"I'm Not Ignoring You, I Have Autism"

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I pinned to my baseball cap a button that says "I'm Not Ignoring You, I Have Autism" and went to the grocery store. It changed the whole experience for the better. Usually people are impatient with me and the staff follow me around like I'm a crook or something. I saw people notice the button and back off. When I got in line at the cash, there was a whole world of difference. People weren't impatient with me like they usually are. The guy behind me wasn't mad at me, like would usually happen. The cashier wasn't impatient. Best of all, I wasn't a wreck when I got home.

Comments, anybody? Especially re the words "autism" and "asperger's" ? Will telling the world about it eventually backfire?

Sometimes you have to wear your label to be understood. I don't know what you do to cause people to get mad at you and impatient.

Yeah, I could use something similar at work, where I have to take care of customers (hilarious, isn't it ?) and sometimes there are situations where I just pass as rude stand-offish or anyway don't behave how expected, awkwardeness is always behind the corner,. Maybe something like "sorry if I don't behave properly, I have mild autism"...but for some reason it doesn't sound good to me...

Yeah same here. I could have walked around at my last job with a sign on me saying "Pardon my rude behavior, I have Asperger syndrome" so guests would see it and not assume I can read their minds and know where their personal space is. They would tell me to back up or stand away or move aside so they can get through.

I prefer not to encourage the idea that "autistic" or "aspie" behavior is "rude" by definition. Frankly, I believe that people tend to react to it as if it were rude due to their own often equally bad communication skills. Their bad assumptions about what is meant IRT ourselves are more often correct in regards to NT behavior - but that doesn't mean that making assumptions about the intent behind a behavior or a statement is in any way legitimate.

I prefer to make a statement - often enough, with a tee-shirt - identifying myself as an aspie, but without apologizing for it. It would be like apologizing for being short, or blue eyed, or having a particular skin tone. It leads to self loathing and gives people permission to abuse.

I can see where telling people that you're autistic might get a positive reaction in a store, because they will have an explanation for your behavior and stop following you around. But in a job, an employer might simply decide to fire you if they found out, and tell you that you're noy up to the job. Discrimination would rear its ugly head.

If that's the case then use whatever you can---whether it be a flippant remark you heard or something muttered under their breath or whispered even-- and take them to court. If they try to screw you over, screw em right back.

If I knew that, maybe I could fix it. I can only guess - I know that I seem to ignore people, so I try to pay more attention, but it ends up that I'm paying attention to the wrong thing, which annoys people. In waiting lines, I don't move fast enough, think fast enough. I'm in the way. Maybe more stuff, I really am not sure.

Neither do I. If I did I could maybe do something about it, besides wear a button. I suspect, after much research, that it might be related to my being in my own world, thinking about Henry II (my version of train-spotting), standing the middle of a web of NT's who have expectations of each other and equal expectations of me. Such as, reacting promptly to the cashier's question about air miles. Since this question was invented after I grew up, I assume she's talking to her coworkers and don't respond. And then there's the confusion of packing my own groceries, which I never manage to do fast enough, so I create a traffic jam.

There's more, too. But it's such a relief that people seem now to allow an extra 30 seconds here and there.

I happen to agree STRONGLY with Graphictruthg. Why apologise for something you ARE. And why should you feel as if YOU should do something to change the way you are just because other people are too impatient and too busy rushing through life. Everyone on this planet needs to slow down a bit anyway - if we all slowed down, it would be a step towards an improved quality of life believe.

So please do not feel as though you are in the wrong, or that you should change, or that you should hurry up. If people are too much in a hurry then they have lost the beauty of life because they are too busy trying to rush it past.

It's also ironic that people are only willing to change their views and subsequent actions only AFTER you have told them you have Autism. Notice how they don't make the effort to try to be understanding WITHOUT you making the first step. After all, you are the one with the condition that supposedly makes communicating difficult, and yet THEY are the ones who are not willing to "assume" you need a bit more understanding. They require YOU to help them add 2 and 2 together because they are too busy rushing to do it themselves. They require YOU to communicate with THEM on THEIR level before they are willing to be more understanding. How ironic.

Do you see my point?

What you have done is excellent. The idea of a button on your cap is perfect. Now if people STILL want to be jerky and impatient, ignore them. You are who you are - if people get pissed off, that is just their problem. Don't go changing for other people just because they have no time. WE ALL NEED MORE TIME.

But that *is* my point, that's what the button says. I'm *not* being rude. If I was NT, then the same behaviour might be rude (this would be easier to say if I knew what the behaviour was).

I really think that it would be rude if *they* did it. My point is that it's not rude coming from me. And they seem to take my point.

Good point and absolutely true. I have the good fortune to be retired. If I had told the office about it, it would have backfired big time.

Isn't there a law that prohibits employers for sacking someone with autism? There's one in Australia, though I've never managed to get a job to be covered by it.

I was thinking about getting a badge for when I'm at gigs. People treat me like a kid or give me strange looks because I do appear to be quite slow and awkward. I can't buy off the internet so maybe a sticker would suffice?

I wish I could wear a t-shirt like that in front of my family, but my mom is still convinced I can just "snap out of it"

Personally, i would find doing something like that degrading. If i did it people would just point and laugh, and i don't think it's anyone's business if i have aspergers or not. It'd be the same if you were gay and wore a shirt which said Im gay on it, or if you were a christian and wore a shirt which said you were a christian lol. I am not ashamed of aspergers at all but i think you'd be asking for it waring something like that

I think it's if it's worn in certain areas it ok, like the grocery store. I hate supermarkets and often shut down, so wearing something like an autism badge might make people less impatient with me.
Because I'm too poor to pay $3.50 for a badge I made these:



If someone makes fun of you for being autistic they are the lowest form of human life and you should pity them not feel embarrassed or hurt by what they say.

Btw, many christians and gay people show their pride by wearing shirts or something that shows who they are. Jesus fish? Cross around the neck?