What is your diagnosis & did you go to reg. or special e

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My son is 3 1/2 and has been diagnosed with autism. I feel like our public school system, now that it has special education programs for children with autism, "filters" kids like my son into special ed at 3 years old and doesn't give them a chance at regular education. My son is very bright but has delayed conversational speech, imaginative play, etc. How is he supposed to learn "typical" skills if he is put in a classroom with kids that have very delayed speech and social skills (ie-won't look at him, talk to him, play with him, etc.)
So, to get to the point, I am wondering if anyone could tell me what their school experience was like. Were you able to make it through regular education or was special education a better fit? Please share your diagnosis/childhood skills/behavior/intellectual functioning so I can tell if my son might be in a similar situation to yours. Thank you!

I was mainstreamed because I could speak. I had no special ed, but I was always threatened with it, if I didn't keep my grades up, if I didn't co-operate with teachers and adults, etc.
It was considered to be strengthening to my character to be corporeally disciplined when I erred at school and at home.

Despite this, I graduated from high school and thirty years later, went to college and graduated from college, too. If one continues to plan and then work the plan, one can make progress.

I have AS but I was in regular ed mainstreaming special ed.

Here is the thing about me:


I was labeled with autism when I was about two and I went to a special school for toddlers with development delays and then when I was six, I went to a normal school and I was placed in special ed there full day with other kids with disabilities. When I was four or five, my label was turned to autistic behavior because of my hearing loss I had when I was a baby. The word was gone by the time I was in elementary school because it stopped being mentioned. Before my mother put me in a new school in regular ed, she had to take me to a doctor to have him test me and write a report so my new school wouldn't do the same thing to me the other school did. I basically lost the autism label when I got older because doctors realized I wasn't autistic but then I was diagnosed with AS when I was 12.

When I was in special ed full time when I was six and seven, I learned bad behavior there but at home I be my regular self and I only attended regular ed for PE, Library or Music. When I was six, my special ed class went to a regular ed class to go to lunch with them and we also went to another regular ed class and we go to music with them. That's the way my school did it so there was a little mainstream there. My parents didn't even know it was a mistake I was placed in that special ed class because my school told them I should go to this other school because they had special ed there for kids with development delays and my parents went along with it thinking the school knew what they were doing. They didn't know then they had rights also and they could have said no to it. So when I was seven I came home one day screaming and when my mom talked to me about it, I said "Sorry mom I forgot, that's school behavior." That got my mom thinking wondering what was going on and then she found out what kind of class I was in and that's some kids did in my class. We had one boy with Down's syndrome who screamed for no reason so I learned it from him. It was just really bad because it was okay for one boy to shout out numbers when we get to a number 9 in a number and it was okay for another boy to run in class with his pants pulled down after he be through using the bathroom but it wasn't okay for the rest of us to do those things. It was okay for some kids to do a thing but now okay for the rest of us to do it which didn't make sense. Even my mom thinks that was stupid and the teacher was just lazy.

Then when I was 8 and I was in regular ed full time, I had to go to special ed to do first grade work so I could catch up in education because the other school held me back. They did not give me regular school work, my teacher had me do the same work over and over and over and never gave me anything new. I didn't learn to count money or learn about history or learn new types of math like carrying and borrowing in addition and they didn't give me double digits for subtraction so in second grade in my new school I had to do catch up and in my reading too.

In pre school it was all normal. I was in a class with kids who were more normal while next door had kids who were more delayed and we did things normal pre schoolers do. Sang, played, watch a movie, recess, snack time, story time, but we had PE in my school and library. In PE it was just us playing around than doing sports and PE games so it was like another recess and kids rode buses to school and back because it was ran by the school district. It was all special ed buses of course that took kids there. But in my pre school the teacher was teaching us manners and all. During snack time we had to rub our chests and say "May I please have(insert food here the teacher is serving)?"

