Did anyone else get in trouble over not doing their chores?

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mra1200
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12 Aug 2009, 10:59 pm

Just curious if this was just me, as my father brought this up last night, thinking that maybe I don't have AS and that maybe I'm just plain lazy and undisciplined. He said that I often just plain refused to do a lot of chores around the house, namely cleaning up after myself around the living room and especially my room. I think I recall this, but things like mowing the lawn I definitely do remember it being something I avoided doing because it was taking time away from other things I wanted to do.



Feather
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12 Aug 2009, 11:15 pm

Not doing chores or having to be nagged to get them away from doing something more fun is normal for all kids and teenagers. Or anyone that hasn't yet realised that if someone else doesn't pick up after you that you're going to live in a pile of mess. That is not an Aspie trait. It's a normal kid/teenager trait.

I am not saying you aren't aspie, but what you have described is not an aspie thing - it's a normal kid (or someone who hasn't yet had to go it alone and take care of their own living space) thing.



pschristmas
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12 Aug 2009, 11:36 pm

I used to get into trouble for not realizing that drying the dishes, putting them away, wiping down the countertops and sweeping the kitchen floor was included in "wash the dishes." I also got into trouble for not realizing that "do the dishes tonight" meant "drop everything and do them right now," not just some time that night. I also remember getting fussed at for only cleaning one of two rooms that I'd been assigned -- the problem was that I'd cleaned the one room completely from top to bottom until it sparkled instead of just straightening it up a bit and didn't have time to do the other room by the time my mother got home. Luckily, that time my older sister was home and had seen what I was doing and pointed it out to Momma. When my daughter began doing chores, I was always careful to make sure she knew exactly what was expected.



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13 Aug 2009, 1:30 am

When I was younger, but since I don't live with my parents, its more of do it on MY time, and not do it NOW.I do get what I need to done...but I prefer to do it at my own time and choosing.


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13 Aug 2009, 1:35 am

I never had to do chores until I was 13 or 14. Then I got really lethargic so yes I did get yelled at quite a bit.


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mra1200
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13 Aug 2009, 2:31 am

Feather wrote:
That is not an Aspie trait. It's a normal kid/teenager trait.

I am not saying you aren't aspie, but what you have described is not an aspie thing - it's a normal kid (or someone who hasn't yet had to go it alone and take care of their own living space) thing.


I think my father is saying that he's not so sure about the possibility of me having AS, but saying I'm just lazy and irresponsible. Yeah, I don't do my "chores" now either, leaving dishes sit around dirty - until I need them. My room is pretty much the same way, it's either hellaciously messy or immaculate. I've never been good at routine maintenance to keep it spotless.



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13 Aug 2009, 3:42 am

I don't know. It could possibly have something to do with executive dysfunction?

I still have problems with this, and i'm 21 8O You should see my room... it looks like a tornado went through.



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13 Aug 2009, 3:45 am

I absolutely despised chores. I also hated homework. My mom says I blamed her for my bad grades cos she'd pressure me to do my homework instead of letting me take care of it on my own time. But then, of course, I'd never have time for it. I always tested well, but sucked at homework and studying. I can't even tolerate college.


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iniudan
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13 Aug 2009, 9:07 am

In my own room I tend to be lacking in doing chores, but guess it is a good reflection of the chaos in my mind.

In common room I tend to do a few thing on my own when I feel it is dirty (So when I was living in my mother's home I did do some clean up without been ask but since my mother has a lesser limit to what dirty, rare was the time it was enough for me to decide to do on my own)



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13 Aug 2009, 12:07 pm

i was never given chores to do...I was never instructed on how to do them...it was never drilled in to me by my depressed AS-ish Executively dysfunctional mom...the way that I was expected to help out around the house..she just um...cried about not getting any help... :?



13 Aug 2009, 12:51 pm

I was made to clean my room I had to stay in there until it was cleaned. I also had to clean the play room and we were forced to stay up there until it was cleaned. Sometimes mom be up there with us to make sure we were doing the job. I also remember she would make me take up my own clothes and she would make me stop what I was doing and wouldn't let me do it until I did what she told me to do. When I was nine she started to make me sweep the floors after supper. Then I started to clean on my own and kept my own room clean so my mom didn't really have to give me chores.



TobyZ
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13 Aug 2009, 2:59 pm

Always. Mowing the lawn, doing dishes, cleaning up - outright painful.

I'm damned doing it (painful) or not doing it (guilt = painful).

Life is hard, I enjoy it.



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13 Aug 2009, 5:46 pm

pschristmas wrote:
I used to get into trouble for not realizing that drying the dishes, putting them away, wiping down the countertops and sweeping the kitchen floor was included in "wash the dishes." I also got into trouble for not realizing that "do the dishes tonight" meant "drop everything and do them right now," not just some time that night.
huh, that's exactly what happened to me. I always felt resentment over that, because if my mother had said what she wanted, I would have done it. instead I got yelled at while she wiped the counters down, etc. and told I never do anything right.



pschristmas
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13 Aug 2009, 6:03 pm

bhetti wrote:
huh, that's exactly what happened to me. I always felt resentment over that, because if my mother had said what she wanted, I would have done it. instead I got yelled at while she wiped the counters down, etc. and told I never do anything right.


My mom handled it a bit better. She would scold me a bit each time, but not excessively, and once she'd explained how she wanted something done, she'd back off and let me do it rather than impatiently taking it out of my hands. I think having someone just take the job away from them hurts a person's confidence far more than simple correction.



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13 Aug 2009, 6:16 pm

your mom is smart. I try to give my kids as many reminders and as much coaching as possible because it is really damaging to "fail" all the time. even if my daughter misses a spot, I praise her for the effort and tell her next time she could also get that spot, and she almost always remembers on her own. if she doesn't, I just say "don't forget x" and she says "ok" and that's it. low stress for everyone.



poopylungstuffing
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13 Aug 2009, 11:44 pm

Whenever I was given chores, I was so clumsy at them that people had to go behind me and do them correctly or eventually let me off the hook. Also, I had unconventional methods...like picking up sticks with my toes...which made my grandfather tell my dad that I belonged in a mental ward...(apparently one of his favorite things for him to tell my parents behind my back)

Inattentive ADD and chores don't mix. I hate being lazy...but it is a constant battle.