Post if your Dx is "Not sure if I have it or not"

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...in your WP profile, of course.

Also, if you want, explain why you chose this diagnosis over "Neurotypical" or "Asperger's - Undiagnosed." Have you ever changed them?

I kinda keep going back and fourth between "don't know if I have it or not" and "asperger's -- undiagnosed".. I'm pretty sure I have it.. I very solidly meet the criteria. I've been getting "help" for a long time, though, and have gotten diagnosed with a LOT of different crap.. but the one thing that actually is my problem was overlooked, and I don't have much confidence, so even though it's really the only thing that makes much sense to explain what's wrong with me, I keep second-guessing myself. Most shrinks like to screw with me, it seems.. I've had several say some really really horrible things to me.. so I'm not sure if I can get a diagnosis, since apparently most doctors find me unlikeable and therefore don't want to help me. Or maybe that's just the poor quality of care in this area. It didn't have nearly so much of a problem with nasty psychiatrists until I moved down here.

That's what I listed. The reason is self-explanatory...I don't know if I have it or not. I do think it's the most comprehensive reason for the way I am. It's also the reason I'm going through the assessment/diagnosis process with a psychologist. I did the initial diagnostic interview and she said it's very likely I have mild Asperger's, possibly PDD-NOS, with social anxiety. She wants me to do more testing before she makes her assessment/diagnosis so I'll be going back soon to do that. If I get diagnosed (which, at this point, seems likely) I'll change the listing to reflect it.

I'm in the same situation.
From what I've mentioned in other posts, it was brought to my attention many times throughout my life that I may have AS. I have yet to get a formal diagnosis. However I believe I have one of these, in particular order.

Asperger's
Multiple-complex Developmental Disorder
Non-verbal Learning Disorder
PDD-NOS
Schizoid

I know it looks like a long list and I sound like a hypochondriac. But atleast I'm almost certain I'm on the spectrum.

If that makes you a hypochondriac, how would you describe a psychiatrist who diagnoses someone with 8 or more different things?

I've had two evaluators conclude that I don't have Asperger's. I don't agree with them. Right now my DX is Dysthymia (not sure how one spells that one) and a Schizoid Personality Disorder. Still trying to figure out what the difference would be from SPD and Asperger's that makes them so sure it's not Asperger's. (Particularly considering the family history of autism and ADHD, OCD, Tourette's and the like.)

I chose "undiagnosed" first, but then I realized how complex the diagnostic process really is. I don't want to self-diagnose, I think it's highly unreliable and I don't want to kid myself just because I need an explanation. So I'm undergoing an investigation right now annd I'll know the verdict in a couple of weeks. It seems though, that I have real problems with social cues and relationships, but no problems with flexible thinking. Other than that I'll have to wait for the professional opinion. I think I'll probably get an additional Tourette's diagnosis.

Have you taken a look at the Wikipedia article on SPD?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_p ... y_disorder

After I discovered the existence of AS I read up on all the personality disorders I could find. SPD does seem to have some overlaps with AS but I think it is fundamentally different. This quote from the article particularly struck me as inconsistent with AS:

Treatment is often not necessary, as people with this personality type may not care if they are seen as having a mental disorder, so they generally do not seek psychological treatment except when they are compelled to enter therapy to solve another problem, such as an addiction.

Seems like the majority of people on WP have spent quite a bit of time in a therapist's office.

The biggest thing that jumped out at me looking at SPD was the "indifference towards praise or criticism." It seems as though most people around here are like me in being oversensitive to it. (there was a "when someone accuses you of lying, do you feel dishonest?" thread that really resonated with me) That and that SPD looks like it might be less inability to socialize and more just not having the desire to do so. I think a lot of aspies eventually lose a lot of the desire to socialize, but that mostly comes from negative associations after years of failing at it than actual not wanting to socialize.

Cause I've heard so many different things from different people...

One therapist: Thought I had it at first, then changed her mind. Said I had OCD (wha? no one else ever suggested that) and was really nasty overall to me.

My long-term therapist: He told me I might have it mildly but if I had it it wasn't currently handicapping me so wouldn't be worth dxing it. He said my mood disturbances and psychosis were much more important to worry about. He mentioned my conversation skills were great making him doubt.

My psychologist: I don't want to self-diagnose so I never brought it up to him, but he compared my personality to Bill Gates making me wonder if it's in his mind. That was a funny comment anyways.

First person that told me about it: He was a moderate functioning Aspie... he said at least I didn't behave like NTs.

People in the hospital: No way

A relative after asking him: "Duh, I thought you would have figured that out years ago" He thought he was an aspie too, but looking at his traits, I think he's an NT though.

Random lady at bipolar support meeting, suddenly blurting out: "I work with autistic people and you seem that way to me" then they asked me questions for a solid ten minutes cause other participants worked with aspies too in schools and such, who would have thought a bipolar support group would have had such experience with aspies?

One of my current roommates: Said randomly one day her sister was an aspie. I said "I have considered that disorder and others to explain why I think differently" she said "yeah......." and just stopped the conversation, she left me hanging there!

