Having a "Why Do I Bother" moment

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Last edited by Cade on 06 Mar 2006, 2:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cade-thanks for verbalizing how I feel many times. Maybe you're made to reach this aspiration of yours and so you continue in spite of the obstacles? Do you have any confirmation of this by others who know you? Does it make sense or is it like my belief that If only I would jump, I could fly? (literally) I wish I could say something more encouraging but my head still hurts and it's midnight here. I sympathize with you but have no answer but this; just because others don't appreciate your goals doesn't mean you shouldn't attain them, and just because you really want something; doesn't mean you'll get it. Search for the meaning and the truth behind it all. Does it make sense? Is it attainable? Is there lasting value in it? Do the people I respect stand with me on this?

Coffee-break for Siyphus!
(A line from one of my favourite cynical heroes)

I know this one, and self-imposed duties and values can be the heaviest of chains.

Even some losing battles are worth fighting, as the feeling of not having fought, or opposed, would be even worse.

Non Te Illegitimi Carborundant
(Don't let the bastards grind you down)

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Last edited by Cade on 06 Mar 2006, 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cade says,

Oh my, I am so there with you today, Cade. I think I would fade away in the land of mediocre, though. I try to do something, my intentions being good ones and then I am misunderstood. I know I should just stay away from people all together, I know this fact. This way, I would not be hurt....but I cannot do it - I've got to attempt/try/reach out. I hate this sick feeling but I know it will pass.

Thank you for posting, at least I know I am not alone.

Corwin of Amber, from Roger Zelazny's Amber Chronicles.

He had a line in mis-quotes and allusions:
"All the world's a stage, and my role sometimes makes me feel like strangling the author."

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Last edited by Cade on 06 Mar 2006, 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's fabulous! I love it.

I should check him out. People have recommended his stuff to me, but I never have gotten around to it.

Zelazny has a variety of styles and not all suit everyone, but he remains a favourite author. I discovered him via the first Amber series (the second series is generally held in less regard). "Lord of Light" is remarkable. The short story collection "Unicorn variations" might be a good place to start.

I personally love the gothic romp "A Night in the Lonesome October" which I read in that month every year.

I LOVE the Chronicles of Amber! (Although, I don't care for the sequel or some other of Zalazny's works) This story was the most intriguing, sophisticated, mystery/fantasy novel I've ever read. Is there anything even close to an equivolent out there? Once I read something so excellent, I'm too critical of other works and don't appreciate them. Any suggestions?

That's going to be a matter of taste, and is a blatant a bit of thread-wandering as I've ever seen. Do you want to start a new one?

If I knew what else you have enjoyed, I might be bolder to suggest...

Cade, you are capable of doing anything you believe you can do and want to. Any time you are having difficulty either means you are going too fast or having bad luck, you are capable of increasing your own capability over enough time to defeat these difficulties. You are just gonna have to invest time and faith. And as for why you should bother, i suggest you find some fanatical nut whose dream you can make come true. Usually better if you can get behind their cause, and they have some kind of an interest in how well you do.

Personally i derive motivation from my personal value of competance. I believe that if you are going to do something do it well. And in this world there is no shortage of things that could be done so much better. And i'm gonna do it better at the very least to DEMONSTRATE that such a thing is possible.

You would do well to figure out what your motivation is, and i'm sure you have some. And if you can't think of anything good there is always the fanatical nut idea.

Also, i am familiar with the dent in your conviction that will come when a several people gang up on you and tell you that you are wrong and incompetant. More than likely this was about something that struck emotional cords in them and therefore were totally unwilling(as opposed to just very unwilling as most people are normally) to see how you might be at least somewhat right.

The trick is to not cast your pearls before swine. Or at least before casting them before swine do a little mental meditation and prepare to hear their discouragements and know they are being close minded and you are being stronger than them to put up with their small mindedness in an attempt to express yourself.

Emmetman wrote: is a blatant a bit of thread-wandering as I've ever seen. Do you want to start a new one?



Sorry. It's not like I'm the queen of etiquette. (See you on the thread I'm going to start.)

At this time I'm having a 'why do I bother' life. I'm increasingly reluctant to study because I feel I don't want to spend a mind-numbing 3 years at a universiy doing something that won't get me a job

Did you start one? Whwre? I woudn't want to miss it, and be thought impolite.


To wriggle on the thread, sometimes on the worst days little moments can occur that are worth having. Whether they're enough on their own, I doubt, but they're something.

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Last edited by Cade on 06 Mar 2006, 2:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.