What's Up With All This Attractive Stuff?

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Whats up with all thios attractive stuff? Why do you AS guys say that women only date attractive guys who act like jerks? I'm attractive and women don't even look my way unless they are older. So i guess this means that a lot of girls don't go for looks, and if they do like looks, they don't always assume you're a jerk.
I think the real answer is that most people have good social skills, so the girl is gonna pick the goodlooking guy with good social skills over the unattractive guy with poor social skills or even the goodlooking guy with poor social skills. and a lot of times that handsome guy is a jerk.
But my problem is is that, so many guys on here associate jerks with being attractive. NO NO NO. many girls have picked a butt ugly jerk over me and I'm handsome.
In wonder if I walk around in public do people automatically think I'm a jerk just because i'm handsome. lol in that case, I'd have girls all over men when they first see me. but that does happen lol, but they eventually start to think im weird.
so here's the answer I guess:

Women associate confidence with great looks.
So if a guy looks good, most of the time he has good skills with women and has had many gfs. BUT, the reality is, that is not always the case. there are many handseom guys who have never had a gf.
so anyways, once they get to know this guy, they associate his awkward personality with low confidence and weirdness so they run. REMEMBER, THESE ARE IMMATURE GIRLS.

So women associate confidence and jerk with each other....the young and immature ones of course.
Why do they do this?
because theu are insecure about themselves.
when women are more confident, they stay away from jerks. But many women stay insecure.

and insecurity and maturity have nothing to do with each other. There are, well, a few confident young women, most are insecure though. There are also still many insecure older women, but there are a lot of confident older women as well.
so...to aspie guys? do you really wanna be with insecure drama queens? and should you blame your unsuccessful dating life on women?

No and No.

You dont want to be with these women who cause drama, because who wants that, leave that to the losers that these type of women like.

Also, dont blame your unsuccessful dating life on women....blame it on yourself for going after these type of women. Many people tell men that it is just them and they need stop blaming women....well a woman who is in a relationship with an aspie tells me "It is not your fault, it is just these silly dramaqueens, and remember it is not you"

so I'll let you decide who to blame

Girls go for dudes who don't give a f****. Jerks fall in that category but so do some cool nice dudes who seem to give even less of a f*** than the jerks do.

^ I disagree, Alex. Speaking purely from my own experience I choose someone who mirrors what my interests/goals are at that stage in my life. My initial connection is based on chemistry. Usually words over looks to begin with. Intellect comes first, looks comes second. I have no patience for jerks and if someone doesn't give a f**k, then I have no interest either because to me that means he has no drive. That find that to be a huge red flag, in my books.

From my experiences as a guy....I've noticed that girls lean more towards what alex is saying.
Also the thing about this nice guy and jerk thing is. There has to be some truth in it, otherwise it wouldnt be a problem. I mean come on.
We dont go around saying "Do women like human men or Lions" because we know that women don't like lions but they do like men, so we dont go around asking that question. but we don go around asking "Do women like nice guys or jerks" which means there is truth on both sides. some women like nice guys and many like jerks.
But back to what alex was saying. From my experiences the girls i know like guys who ignore them, tease them, and dont talk about their feelings.
the reason i think this is is because girls themselves care a lot about stuff so i guess they dont want a guy who cares about stuff. Also men who don't give a f**k, they would go with a girl who doesnt give a f**k or one who does, it doesnt matter to men, as long as she looks good.

Also with what Alex said. It is true...it only depends where you are and what type of people/women you are around.

i am kind of old and not a typical female but i definetely couldn't date unattractive men. and my favorites were the ones who didn't talk about feelings.
anyway if you date for fun/sex play a game of teasing (and in that case you won't care that much anyway right?) and if you are looking for true love that the right one would recognize you i.e. you are going to click right on.

Are any of these women Aspies though? My perspective comes from the Aspie side. Sure I have NT girlfriends who have chosen jerks, but most of the Aspie women I know are the opposite. I also know a lot of NT women who are involved with awesome guys. I don't think it's as black and white as some people (meaning generally...not you specifically) are lead to believe.

I've dated Aspie guys (one was a complete ass but I didn't know that going into it) and I ended it upon realizing what was what. I was also married to an Aspie (currently separated) and he was and continues to be an awesome guy.

Going forward, when I'm ready to bring another relationship into my life full time, it will be with an Aspie and it won't be with an aspie jerk. I've found that when I'm with an Aspie guy, it's easier to be myself.

Sorry. Grouping anything under one heading is a huge pet peeve of mine. My brain refuses to cooperate as I am forever dissecting things. I'll bow out for now before I suffer from foot in mouth sydrome.

A female coworker literally told me once: " I can't like a guy who's so easy with me and do everything I want, I like the guy who's bit mean with me".

And oh , about showing feelings:

Men four times as likely as women to commit suicide , that's due to the fact that men usually don't vent about their feeling in real life because:
-They are raised like that (fathers teach sons "men don't cry")
-Society (men AND women) look lowly at feelings-exhibitors men.
-Are biologically wired like this

Showing feelings and concerns is a sign of weakness in men, if you look around women talk about their emotional problems all the time, they're more encouraged to talk about their problems than men ,they're also more empathized than men. Men are more likely to be labeled as 'whiners' (by other men and women) if they talk about their emotional problems too much , that's why men prefer to hide them.

Talking about my tiny surrounding, girls at work talk about their family/relationships/bf problems almost all the time at lunch breaks , almost daily. Men rarely do that, I have no idea what are the problems they're facing.



Ron235, maybe you're ugly . There's no proof that you are attractive.

To avoid the possible ambiguity of "attractive", I distinguish between being good-looking and attractive. Attractive means precisely that: causing other people to be attracted to you, possibly but not necessarily as a consequence of your looks. It seems that looks matter a bit less with finding a girlfriend than they do with finding a boyfriend.

The "nice guys"/"jerks" dichotomy that often comes up in discussion here never made much sense to me. I know some very personable guys who don't seem to have any trouble having a girlfriend. Some of those are friends of mine; we don't talk about girls often, because my fortunes contrast to theirs so greatly that we can't relate on our own experiences and I think they would just get frustrated.