Is there anything that makes you think maybe its not Asperg

Post Reply New Topic

I guess this post is aimed more to those who are undiagnosed, self diagnosed, or awaiting diagnosis. Are there any things about yourselves that would make you question an Aspergers diagnosis? For me, I find it very easy to read people. (Perhaps I just "think" I'm reading them correctly.) I can usually tell if I'm overstepping boundaries, or if I'm making someone feel awkward. I can usually read innuendos, and implied meanings. I'm a very analytical person, and when I'm in the company of others I tend to do much more people studying than interacting. Then again, being a hyper-analytical people watcher, while everyone else is expecting my company, shows that no matter how much I study them, I still can't interact effectively. I'm often distracted.

Is there anything about yourself that makes you think (even if temporarily) "Maybe this isn't Asperger's!"

Yes, I can read body language well enough to know I've made some sort of social gaffe but don't have enough social intuition not to make the gaffe in the first place.

Sadly, the nature of AS is that you can have any or all of the symptoms to varying degrees and still have AS.

The more "normal" you seem, the harder it is to diagnose, but it also makes you question if really have AS.

When I learned about AS, I saw my life mirrored in it, but at the same time, I've managed to grow into an adult who is capable of taking care of himself without assistance from others.

Yes, my ability to get a job is hindered.

Promotions? What are those?

Good job? Not one yet.

However, I've always managed to go out, work and pay the bills.

Friends? Very few...maybe only 1-2. Most people I know and think I get along with, I struggle to stay involved with because I really think they couldn't care less if I never come to group activities.

Is there something that's not AS that would produce the same kind of childhood/adolescence/young adult life as I went through (that looks a lot like AS)? I hope not.

that's interesting. what makes you think you have it?

^ This is absolutely a description of me.

I have a provisional diagnosis of asperger's. at times I doubt the dx although it was my idea to assess for it. the reason I doubt it is that my childhood was so messed up there was no way I wasn't going to have problems. then I think about my problems through the filter of AS and they make more sense.

so basically I'm a dog chasing it's tail until I see the neuropsychologist.

Yes, my childhood. If anyone thought I was unusual or that there was cause for concern, no one ever told me that.

I have very few memories of interacting with other kids (or adults), but I also don't remember anyone being concerned about that. As far as I know, there were no adults standing around going, "Oh gee, is she socializing appropriately??" We just got on with life, and socializing wasn't a part of it. At least not that I was aware of. If there was something odd or defective about my ability to socialize, no one seemed to care. I was considered "shy" or "grumpy", though.

I don't recall having difficulties communicating with people, but I really can't think of any examples of trying to communicate. In the cases when I had a friend, we seemed to enjoy each other's company alright. We didn't have deep conversations, I suppose, but we were just kids. I was quiet in the classroom, and didn't spend a lot of time talking to other kids, but I wasn't aware of any pressure to do so. I really don't remember seeing other kids socializing with each other at all, to tell the truth. Except on the playground, which other kids seemed to have been born knowing how to do. I had no desire to play with anyone at recess. That was my time.

Then again, I'm pretty sure my mother is AS, or at least close to it.

I also don't recall being obsessed with a particular topic, or talking anyone's ear off about any certain thing.

However, when I look at the rest of my life, from adolescence onwards, there are countless things that shout "Asperger's!"

Maybe I was a very AS kid, and so completely self-absorbed that I didn't think to compare myself to others. Or maybe I was just like the other kids, and therefore there was no need for comparison. (I have no memory of wondering how I compared to others, at least not until adolescence. To do so would not have occurred to me.)

Wow, I'm pretty sure that if you didn't post this I would've posted the exact same thing.

Great question. Should be some insightful responses to this thread.
A bit of background about myself. I am self-diagnosed, waiting until I can see a psych to get a formal diagnosis. About 8 years ago, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia. I do agree with those diagnoses, but I always had the feeling that there was something else entirely going on.

I've known about AS for a solid 7 months now. In that time, I've gone from the first hints, to real discovery, to being utterly convinced. I know I have it. The evidence is overwhelming. But I've gone through periods of doubt about just what exactly AS does and does not do to me. For instance, is my constant anxiety the result of a lifetime of AS-induced awkwardness and social failures? Or does AS have nothing to do with my anxiety? How is it that I can read people's body language some times but not others? Are my difficulties at work the result of AS, or some kind of character flaw? The questions persist.

