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Tails
Deinonychus
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20 Jan 2006, 3:03 pm

Taking things literally seems to be one of the major defaining 'traits' of Asperger's. But is that to say that all Aspies have trouble with metaphors, or are unable to understand innuendo or wordplay jokes? Personally, I don't think this is the case.

For me, I have never had any trouble with understanding turns of phrase, metaphor, etc. I love puns and wordplay. The trouble I have is with understanding tone and motive. For example, I don't know if I'm being teased or if the person is serious. Eg, at work, sometimes I would sneakily check my email, and my coworker would threaten to call up the manager and tell him. I could never tell if he was serious or not, and every time I'd freak out and he'd laugh and tell me he was only joking. It took me a long time to learn that it was teasing. I tend to get VERY upset very easily at being teased, because I just don't know that I am only being teased. This leads people to say I have no sense of humour, which is untrue, I feel, but I can see why it would seem that way.

However, I don't have any trouble with turns of phrase such as "pull your socks up". I have never taken things literally. But I do prefer online to talking in person, since I'm not brilliant at interpretting tone.

Other thoughts?


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MsTriste
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20 Jan 2006, 4:11 pm

I think you've made a very good point. It is much easier for me as well to interpret the written word as opposed to the spoken word. It is also very hard for me to handle/understand teasing, and also people's tone or intent tend to be mistranslated sometimes.

I also find the opposite - people tend to interpret me as in a bad mood or like I'm better than they are (I've been told that last one all my life) which is never how I feel. They misinterpret me constantly, which is frustrating. Thank god for email .



DrizzleMan
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20 Jan 2006, 4:23 pm

It may be due to trouble reading body language.



Tails
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20 Jan 2006, 4:35 pm

aylissa wrote:
I also find the opposite - people tend to interpret me as in a bad mood or like I'm better than they are (I've been told that last one all my life) which is never how I feel. They misinterpret me constantly, which is frustrating. Thank god for email .


I get this too... people tend to assume I'm arrogant or in a snippy mood when I'm not at all. I guess I'm not very good at being casual. Again, it's all down to bodylanguage, I suppose. I'm very businesslike mostly, even when my intention is to be friendly.


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MsTriste
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20 Jan 2006, 4:39 pm

This forum never ceases to amaze me - no matter what weirdnesses I've experienced, there's at least one other person with the same experience!

I HATE that people think I"m arrogant - and it's been ever since I can remember. High School was a constant time of people saying "You look like you think you're too good for us" What??? Which couldn't be further from the truth - I just wanted to fit in.



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20 Jan 2006, 4:46 pm

I think that Highschool was the worst for me, too. I suppose it's because of the clique-ishness of that age group. If you don't try to be exactly the same as them (or, in this case, CAN'T be exactly the same as them, even if we try), then they automatically assume you're being snobbish by not conforming.

I always hated that so much too... I never craved huge groups of friends, but I did want to be liked. I hated being thought of as 'snooty' or 'posh' or 'arrogant', because I wasn't trying to be that way at all. I never really understood why they thought those things of me... but looking back, I can sort of see it now. Although I still have this problem of coming across as too formal and a bit of a know-it-all. When I state things, I suppose it must come across as arrogant, even though I don't mean it that way at all. *sigh* Oh well... I'm slowly learning!


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20 Jan 2006, 5:10 pm

Tails wrote:
I think that Highschool was the worst for me, too. I suppose it's because of the clique-ishness of that age group. If you don't try to be exactly the same as them (or, in this case, CAN'T be exactly the same as them, even if we try), then they automatically assume you're being snobbish by not conforming.


I felt the same way about high school--in fact, the only time I never really felt that was the blessed year in a private school with four other students in my class. It's still the same at college, but people are beginning to realize that actually knowing a lot about something is better than wearing the best clothes, and they appreciate mental acquity a lot more than social acquity...at least in the classroom. Outside of class they're still kind of clique-ish, but it doesn't escalate into the problems found at high school. And I've been called arrogant by practically everyone I meet, just because I'm not as open. People...:)

P.S. Sonic is one of my favorite video , except I still just play the old Genesis version. For some reason I just don't like it as much in 3D. Weird, huh?


