Overly Affectionate?

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I read somewhere that people with AS often express "inappropriate" amounts of affection. Usually this means not liking to be touched, hugged, etc. but apparently it can also mean overly affectionate as well.

When I was little, I was definitely overly affectionate. I would kiss all of my relatives when I saw them or when I went to bed, whether they wanted me to or not. I remember there was a point in my life (around age 4) where I thought you just kissed everyone: friends, aquaintances, etc. (Note that I live in the U.S. so there is no cultural convention for doing so.) Even as an adult, I would say that I am more outwardly affectionate that most men.

Anyone else here like this?

Well my mother told me I did that stuff too sometimes, probably at the same age. I try not to think about it though since it makes me feel awkward.

I'm not like that, but my oldest daughter (7) is. She hugs any grown-up she even half-likes, and tells them she loves them. Apparently, it sticks out enough for normal folks to notice, as she now has a reputation for it, among her teachers and such, at school.

Her "lovey-ness" is hilarious, because from birth 'til about age 2 1/2, She HATED everybody she met, and would scream/snarl/fight if anyone so much as looked like they might want to touch her.


I also once had an AS friend (still do, heh; he just moved away) who was super-affectionate like that, with people he liked very much. He was very touchy-feely with me, and while I didn't mind it, it was very strange, because we were nowhere near close enough for that much physical enthusiasm, lol. He once lovingly attacked me in a Walmart, running over and pressing his face against my belly, when I was pregnant, to "talk" to my unborn son.

I really liked the guy, but I'm the classic hands-off AS, so we made a funny pair - him forever grabbing on me, while I stood stiff and awkward, just sort of enduring it.

A friend mine an aspie is like that

i have never been affectionate.

When I have a chance to I tend to be a bit enthusiatic with showing affection to and I experience neurotypicals saying to me this is inappropriate that is inappropriate etc or that I could have been done for assault or even attempted murder just because I do not look like a person with Down syndrome etc. In the end I just avoided certain people who were like this. I was very affectionate through my childhood and into my 20's which by then was frowned by neurotypicals. I was told that society does not tolerate this or that and I became extremely distressed. WHen I was with a woman I did show a lot of affection to her which some people would have thought of as inappropriate. any perosn who saw it that way were not worth knowing I thought at the time.

when I was little I was like that not to the same degree though. Now it's the complete opposite

I've never been all that affectionate, but my son is. It doesn't matter if he's sitting at his desk in the middle of class if an adult walks by the classroom, and he sees her he will jump up, run to the hall to give a hug. Hugging people has become almost an obsession with him. If he doesn't get to hug people that he normally does he has a meltdown. It's gotten to a point to where I think I need to write a social story about appropriate hugging, because his male peers aren't appreciating all of his hugging, and he's getting into trouble for disrupting class for impromptu hugs.

i do not like physical contact.

I do not like people hugging me unless I know them well and it is a vice-like grip! the kind of hug that is firm, solid and with deep pressure - which so many of us crave because of sensory variations. (i need a Temple squeeze machine.)

Off medication NO-ONE can touch me at all - except for my son. and i flinch. I also scream as it overloads me.it is really bad.

I can give hugs.

I am a member of 12 step programs. I learned to hug people there. But I would do it indiscriminately - loathing every minute of it - because i had learned a new "scripted behaviour" without actually fully comprehending the subtler aspects of where and when to USE hugs and with whom. I just adopted a new behaviour without understanding how to apply it. Then I would go up to people in the art scene and meet them for the first time and hug them because that is what i thought people did. All this in my 40's.
That seems to be my issue with a lot of things i learn in relation to people and people skills. Just that little bit out of sync and out of kilter. I can do the act when on meds, but it is a bit "off the norm radar."

lol. I have a friend who seems like he has a lot of AS symptoms who does that... He's definitely way more socially impaired than me in the aspect of saying/doing inappropriate things, anyway(though he has WAY more friends, and it seems like he knows everyone somehow.. which is the only reason i never really brought up aspergers to him.. because whatever he's doing is somehow working alright.. at a glance, it seems like he's more unaware of what to do socially than i am at times, but, even so, the end result is still that whole social thing just seems to end up working out for him much easier). I'm more the if-i-don't-know-what-i'm-supposed-to-do-then-i-don't-do-much-at-all type... plus i get uncomfortable in a lot of situations(like with people getting close to me or talking about certain things), and, therefore, avoid causing them or bringing up topics that i'm uncomfortable talking about with certain people.. So, that prevents me from doing a lot of socially "wrong" things. Plus, i usually try pretty hard to not offend people, at least with most things that i've learned people get offended by. My friend, however, doesn't seem to get uncomfortable with a lot of things or have a clue about what offends other people. He'll come up and hug me or something, and i'll just be the typical aspie-like robot and just stand there stiff and wait for him to let go. He also came over to me the other day, poked my stomach, and asked if i'd gained weight lately, XD.

There does seem to be a different "spectrum" of symptoms for different people with AS, from what i'm been seeing so far.... The same inability to interpret social cues can go either drastically one way or drastically the other with either being seen unintentionally as obnoxious, or being seen as shy. With one, you don't know what to say, so you say something inappropriate... with the other, you don't know what to say, so you don't say a whole lot. and then, sometimes i guess it goes one way or the other with the situation. It's funny how that works.

I love to give Sid hugs to everyone. I also love to be hugged, stroked and touched. :O)