These are the sorts of things that I hope to sift out in the process of getting diagnosed and coming to some genuine understanding of who I am and how I work. A year ago, I knew I had issues, but I ended up blaming a large portion of my people-problems on the other people. "You're crazy! There's nothing wrong with ME!!"... You know what I mean. I couldn't see how I was affecting others, because the way I was speaking and acting felt perfectly natural to me. I assumed they were just being overly critical, or were just nuts. Once I learned about AS, I remember breaking down a number of times, crying and banging my head over all the pain that I know I've caused to others throughout my life.

Where I am is a tough place to be. Even though all of my endeavors have been riddled with failures, I've been capable enough to get through college, stay at least marginally employed, and even become a father. I can see what the NT world looks like, and sometimes I think that I am there... until some sensory or social train-wreck comes along and reminds me. Were I more severely afflicted with Autism, then it'd be easy to understand. Everyone would just know how I was, and know more or less how to treat me. Having Asperger's means that I am still out in the NT world, and expected to play by its rules... but I have lost the rule-book, and I have no idea what to do most of the time. And then other people just assume that my inconsistencies must indicate that I am stupid, a sociopath, or simply a weirdo to be avoided.

So to sum, everything I know says that I do in fact have AS. But I am always wondering how it manifests, and the extent to which it affects my existence.

I know what body language is but I never noticed it. Anyone else do that? I also don't tend to use it. I just stare off to the side and talk really fast.

I could have anything really; dyspraxia, ADHD-I, social anxiety, OCD, etc.
I'm not one of those self dx'd people anymore though, but when I was I did sometimes question if I had AS.

Part of me thinks that it was just my environment, it's definitely influenced me in some way. The way I grew up was very confusing and might have made it difficult for me to understand relationships and how they work. My parents acknowledge that I've kind of always been unusual in a way, but I can't help but think that if I really had AS, a doctor (whether it be my pediatrician or one of our doctor relatives) would have recognized it and pointed it out. Is it just that I was able to adapt well enough? It's both an interesting and frustrating thing to try and figure out. I guess the whole reason I go on these forums is because I can relate to alot of of the things that people talk about, even if I don't have a diagnosis.

It's easy to believe that I don't have AS because my symptoms are so mild. I'm able to live independently, be married, have a stable job, a bunch of friends, etc, without a whole lot of difficulty. Also, I don't really seem to have any of the physically stereotypical symptoms. For instance, my eye contact is fine, my voice is not flat, I don't get depressed, I never had physical stims that were noticeable...

It's possible that I don't have AS and I'm merely one of those "gifted" people. Personally, though, I believe that "gifted" and AS are two labels for the same thing, namely an autistic mind. It's more of a matter of degree and perspective than physical difference. I am probably somewhere between the cracks of formal AS and NT, and so yet again my life cannot be classified.

I also believe that I probably wouldn't meet the DSM-IV criteria for AS were I to be assessed today, but I might very well have in the past. Does that mean that, were I to have had it, I still would have it?

Interesting. My childhood is one of the reasons I think I may have had AS. When I was in elementary school, my mother was fairly concerned about my inability to make friends, and some of my grade school teachers labeled me as "very unusual." Apart from that, though, I just thought that other kids were more-or-less like me. Now I look back on the situation and realize that it really wasn't the case, and I was nothing like my peers. In fact, I didn't really consider any of them peers at all. The concept of peer pressure was purely academic.

I also had some sensory issues before adolescence, then they went away. I didn't really get any more normal in high school, though I guess I found a way to work around my social awkwardness and have friends before I graduated.

I'm very functional today, but there's no doubt that I am very quirky. So... well, who knows? And really, does it matter?

Autistic individuals who were raised by undiagnosed autistic parents who had undiagnosed parents and siblings who themselves had undiagnosed autistic parents because they are passing along the high functioning intelligence to complement the traits and have a better intuitive understanding of the kinds of special care their autistic children need relative to non-autistic children without anybody ever coming up with the words autistic and spectrum. Autistic traits did not suddenly appear in 1920, they had just never been noticed as something to specifically point out as different in a different way. People either understood without understanding and helped them to a point where they could survive or called them a selfish lost cause jerk and let them die on the streets.

Everybody knew I was different, they just didn't know how different. They didn't know I was different in a way completely unrelated to what they thought was different about me. I learned it was in my best interest most of the time not to reveal they were wrong, the way they thought I was different was more useful than the way I actually was different. I revealed the things they could handle and held the rest back until they were ready for it. Eventually I couldn't pretend anymore, too many balls for me to juggle.

People have a hard time believing I'm what I am because they have a preconceived notion of what that should act like as if behavioral disorders define the person rather than the person's actions and experiences defining the behavioral disorder we assign to them. Like when somebody says they are diabetic and somebody else says what, you can't be diabetic you are not fat.