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20 Jan 2006, 5:18 pm

Tails wrote:
Taking things literally seems to be one of the major defaining 'traits' of Asperger's.... Personally, I don't think this is the case.
Other thoughts?


One of the things that made me hesitant about going for an Asperger's diagnosis was my word skill and enjoyment, as you say, of puns, double meanings, interesting etymologies, word drifts...

I've not met very many aspies in RL, but I have seen those who had more marked linguistic difficulties. On the other hand, I seem to be even more socially isolated than many on this board, who at least have relationships to have problems with.

It's a cliché to say autism is a spectrum disorder, but there appear to be numerous elements to it with different expressions in different individuals: language, eye contact, visual stress, physical coordination, social awareness...

Do each of us pick a set of cards, and enough jokers adds up to AS?
It would fit the frequently seen model of relatives with "a few AS characteristics": they've been picking cards out of a similar deck.



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20 Jan 2006, 5:45 pm

What about when you were younger? My 9-y-o now understands most sarcasm, jokes, puns but he used to be very, very literal. Double meanings are still hard for him, but he may be learning? Or, growing out of it?



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20 Jan 2006, 6:40 pm

Emettman wrote:
Do each of us pick a set of cards, and enough jokers adds up to AS?


That is exactly what it is like.

Depending on the hand you draw, you get AS/HFA/NVLD/OCD/Autism/... most of the other neurological disorders.

Many of the brain mechanisms for regulating things, including the list of yours above that sentence, are highly connected. Depending on how you are wired with those systems, you get different results.

It's not even a spectrum, or a continuum, but a multivariate dimensional field. Call it Autism Space, or A-space, or B(rain)-space, or whatever, it's all connected.



aprillove
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20 Jan 2006, 7:15 pm

i take things very literally and have trouble with double meanings, etc. if it's something i'm used to, then i understand it (ie we see eye to eye or something like that), but otherwise it's over my head.

i can't tell when people are joking, serious, sarcastic, etc. i prefer writen communication i think because it eliminates a lot of this. in real life, it has to be "jim carey" type overacting for me to understand.

even in the written language, i so many times do not understand if someone is serious or telling a joke or sarcastic. i normally have to be told or i don't know for sure. even here on the forum there's been a lot of posts i don't know for sure how take (serious, joking, etc). unless there's something there to indicate it, most of the time i don't know (sometimes i figure it out by what others post after that).

i also have a hard time figuring out what letters stand for. i think i may have figured out what WTF stands for. there's so many things like that that i scratch my head and just don't see.

april


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20 Jan 2006, 7:27 pm

aprillove wrote:
i also have a hard time figuring out what letters stand for. i think i may have figured out what WTF stands for. there's so many things like that that i scratch my head and just don't see.


Me, too. I have to have the words all spelled out, or I need a dictionary to translate. There was a magazine article talking about text messaging and how kids in school really can't spell now because everything is shortened. I had to take it to a younger sister to have her translate the shorthand for me. Why words can't be spelled out is something I just don't get.


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nirrti_rachelle
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20 Jan 2006, 7:45 pm

For me, it's not that I don't understand double-meanings, sarcasm or metaphor. It's just that I have problems with taking things out of context since what is said can have multiple meanings and it's not as obvious to me which one is correct.

One time, I was at a basketball tournament with my family. University of Memphis was playing Marquette University for the conference championship. My step-father asked, "Where is Marquette?" I pointed to the basketball team and said, "Down there." He looked at me like I'd lost my mind saying he was asking about Marquette, the town's
location. :oops:


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aprillove
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20 Jan 2006, 7:55 pm

the thing with the basket ball team/town--that is soooooo me!! !! i do stuff like that all the time!! !! !
april


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20 Jan 2006, 8:21 pm

I almost never take things literally when they're not supposed to be.

The only time I do it is when someone uses sarcasm, I let it fly over my head on purpose to piss them off (sarcasm is the lowest form of wit) or just to see what peoples reactions are.



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20 Jan 2006, 8:30 pm

I have always when it comes to a very serious conversation taken it very literally or have thought it was supposed to be a serious conversation. When I do take it very seriously and it was not meant to be that (other person conversing with them) I find it to Me to be a lie. Sometimes I just don't understand it oh well then.


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