Might accually have a date next week, need input

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Ok, I know I must sound really whiney and idiotic but I thought I'd get some input here. Let me give the background first....
I went out with this guy I'll call "Josh" about, oh, 4 years ago or so. We went on one date and never went out again. I thought we had fun, we talked for about 3 hours (about what I have no clue now) and planned to go out again. But he had to work and cancled. We emailed a few times and I thougth that was it. Last year, he sends me this email wanting to know how Ive been, etc. And we planned to go out again. But the day before we were to go out, he had to cover an extra shift (uh uh) and cancled. We still exchanged a few emails since then. Well about two weeks ago he sent me an email wanting a "life update" and said "we ought to get together sometime". I responded with a simple "sure we can go get some coffee". (I say that to lots of people, as it is harmless and no one ever accepts) SO he said "sure". We planned on going out tommrow, but he thought the weekend would be better and... you guessed it.... cancled. We set an accual date and time for next weekend when we both are off work. I talked on the phone with him for about 20 minutes tonight when he called, and I felt stupid. I wasnt sure what to say and what was convserational topic acceptable. I talked about the fire station (bad idea) and my family.

Ok here's where I really need some input. I cant remember anything about this guy from 4 years ago except how he looks and what his job is. I'd maybe like a second date in the same year (ha ha ha) if we accually go out again, so I dont want to say any thing stupid (as is my habit). How on earth do I find out stuff that he likes with out sounding like i didnt remember him in the first place? And what is "okay" to talk about, and how much is "too much" on any one topic? I can go on and on at the station about the job, and with familiar people about what ever, but Im not good at all on the "date" thing. I tend to say things that are stupid, or so far out of my dates span of knowledge that I inadvertenly give away my intelegence by having to explain techinical terms I take for granted (if he saw my spelling, he'd think I was an oaf).... Its enough to overload my mind.
ok Im through sounding like a socially inept person... wait! I AM socially inept... lol....
Any helpful input?

You could just ask general questions like "What do you do with your time now?" or "What kind of stuff are you into now?". You could take a risk and ask if he's doing the same stuff as he was before, but if he says yes then he'll probably expect you to remember. If you ask general questions your memory might start remembering the things he liked when you first met up. You could also tell the truth and say "It's been so long since we talked last, what kind of things are you interested again?" and start a conversation like that.

That's tough to answer.. because you might get talking on a subject that you both like, so you could talk for it alot longer then one which doesn't interest either of you. I guess just take it as it comes and when it seems straining to continue talking about something - there are pauses or you can't think of anything to say - just try changing the topic and see what happens. If he really wants to talk about whatever the subject is the conversation will probably flow the same way again because he's thinking of it. If you get really badly stuck just talk about how the weather has been or the quality of the coffee your drinking or something like that before you get a better idea or he changes the subject...

I don't really think that's very helpful, but if it makes you feel better I'd be just as worried about what to talk about. Chances are he's forgotten about some of your interests as well, so you could always tell him about something you're excited about/interested in.

I am sorry to bring this bad news to you...

The reason is because what i am about to suggest is dishonest. Unfortunately, that is how it generally must be played.

LSE,
This guy, 'Josh', he shouldn't even have an upcoming date with you. This is not fair.
How many different times has he cancelled? Each time giving the same excuse, not even bothering to entertain you with a decent, creative lie.
Think;
he had to cancel due to work, and that was over a year ago. It would have been easy to have gotten together since then. And the two of you have, only to have him cancel.
EACH TIME.

If you continue to make it this easy on him, you will likely continue to feel pain from whatever this relationship is. So this is my advice, and i know it will be difficult to act upon and then maintain.


You must cancel the date with him.

And give a lame excuse.

I don't doubt that 'Josh' is probably interested in you. But if you want to make him more interested then you must present yourself as a challenge. Its just that after so much time with so many opportunies and so many cancelations, i have to think that, the shoe needs to be put on the other foot.

This does not mean that it is not a relationship that may have potential. It seems as if these are just standard operating procedures in the game of love.
You ever hear the phrase whe referring to ancient human's, "there are hunters and there are gatherers."

I firmly believe that somewhere in each man's psyche is a driven philosophy, that he is the hunter. Make yourself a challenge. Give him something to hunt. Same advice goes for the date, if and when it happens. Make yourself a challenge, especially if you want to pique his interest.


Robert

Thanks ya'll for the advise.

SB2, I have thougth about that. I DID put him off a week (I had to work). I havent heard from him, so Im going to let HIM call me, (the hunter thing). And I may yet tell him no way jose' on the date of the date. I may very well have plans anyhow. I dont doubt that the guy had to work (my sister used to work with him and knew his hours) but it IS weird that after all this time he's making contact again. Its kinda suspect... Intersting delema huh? And honestly, Im not that focused on my getting hurt, because I wasnt that deeply dissapointed when he cancled last time. I dont get my hopes up with anyone.