What's funny is the way kids acted in my pre school class, they did not act the way kids in my special ed class acted when I was six and seven. That's because in my pre school, everyone in my class pretty much had the same rules. I can only remember one girl we had in my class for a short bit who didn't have to sit in the group for story time or for other things because she got to sit out and play with things with one of the aids and she was allowed to run ahead of the line when we go somewhere like to recess or to PE or library while the rest of us had to be in line and walk. I am not sure why they let her break rules while they made the rest of us kids follow rules or else time out. If it weren't for her Little Mermaid outfit, I would have disliked her because she broke rules I loved the Little Mermaid then. I disliked the boy next door because he broke rules by playing with toys he wasn't supposed to play with while the other kids had to play with what the teachers had out for them to play with while this one boy got to take things off the shelf and play with them making a mess and I didn't like him because of it, plus he drooled and I thought that was disgusting. Sometimes I had to be in that class when many kids in my class be absent for some reason so me and other kids from my class would go next door.

special ed is supposed to include an IEP (individual education plan) because what works for one kid won't for another. finding out those magic words (IEP) saved my son educationally, and will now do the same for my daughter. my son needed to go to a day treatment program to help him with social and self-management skills before he could mainstream into a transitional classroom, and my daughter will avoid problems because now she'll get extra time for work and tests that she actually has the ability to do, just not in the time they give her.

the point of an IEP is that school administrators, special ed dept and the PARENT determine how the child will be best supported in the education system. your kid won't learn social skills from other kids, he only gets to practice on them. he actually learns them from adults, and the extra coaching he'll get in special ed just won't happen in a regular classroom. hopefully the point of having him in a special class is to provide staff who will coach him with the goal that he'll transition to a regular classroom setting later when his skills are solid.

school was a disaster for me. I think if I'd been put in a special ed program and got some support at home I'd have been much better off. basically, school sucked and I hung out with the other misfits anyway. the regular kids just made it hard to learn because they were so noisy and had those popularity games, which I tried to play but which just ended up hurting me.

As a baby, my parents were told that I could be autistic because I had a language learning delay and wasn't socializing enough. (I was diagnosed with Asperger's later on in college.) I started off in special education, and was later moved to a mainstream school. While I was in the school with the special ed program, I had a lot more friends and acquaintances because I could relate more with the other students and I wasn't considered as much of an odd ball. However, at the mainstream school I was like an anomalie and felt forced into not staring and appearing normal because of bullying and name calling.
It's a good idea to research the quality of the special ed program that your son's school has. Maybe, you could have him in a regular ed class with an aide and have him take extracurricular programs or a support group with other developmentally delayed kids, or you could have him in a special ed class and have him take extracurricular programs with kids without social or developmental problems?

My little sister has a diagnosis of HFA. She was still in diapers and language delayed etc., and she was mainstreamed. She came to school kicking and screaming and had to be bribed to get in the classroom, all kinds of things, but she was still mainstreamed. My mother pulled her out of school 'cause she was getting bigger and still refused to go though. I believe your son could probably be mainstreamed if the school gives him a chance.

As for me, I had no need for services until middle school. In elementary school only the ones with behavior problems got noticed. I didn't cause any trouble so I was ignored. In middle school I started having problems. In high school everything fell apart. I'll be mainstreamed with services/IEP next year, 2 classes a day. They didn't want to not mainstream me 'cause I don't have any learning disabilities or anything of that nature.

I went to regular school when I was a kid, but started having problems when I was like 11, and switched to a private school when I was 12 or 13. I think it worked out really well, because I got to interact with normal kids for a while, but got pulled out right when everyone was going into puberty and things would have gotten really difficult for me. I switched back for high school, which was boring because I spent most of it alone and didn't talk to anyone. Which was probably better than speaking too much and getting teased. Private high school would have been nicer, I think.

I didn't have any language delay. I did do imaginative play, but spent most breaks and recesses in public school playing alone. I threw tantrums sometimes and had trouble with homework. I had some friends, but more enemies.
My diagnosis is.. well it's officially just PDD, I think, but my mom's referred to it as HFA and my doc said it was the same serial number as AS, which I guess is all because those terms still haven't been sorted out yet, universally.

Anyway, I really loved the private school. It was sort of a catch-all for higher functioning kids who had trouble in regular school for whatever reason. It was pretty laid-back, kids were given a lot of leeway, and the staff were really involved in helping everyone with.. everything. And I made some great friends that I still see today. So yeah, that was really cool. I never went to special-ed while I was in public school though, so I can't comment on that. Sorry.

I went straight through normal schools but the reason for this is that the medical profession were not aware of AS at this time (I left High School in 1975). I did reasonably well but there are a number of reasons for this:

1) It was a private school and all of the teachers were good people. As an example I was hopeless at sports so the three sports masters worked with me until we found something I was good at, long distance running. So, whilst the rest were playing rugby or cricket I was running a five minute mile.

2) There were a group of us with similar attitudes, some would call us nerds and some would (now) call us aspies. We got together and formed a science club with the assistance of the staff.

3) Nobody minded if you just sat in the library and read a book at break time.

