Ummm... if your serious I'd try to do what the person b4 me said & change your identity. But your brian damage may be affecting how your perceiving the situation (no offense)
. Good luck 
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Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.