of Jan, the breakup hit, and I was wondering, quite seriously if I was unlovable, unable to be loved, and that I'd never be in a relationship. Some of these feelings still remain with me. As a way to keep my mind off it, I went on the "Blind Date" topic, but that sorta wasn't enough. I'm over it a bit, but at the moment, (I'm Australian-it's summer) its cold, 15'c (Its meant to be in the late 20's) and rainy. I've sorta had a lot on my plate, ghosts of a few things haunting me, (the teacher drama for one) and i've begun to hit breaking point. I went with my brothers to see Chronicles of Narnia today, and I went back on the meds, (body is feeling horrendous) to function. Movie = Overstimulation. We then went into the shopping center connected with, to have lunch. Every superficial, plastic, celery-eating, "OMG, how are you darling? Mwah, mwah, missed you so much!" fashionista from school (incidently, I'm on summer holidays!) was there, and I'm there, in a hoodie and last seasons jeans (cause they're comfortable! Shopping centers are not Milan thankyou!) and being smirked and giggled by stick-figures in skimpy tanktops, short-shorts with butt-cheeks hanging out, massive sunnies and havianas, the entire ensemble probably costing $300 ($150ish American) I can usually put up with it, but I'm feeling pretty (expletive) at the moment.


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alex
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19 Jan 2006, 12:57 am

You aren't unloveable. A lot of people here at wrongplanet care for you. :D


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MsTriste
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19 Jan 2006, 1:01 am

...and that is why I avoid the mall like the plague.

I'm impressed that at your age you can know all of those things that bother you. I'm still learning how to do that.



wandrew
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19 Jan 2006, 2:19 am

I agree with Aylissa. I avoid malls like the plague. Like my man Bill Hicks said, the reason teen idols were invented (Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, Britney) was as part of a CIA plot to make people think malls are good.
Temperature-controlled, artifically air-controlled and filled with plastic people buying plastic toys with plastic money--ugh!
I never even got a date in high school. I didn't start dating until college.
Just remember, while you're keeping yourself company, all those Barbie dolls are desperately running around looking for someone to be with them and admire their plastic good looks because they can't stand to be alone.
Alex is right. You've got a lot of friends here, and I'd be proud if you'd consider me one of them.



pyraxis
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19 Jan 2006, 9:48 am

I agree with all of the above, and let me chip in: it doesn't have to be super-life-threatening-serious to talk about here, so don't feel bad about posting. First breakups suck... wish I could say more, but it's kind of outside my realm of experience. But I'm quite convinced you're not unloveable.



CockneyRebel
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19 Jan 2006, 10:07 pm

I never go into Malls for the exact reason that you've all explained. The thought of Sheep in a Mall turnes me off.

I also agree that there is no problem too small or to big for The Haven.



fahreeq
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19 Jan 2006, 10:18 pm

I hate malls, too. It's not just an aspie thing. I've come across some NTs who avoid the mall because of all the teenyboppers that hang out there.



Astarael
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20 Jan 2006, 5:05 am

Malls are terrible for people eyeing you off weirdly. I often feel so self conscious that if a group of people are laughing at a joke I assume they're laughing at me :roll:
:( I'm sorry that things aren't going great right now, hopefully they start looking better soon. <insert lots of comforting things here> (I don't know what exactly you are comforted by).



RobertN
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20 Jan 2006, 7:21 am

I've always felt self-conscious in shopping centres in my teens, but I think as soon as you hit your twenties all that silly bullying and teasing stops because you are an "adult" and no longer part of the teenage "fashion-mad" era.