Another roommate: Said she suspected I had some disorder, but wouldn't tell me which one. Asked me randomly one day if I obsessed over things.

Most people I have asked about that: "what in the world is that?"

I have determined I am either mildly AS, giving me meltdowns, stimming, and obsessive interests and bad social skills, but with my ability to read people and make eye contact intact, or I'm just a mentally ill NT, that happens to be eccentric.

Well, originally, I wasn't sure. There are highly introverted neurotypicals, and maybe that fits me.

When I read about asperger's/autism, I thought I had a few traits as a kid, I didn't like to be touched or show affection to my family, I mostly ignored other kids/people, I was a very picky eater, and had "obsessions", although rarely unusual. I'd cry if forced to eat a new food but not if I got a shot at the doctor's office. I was sort of shut off socially, but I could communicate, no speech problems. None of those traits meant autism though, and they aren't as bad as when I a child, so I picked not sure when I signed up.

After looking, and learning for a few years, I'd probably now say I'm neither. Sensory things, when they bother me, often don't cause a response, I'm too slow reacting. I can't judge myself socially, because I'm not very social outside of my immediate family. So...the "not sure" stays, I guess.

I had a hard time deciding whether to put "Aspergers - Undiagnosed/Self-Diagnosed" or "Not sure if I have it or not".

I really feel that I do have it - I just fairly recently became aware of the condition and it was a real "Aha!" moment for me. So many things about myself seem to make so much more sense to me in light of the possibility of having AS. Also, I feel that I have found a new home here at WP - it's amazing to me how many other people share the same thoughts/issues/problems that I thought I was alone in having.

But on the other hand, I do have some skills that would make me seem like an NT: I can read social cues/body language, I am aware if I'm boring someone when talking about my interests, I can manage eye contact to some extent (although it is VERY difficult for me). In essence I have been able to "learn" many of the social skills that are required to get along in the NT world.

I told my shrink who I'm seeing for something unrelated (relationship counseling with significant other) that I suspected I might have AS on our first meeting and she said that she just didn't see it in me. But as the meetings have progressed, she seems to be taking more notice of a few of the traits that cause me to believe I might have AS (being extremely introverted, limited facial expression, inconsistent eye contact, not expressing much empathy, etc).

The online tests/quizzes indicate I MAY have it or have traits of both AS and NT....... So, who knows? In my heart I believe I have it, but the shrink's casual opinion of it makes me hesitate to say for sure if I have it.

I'm down as "Asperger's - Undiagnosed", but I also think I suffer from a Schitzophrenic spectrum disorded (likely schizotypy), in hindsight I was a little insane when I was a kid (I've actually improved now, although I've acquired apathy). As far as I know, psychiatrists don't diagnose Aspergers and Schizotypy co-morbidly, they just diagnose Schizotypy. I don't like biological psychiatry, and as such I don't think that people getting cognitive therapy need be stigmatized with a diagnostic label, but instead their symptoms should be treated individually.

Although I have a number of autistic features and the obsessive interests, I am probably too high functioning at this point in my life to be diagnosable. Knowing the source of my social difficulties and idiosyncrasies has helped me to understand and be more forgiving of them in my daily life, though. It's also helped my daughter to better understand some of my quirks.

Regards,

Patricia

I definitely have traits of AS, but I think it's wrong to say say "Have Asperger's, Undiagnosed"... I mean, how can you say you have it, if you are not diagnosed.
Therefore, because I'm not sure.

"The biggest thing that jumped out at me looking at SPD was the "indifference towards praise or criticism." It seems as though most people around here are like me in being oversensitive to it. (there was a "when someone accuses you of lying, do you feel dishonest?" thread that really resonated with me)"

I am far from indifferent, but I wonder if psychiatrists think I am. I have been told my affect is "inappropriate" (i.e. I smile when recounting some of the more painful events of my life.) so maybe they simply can't read my pain. I actually think I become extremely deadpan when I'm criticized at all, and I very much crave praise. I don't trust anyone but my family (specifically my children and daughter in law) to provide that, so it may appeart to others that I simply don't care.

"That and that SPD looks like it might be less inability to socialize and more just not having the desire to do so. I think a lot of aspies eventually lose a lot of the desire to socialize, but that mostly comes from negative associations after years of failing at it than actual not wanting to socialize."

And I definitely fall into the second category there too. I've failed at socializing so much and been hurt so badly by my failures that I pretty much decline to try any more. I will make friends with those rare people who are willing to go slowly and gently with me, but there aren't many of those who see anything in me worth nurturing a friendship for. What can I say? I don't come across well.

Oh well, I'm convinced, and it's helped me to be convinced of having Asperger's. I no longer wonder just what is wrong with me because I have an answer that "fits" finally. Also, I have ideas of where to go for coping strategies, because regardless of what I "really" have, the social difficulty is what handicaps my life and what I mainly need help with. The funny thing with that, though, is that I read people really well -- I'm just terrible about how I express what I observe and understand about them.