Butt Hurt-ness... Preventable?

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Question for those who like to say "don't get butt hurt" to those who most certainly are and really could use some understanding as opposed to hearing they shouldn't be, but too late they already are...
Do you ever get butt hurt? Have you ever been? If so, how did you you correct this tasteless "posterior" emotion and how can we unsuccessful seekers of love keep this almost uncontrolable post rejection feeling at bay?

Thanks in advance.

What does butt hurt mean?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=butthurt

New term for me. Yes I have that tendency. I think it comes from the whole lack of theory of mind. Only thing that has helped is to have a more forgiving attitude. That way I can keep things cool until I can understand situations more completely.

I think it depends who the comments come from.

I'm 42 and I still can cry over hurtful things that my mom or dad said or did. I was bullied in school cause I was different - this came from teachers as well as peers, and even though it was devastating at the time, when I look back on it now, I feel stronger. And, of course, rejection of the opposite sex is in a category of it's own, but I choose to grow from each experience.

Over time I've learned that most people talk out their asses. They haven't a clue what they're going on about, and their view of your world is subjective - they only have bits and pieces to go by. And in all honestly, hatefulness toward you really isn't about you at all. When people are mean and cruel it comes out of their own fears and feelings of inadequacies. It helps when I remind myself of that.

It truly takes a lot of energy and work to know someone well - to understand a person and appreciate them. The majority of humans just don't want to put forth that much effort.

*And I know this is the 'love and dating' section, but the word 'butt-hurt' can be used to refer to any relationship.

This seems to be a label people attach when they don't want to understand why you're upset. I don't think I'd do whatever the other person wanted if they attached that label to me, negative reinforcment is good for dogs.

Considering the topic, I expected a very diff question....

Hell yes. I have spent a lot of time being butt hurt. It is described in a demeaning way, but I've figured out that a lot of the time this 'butthurtness' is caused by people's insensitive actions toward you.
Calling you names like butthurt is a way people avoid taking responsibility for having hurt you in the first place, and get out of apologising or behaving better in future. Used a lot by false friends and bullies. If somebody makes you feel bad and then ridicules you for it, get rid of them and get nicer people around you.

Bottom line: 'Butt hurt' is caused by 'as*holes'. Do not stick around to take more of their sh*t.

I have oft been a victim of butt hurt, but I must say the definitions on that site are quite hilarious!

Want to stop the "butt-hurt"?

I can tell you how.

Live your life trying your best. Follow your heart and your morals. If you are in a relationship, friendship, whatever, do your best to be the best girl/boyfriend, friend, son, daughter etc etc that you can. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. If you make a mistake, admit it and learn from it. Apologise if necessary.

If you know that you are in the right, no one should be able to make you feel "butt-hurt", because if they try, they are in the wrong, and you shouldn't feel bad for someone else's issues.

Hope I helped.

One problem I've encountered in this area is people driving the issue after an admission or apology, I'm more willing ot own up to mistakes when I'm not in fear of humiliation afterwards.

Unfortunately, it's hard to not care about people even after they accuse you of being wrong, that leads to butthurt too. So the question is how to react on the spot to leave with some dignity.

Dignity smignity. If they're going to be "ass clowns" (to quote Chris Jericho) then in my quite humble and honest opinion they do not deserve dignity. Just keep it in the back of your head that no one deserves to make another person feel "butt hurt". If they want to try and humiliate you, the best reaction is no reaction. Do what Aspies do best!

"Um, are you trying to make me feel bad? It's just that I can't really tell. Can you work with me on this?"

LOL, infuriates every time!

Sorry about that, I just come off a certian way. I've been told that I have a strong sense of guilt, so when people put me on the spot, I just believe them. Usually, I can get by (little stuff isn't so bad), it's when something major shows up and I wonder how I ended up in a bad situation. I have a few examples.

Last summer, I'm working at a clinic. The new boss of the clinic was a real a-hole, he took a day off the weekend and he hardly showed up for work himself. To top it, he always found a way to degrade me really bad. In the end, I tried to get reassigned and I ended up in an office getting chewed out for trying to do even that. I mean I had one guy telling me that I was worthless and I was basically forced to listen to it all.

Or there was the time with my roomate when I decided not to give him another $2000 for the morgage, he kicked me out of the house right then and there. I was in more control then, I just gathered my stuff and eventually left. I'm still feeling that one.

Or there's the times when I make mistakes, I get frustrated that I make them, people around me get even more frustrated and this leads to a vicious cycle where I'm ultra pissed because I have no way of explaining myself when I make a mistake.

I'm just looking for a different angle or perspective on the issue. I like the part of not assigning them any dignity because they really don't deserve any if all they can do is take away mine, I'll have to remember that more often.

Here's a different angle. Extend the the good you would do for yourself to others. You say is that not what was said already? Not exactly. First a persons dignity does not come from their actions. If that were the case there would be a relative scale that we would measure people with. Sorry to say that comparatively speaking there are folks who will make you look bad. Now if I were to have the pleasure to meet you I know that you have dignity by the fact that human beings are equals and have the potential to love one another and create wonderful things in this world. Just because someone decides not to realize this does not mean we strip them of their dignity. These people who may be treating you badly may come to have some future circumstances in their lives that will change their perspectives on things. For all of us they are coming. You probably have had some already. And so you look back on your life and wish you did treat someone better than you had and hope they don't hold it against you. That's what I'm talking about...give people the benefit you already give yourself.

Apologizing is humbling yourself to be responsible for others. It feels like humiliation when you have the wrong perception of your self. Like a perception that you are better than others or somehow worthless. You also cannot expect anything in return for your apology. It is your acknowledgement of a mistake that has impacted someone in a negative way. It is a caring act. Nothing shameful about that. We all make mistakes and can be blind to how our actions affect others. I have known people who I felt wronged me in some way. While I don't demand apologies I do distances myself from the ones who are dismissive of the feelings I have in these situations.