Do you have any of the autistic related social issues? Do you have any of the autistic related communication issues? Do you have any of the autistic related sensory issues? Do you have stereotypic behavior or specialized areas of interest? A yes to all four of those questions is Asperger's. It doesn't matter how much of a social god with extreme athletic performance who gives great speeches you are if you never make eye contact or use body language, absolutely must do your morning and evening exercise routine or you react violently, and refuse to eat with metal utensils because they make your teeth hurt. Those things are enough to qualify for a provisional Asperger's diagnosis.

The diagnosis might never be sought because there might not be any reason to. If they manage to force themselves to use metal utensils and skip the routine sometimes without it becoming such a big issue and learn to pretend at eye contact by staring at the person's hair most of the time and read a book about body language they then use to engage in using body language, did the autism get cured? It is a physiological difference in the brain, of course it didn't, they just covered up the last remaining signs of it that were being outwardly projected.

Sometimes I doubt for a bit, but then I remember something that makes me certain. For me, I know I have Aspergers, and I'm wanting to get diagnosed.

I've always felt like I was different, but could never really peg down what it was that made me feel that way until I read some personal accounts and biographies of people with AS. I've had a lot of the same thought processes and feelings they expressed. And I do fit quite a few of the "standard" characteristics (if there really are any). But I do tend to get along well with people (most of the time), I don't speak in monotones (unless I'm in lecture mode..."Bueller...Bueller..."), and I think I have a fairly good understanding of facial expressions and body language (though I've done quite a bit of study on those areas).

Those things make me doubt AS as a cause for the issues I've been having, but the more I think about it and look back on the issues I've had, the more AS seems to fit. The biggest problems I have seem to all revolve around questioning my ability to understand social conventions. For example, I like hugs but I've never been able to initiate them; I always wait for the other person to initiate because I don't know when it's appropriate or inappropriate. It's like something I was never taught. Or not knowing how to respond to someone who's upset. My mind becomes overwhelmed with analysis paralysis while I try to figure out what to do. Issues like that, amog other things, usually bring me back to AS. This is also why I'm going through the assessment/diagnosis process right now with a psychologist, to see if I'm right or if there's some other cause(s).

I lean back and forth on this whenever im reading about other peoples experiences. The problem with me is I have a pretty poor memory about myself. I'm learning more with observation of the now and slowly remembering the past.

I don't really have meltdowns so much, but I think I understand the whole concept of "shutdown". It can be easy for me to feel overwhelmed over things that shouldn't do such, and I just sort of crumble and not want to move or talk, and am unable to define the exact trigger of it at the time. I'm still not sure on how extreme it has to be to be a meltdown.

I used to be fairly sensitive to sound and light. That seems to have mostly weakened. I may or may not be sensitive to pain. It surprises people at what I've felt pain from, so perhaps I have a small sensitivity to it. Overall, the sensitivity part makes me question since it doesn't seem to be as harsh as it was when I was younger.

My balance when I was younger was superb, but then again I practiced at it! I used to be able to jog on a single rail-road track. The difficulty there was managing your feet, so that your balance didn't get tossed to either side. Over the last year though I've been fairly inactive. Not much skating or DDR, and my balance now is crappy. I lose it at unexpected times, although I have yet to injure myself. I also don't frequently drop things, although my finger movements feel quite awkward and limited at times.

Today I've nailed down the observation of one of my weaknesses with people. For the longest time I've been unable to explain my problem. I'd just say, "I don't know, I just don't like it", because I couldn't define the problem really. I have to put thought into how to deal with social situations that are obvious. Like, a waiter starts heading your direction. People know the waiter is coming to assist them, but they may not put thought into their replies. I have to decipher what it is they're going to ask so I can try to formulate a proper reply before they arrive. I also have this unshakable feeling in my throat, as if I wont be able to clearly say what I intend. I feel like I lack the control needed to say it politely, or that I don't even know how to say it politely. I also feel like I'll say the wrong thing entirely, and indicate what I want in some other fashion or choice of words, rather than the direct route.

When I tell somebody I have AS and wish to indicate to them I have it, I want to be able to confidentally say that I have it. I don't want to mislead them. This is why I go back and forth on whether I have it or not, when really it doesn't matter. I have difficulties, that's all they need to know so that we can work something out. Realizations like the one above that are clearly related to AS are slowly building a more confident belief that it is AS that affects my life. Although, I'll probably never truly be sure, even with a "professional" diagnosis.