Does solitude eventually become loneliness?

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Here I am on a Saturday night, isolated as usual. I'm beginning to wonder when the time if ever will come when I will not be able to tolerate such isolation. It's just that I am so used to it. I wish I could be out enjoying myself on a Saturday night like others my age. However my anxiety, low self esteem and inability to grasp social situations is just too much of a hindrance. I do enjoy spending time with myself, but will this always be the case?

Is there anyone out there who feels that, what was once sweet solitude, is now only bitter loneliness?

Well for one thing, you're not totally alone.. you're posting here, and I'm writing back. I know it's not the same, but it also does mean that you're not completely isolated. Part of loneliness is having nobody to talk to.. if there are people to talk to, it's less, I think. I hope..

I suppose the reason I visit WP so frequently is the fact that I am "talking" to someone, anyone. I guess it does help one feel less lonely. But loneliness doesn't seem to be a major problem of mine. It seems that I am very happy with isolation, but am I really???? I don't really know to be honest....

I would not prefer it to be any other way actually,

I would rather be alone and online,

than alone in a crowd.

I think it's a very thin line between solitude, which to me is heavenly, and loneliness, which is awful. And to answer your question ... yes, I think the one eventually almost always leads to the other, unless you're able to head it off at the pass. Very few human beings are able to live for long in total isolation, which is why solitary confinement is such a particularly horrifying punishment.

I think the trick is to try and manage the solitude so that it doesn't become pathological, and turn into your own kind of solitary confinement. This can be something as simple as getting a smile from another shopper at the grocery store, or chatting briefly with someone as you walk the dog.

In the past, for me it's also meant going out and letting myself be picked up by men. But I eventually realized that that just made things worse. It's just a variation of being "alone in a crowd" ... I totally agree with the previous comment about that. Crowded loneliness is horrible.

I think the only real solution is to get outside yourself. That is, focus on someone else and/or do something for them. There are lots of ways to do that ... from volunteering to help elderly people to community clean-up projects to shoveling the snow from your neighbor's driveway. It's hard to feel lonely when you're doing something nice for someone, and they truly appreciate it.

solitude to me is something which you might choose, sometimes it is good to get away from the maddening crowd and just be alone. I like walking in forests on my own or with the dog, but I would be willing to go walking with an aspie or autie. I hate the idea of going on a walk with a pack of chatterbox NTs.

Loneliness is when you want human company, but you are unable to get it. Sometimes it is easy to experience loneliness in a crowd. I have been at some parties in my youth where everybody else is having a great time and I felt very alone there and unhappy.

I can be in solitude and I can be lonely. I can be lonely with out being in solitude, and I can be lonly in solitude. It's not an either/or sort of thing.

I like solitude, frankly, it's my worst addiction.

That we cannot tell blue, for we can't tell how your brain will decide to work, only logic answer is to say it is possible. So my best tip would be if you see a chance to get out of your solitude without too much trauma then take it, that way it will leave more possibility open.

The loneliest I've ever been was during the four years that I spent in High School with 2,000 other students. For me, at least, it seems that the fewer people that I know, the more content and unlonely I become.

The loneliest I have been was 8 year ago for until until about a year/year and half ago, only had one real rest of loneliness during that time and it was when I girl who used to very shy and introverted (what she told me) took me in pity (what I think), she was nice but in the end I think I was too weird for her and she was too extroverted for me (if what she said was true then she came out of been introverted and shy by overcompensating, just wish it doesn't fall back on her later in her life for she still was one of the few nice person I have met, just not for me)

Yeah solitude is quiet blissful. For me loneliness comes when I haven't expressed myself in a while. This can be done using a pen and paper as apposed to talking to people. It frees up your mind from those niggling thoughts.

CaroleT is right about focusing on others, forgetting yourself for a while and helping out in your community.

Maybe you could meet up with some Asperginos in your area hombre.

Sometimes.
Sometimes its the lonely without the bitter.

Some days solitude and loneliness change from one to the other almost hourly.

Having that right now.

Am tonight alternating between being on this machine, working on model trains, playing with the cat, and phoning my wife.
We don't live together on account of stress of living with any other person is too much for me right now - and that generates some bitterness at times.

Doing things with other people is a real drain on me at this time, so that suggested option is out for me - it is an excellent thing to do though.

Although, in fact, have done a small bit of it the last couple of days - there is a fellow who used to own a restaurant in a nearby town who sold it and opened a hobby shop in our little burg. It's primary stock is trains - I do trains. Have ordered some stuff, and have visited with Mike for a 2 hours a day the last 3 days, which has helped his loneliness during parts of the day when hardly anyone comes in for a long stretch. Years past I worked in local hobby shop in a bigger city, so we can "talk shop" some. His place is definitely a one-man operation in a town this small.

It works for both of us: I get just enough in-person contact without overloading with someone with some shared interests and some way different interests; and, he has someone to talk with during slow hours. Probably the one and only appropriate setting though, to hang out in a store talking to the owner for hours.


That is an excellent idea.

I say there is a danger, but it's not certain.

Desiring to be alone does not make one lonely.

What makes you lonely is when you desire to be with other and cannot.

I worry (at times) that my inclination to be alone will make me a total hermit. So, I make the effort to interact when the opportunity presents itself.

However, I'm perfectly content to be alone most all of the time.

Yes, |when I lived on my own I did have this experience. First, I liked being a lone, but as time went by, I got really lonely. I literally saw no people other than my support workers four/five times a week. But this situation was more complicated, so lonelieness was not the only thing going wrong there. When I was a teenager and not having any friends, I actually got better dealing with isolation over time. But then again, there Ilived with family at least.

it did not become "loneliness" for me. i expect that "loneliness" means that a person feels "heart sick for company" and i never like company much.

i like to have people to talk to when i want to talk, but i do not crave company. sometimes i enjoy company, but i never invite it.

i would feel very displaced if i had someone here at my house who lived here with me. i would not be able to tolerate their intrusion into my domain. all people have "wish lists" and they set about achieving them at my expense of solitude.

i am not saying that the way i am is a result of some philosophical decision, i am the way i am because i am not completely correctly built.

i like to not have anyone to have to mold my being into. i like having no demands placed upon me to compromise my freedom of random activity to accommodate others in my world.

i am older and i like better to be alone now than i did when i was younger.

Thank goodness for solitude topic

You can join others here for a time, and then leave...and then return. Opt in, then out. An excape clause if there is too much sensory.