4) No girls, this was an all male boarding school.

The end result was a decent set of exam results BUT little preparation for the outside world. Hopefully there are now people who can recognize AS and then help your kid through the school system.

Vanilla_Slice

Since I am autistic and have also worked as a special education teacher, I have a unique perspective on this.

For one thing, we all know we crave socialization but cannot quite make it work. In a large classroom, the "social scene" is overwhelming. It would be easier to make friends in a smaller, special ed setting. I did not know the names or faces of anyone in my first grade class. I was too oblivious. So, I don't feel mainstreaming helps the socialization aspect. In fact, teasing and bullying can be worse.

Now, because I am 40, I was not diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome until I was an adult. It wasn't in the diagnostic manual until 1994. So, I was mainstreamed through school. It was a nightmare! I wish I'd been able to be in a special class that addressed my unique needs.

I managed to get two master's degrees, but could not hold a job more than a year, in all my life. If I'd had the specialized support of special ed, I might have done better. I don't know. All I know is that I live on disability now.

That's impossible to determine. I don't, and didn't.

To the OP: it's "officially" down that I have Autistic Disorder, and I sound like your son (delayed expressive speech, no creative/imaginative play, no spontaneous speech/social interaction, etcetera), but I was diagnosed at the age of 25, so I did the whole mainstream thing.

Grades 1 to 3, I was given remedial education because I couldn't read/write, as well as repeating a year, but I eventually got it; I was fine with all other subjects (my IQ was tested as "high" when they gave me one due to thinking I had MR). Arduous hours of work by my mother and teachers helped my verbal delay immensely (over the holidays and each night after school); you wouldn't know I had a delay in verbal ability now, as I don't (I'm effectively like someone with AS). I cannot remember these years, except for a couple of images in my head. I learnt appropriate social behaviour from my mother. I was of the passive make, so I was easy enough for the other kids to get along with.

The rest of primary school I excelled at.

High school sucked, and I would have much preferred homeschooling at this time; people changed in social behaviour, where I stayed the same; classes were fragmented and homework was required (I don't and didn't do homework, and I don't take well to doing several subjects throughout the day). My grades dropped, as did my social ability. I just stopped going in grade 11, and since I wasn't little Daniel anymore (I was bigger than all of the teachers...), no one could have forced me to stay. Luckily, I had an understanding mother who knew I hated it.

I don't see the need for special education if your son has a deficit in only one area, as he'll still be able to do everything else to the same level as his peers in mainstream schooling.

Just watch out for the high school era; it seems to be a problem for most people with AS/HFA.

My son was placed in a special program at age two for children with language delays. I think it really helped him but he really didn't start speaking conversationally until age 5 when he was medicated for his sensory related anxiety. Even then it was very limited. He is mainstreamed with an IEP mainly focusing on skills such as eye contact, talking about himself etc. He will enter junior high in the Fall with an IEP that is the same except for the added feature of sensory breaks and learning to know when to ask for one. He had two meltdowns in 5th grade that resulted in some self injury. I think it is good that he is mainstreamed but I really think he would do better with a much smaller class size. I say this even though his classes have been relatively small (16-18 kids). I think he needs smaller. Academically I wish I could home school him but I have to work to support us and frankly we are both inattentive ADD and I would probably suck at it. I'm told the state has to provide funds for different schooling if the public system can't provide for him but he does OK enough and I think it would be a difficult case to make. What I really wish was that there was a behavior mod social skills aspect to his IEP that was more comprehensive than just eye contact.
As for myself I know I was placed in the "slow" class for first grade because I tested so poorly. The principal told my mother that if it weren't for my drawing skills she would have put me as borderline mentally delayed.

:? I had a horrible time at school. Personally I've never been labled with an ASD (I'm just wondering if I have one or not) but as a child I had extreme emotional outburts, like tantrum on drugs... everyday... till I was 16. I was labeled severely EI and ADHD. Currently I'm Schizoaffective.

I was very bright and they put me in the regular classroom for a while, but eventually stuck me into Special Ed for part of the day. Special Ed in my school was useless... no learning there for me, all I did was homework and played on the computer. They also tried in school aids according to the school records to model social skills which I lacked. Anyway I felt that the school couldn't help me, I eventually grew out of having rages and learned to cope with my feelings on my own.

They told me if it wasn't the fact I was severely EI, I could have skipped grades and junk... I wish I was put in some specific school where they could have better handled my issues, it's like they didn't know what to do with me.