Worried......Have question re: Speech

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Hello,

My son is a 3 1/2 year old Aspie. He was talking at an early age and his speech was always so clear. He mostly repeated lines from tv shows and would sing children's songs very clearly. When he talked to us he would ask for something, and sometimes he would ask in a sentence, sometimes not, but it was pretty clear. He very obviously had and has now a delay in social communication skills, he only talks when he wants or needs something or when he's playing his trains "talk" to each other.

My worry is, is that he seems to be regressing in his speech. When he talks, he sounds everything out and speaks very slowly. He never used to do this. He has been in speech for almost a year, I asked his speech therapist about it a couple of months ago and she says that although they are not working on sounding things out or articulation I think they call it, they will sound something out if he is saying it wrong. And my response was that knowing my son the way I do, he would take that to mean he has to do it every time he talks, but since I talked to her, it has gotten a lot worse. My husbands theory is that before he started doing this he was repeating or mimicking (sp?) everyone and now that he's trying to say things on his own he's thinking about it and trying to get it out correctly. I don't know if it's me or if it's my son's stubborness, because he is very stubborn, but lately when I ask him a question, it's like he doesn't hear me or doesn't know what I'm asking, he used to answer me more. All I know, is that I am extremely worried that his speech is regressing so much that he won't be able to talk at all.

Since he was diagnosed last January, I have had my ups and downs dealing with the diagnosis. Lately I have been doing so well, but this is getting me down again. I don't care if he has Asperger's or not, I just want to be able to communicate with him, I just want him to be alright, and not knowing what's going on is killing me! There are no experts on this around here and his follow up appt. with the specialist is at the end of next month, so any help or experiences you've had on this would mean so much to me.

Thank you very much.

My son didn't talk at all until he was 3 and has a really hard time since then. At first he would repeat everything and memorize lines from movies and such. He still does this to an extent and he is 7. At first he learned to talk by memorizing phrases and words, figuring out how it fits into the world, and he would use it to communicate. It took some interpretation, but he got his point across. He is much better now, however sometimes I think he can't understand me or doesn't hear, but I have found that he needs time to process what what I am saying, and also time to figure out a response. This process could take up to 2 minutes. He actually is able to ponder an answer to question 1, and at the same time answer question 2 and 3, and then at the end, the answer to question 1 will come out. It's bizarre, but cool at the same time.

Language is like a puzzle. You have words and rules and it takes time to learn that. I think your husband is totally right. He is now starting to learn real language, not rote learned language, and he is needing time to figure out how to put that puzzle together to get his point across. Like I said, when my son doesn't answer, it usually means that he hasn't gotten the time he needs to figure it out, and he never asks me to wait. It's not that he doesn't understand, it's that he has to take everything he has learned over the years and put it together in a meaningful response. Your son is learning, and this is a reflection of that learning. He is not spitting out a rote phrase, he's actually formulating a real answer with real language. As far as the sounding things out...he is taking what he is learning and trying to apply it. That is actually great news. He may not have articulation issues since he speaks very clearly, but he may have issues in other areas like language rythm where he rushes through words and subsequently drops sounds (prosidy). They may do that to slow him down, or they are teaching him to think words through. If they clap while he talks, that is what they are working on.

Imagine how hard it is to learn a foreign language. Imagine learning that foreign language with no primary language to translate from, and no knowledge of language rules. It is very hard, and very complex, and your child is very young, and this is a very long process. Personally I think your news is great. It shows that your child is actually making progress.

This is going to take a long time, years of speech maybe. My son has been in speech for 4 years now, and will proabably go another 4 before he is caught up. It's tough. Be patient, this is the beginning of a very long road.

Hang in there!

It's great that you and your husband have such good awareness and insights. I was just wondering, is he also learning the alphabet? If so, he might be connecting the sounds to the letters in his head.

MommyJones: THANK YOU SO MUCH! Sometimes I let my worries blind me to any progress he's made or making. Thank you so much for your perspective. It makes so much sense! I also tend to be very impatient and want to see progress right away, I often have to tell myself that this IS going to be a long road and take it as it comes. I have been worrying about this for a while, I wish I would have posted sooner. My husband is very patient and what he says makes a lot of sense, but it is nice to hear from other parents as well.

Duke666: Thank you! He does know the "Alphabet song", but they could be working on the alphabet in preschool. I didn't think about that, but he could be.

I appreciate your responses!! !!

Something else to consider is ear infections, which sometimes lurk quietly, reducing hearing without causing any pain or discomfort. I went through this, actually losing my hearing on and off between ages 4 and 6 (shortly after I started speaking, ironically). I simply couldn't hear when people were speaking to me, so appeared to be ignoring them. When the ear infections cleared up, my speech returned to baseline.

Two things came to mind. One was a post here on WP where the parents were worried because their son wasn't learning the alphabet, and finally the kid looked exasperated and recited the whole alphabet perfectly.

The other was a couple of months ago I went camping with a friend and his 3.5 year old son, named Tioga. Coincidentally, the model name of my backpack was also Tioga. He was sounding out letters of everything he saw, so he sounded out the letters on my backpack. "T-Ti...O....G-Ga......Ti-O-Ga.." Then he looked confused, and then happy, and announced "Tioga !". It was the first time he had deciphered his name.

NT kids make it obvious. Aspie kids do it in their heads, so you never know what's going on. But something is.

NT kids make it obvious. Aspie kids do it in their heads, so you never know what's going on. But something is.[/quote]


OH my Gosh....that is soooo true!

One more thing...

Enjoy the language development...it's easy to teach language to a child. When you get to social skills and anxiety you will realize how easy you have it now

My speech changed when I learned to read... From repeating phrases to making up new sentences, from imitated casual speech to formal but original constructions... I might have seemed to regress; I don't know. My mom didn't notice anything in particular; only I remember making sentences in my head, carefully, and it is probably pretty atypical to do it that way, certainly different from picking out a sentence from appropriate canned phrases.