HATRED FROM ANOTHER MEMBER

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Unless the moderators would like to step in and moderate this dispute, I'm leaving. I cannot believe that:

1. My belief that a bloody avatar is inappropriate for this site would cause somebody to go off on me on at least 2 threads. He started a second thread called "Rage" specifically to rant about how much he hates me. This should not be tolerated.

2. I cannot believe that the moderators would think his avatar appropriate.

First, I would advise taking a minute to relax, and let TB Samurai do the same. I didn't see and personal attacks in his posts (admittedly I'm very tired). Also you should consider if the dispute that has become over his avatar stands to become less family friendly, or friendly to oter members than the avatar itsef. I would suggest you consider picking your battles here, and that you let this one go. It is certainly not a great avatar for the site, but it is my opinion that the attention being drawn to it from this dispute is greater than the attention it would otherwise receive since TB Samurai is not a high volume poster and the avatar really isn't any worse than kids TV now. Last of all, there is another avatar with blood in it that is a default avatar from the WP library, So Alex would have to create a double standard to forbid TB Samurai's avatar.

This is the default WP avatar:


I like your posts and I would like to see you stay though.

He didn't mention you by name, nor did he say he hates you. He just said that he hates it when people censor him and is upset because someone on WP is giving him a hard time over his choice of avatar. Starting this thread to complain about that thread is only going to escalate the problem.

Personally, I think his avatar is harmless. As far as I'm concerned, there are much more objectionable images on here but that's usually a matter of individual taste. When I don't like something I just use the FireFox "Adblock" extension to hide it. That's much easier and less aggravating than getting into an argument and trying to coerce other people to do what I want.

Threatening to leave WP seldom accomplishes anything, and actually leaving never does....

Thanks Sean for your well considered post. I was going to drop it until I saw his thread entitled "RAGE". If you saw my first post about it, I was very polite. He's taken it way too far.

Just learn to ignore it if You have a problem with the avatar.

There is another possibility: since at this rate nothing will come of this dispute as evidenced by the decisions you have already heard, what if you let the issue cool off a couple days and then work out a deal through the moderators or diectly (whatever works) for TB Samurai to change his avatar to something slightly less graphic, But still TB related? Also Jetson's suggestion about firefox might be a good idea. Should you use it, I'll try to help you get it configured.

Sorry to hear about your problem with another WP member. I do agree that some avatars may be in questionable taste. Then again, some of the content on this site could be considered rather tasteless as well. It’s something subjective and I’ve learned to be broad-minded about such things.
I hope that you stay around; your posts are some of the most interesting.

Aylissa:
I hope you will not leave the website either. Avatars are supposed to reflect people's feelings, so they aren't always politically correct. I occasionally use cuss words, but I always bleep them (and I know that if I don't, the website programming will do it for me). I also express controversial statements, and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. It'd be a boring old world if everyone agreed with everyone else, eh? So please--do stay.

That really is the best advice possible

Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean that I'm attacking you. I needed to rant because I was very ticked off. To me, it's more than just an avatar. If you don't like it, just do what was suggested and download FireFox so you can block images that you don't like.

Anything can offend someone. An avatar of someone eating a hamburger can offend someone from India who believes that cows are sacred and it could also offend a PETA member.

I agree that the avatar in question is too graphic for a site considered "family friendly". Blood streaming from someone's mouth is pretty gross. (not to mention creepy) This does not mean that the person who chose the avatar is a bad person or anything less than anyone else.
Also, I am surprised at some of the content on this site since it is called a "family friendly" site. (I'm guilty,too) Of course that's why there's a "Mature Forum". I do think, though, that the moderator's could be a little more assertive. Adhering to a common standard of decency is not to be confused with censorship.
As to the reference of the questionable avatar being no worse than today's cartoons or comics for kids, that's why I definately censor what my kid's watch and read. I want them to grow up with a healthy, life-centered, positive attitude, not a destructive, gruesome or grotesque outlook.
There does seem to be alot of attacking on this site. I myself counter-attacked someone who was attacking me. The strange thing is, everyone seems to think that this is okay while at the same time complaining about how NTs have bullied and attacked them all of their life. I challenge those who have been bullied to not become like their tormentors.

Why is the blood in his avatar so offensive, horrifying, or disturbing?

Bleeding from the mouth like that makes me imagine that he is probably injured internally in a possibly lethal way. But that is a big assumption. And there is nothing really graphic about that picture. All you see is a little fluids running down the sides of his mouth. No tissue damage. It could be ketchup for all you know.

Being distractingly disturbed by the mere sight of a bit of blood is rare. Tons of blood is more common, and tissue damage disturbs a lot of people.

Thank you, Nomaken. Your avatar may be offensive to some because it's kinda freaky looking, but no one complains about that, and you've had it for a long time.

And like someone else said, one of the default WrongPlanet avatars also has blood on it. If they allow that and not allow my avatar, that would be pretty messed up.

haha yeah Nomaken's avatar does kinda freak me out occasionally, but not so bad that I'd want to block it or complain or anything

And that's not blood anyway ! It's only tomato juice !

*sigh*

1 - a graphic image is called graphic for a reason. Saying things like "he doesn't post much," "we'd have to censor the default avatars too," "go get Foxfire," or "it's no worse than kids' TV" are all fallacious positions. It remains what it is, regardless to what B.S. you smear on it. Psychologically, it's well known that graphic images effect the mind is more immediate, more distressing and more intense ways than graphic words. This should be considered more the case with people who are psychologically vulnerable (including kids and teens, who are allowed to participate here) or visually domiant thinkers (as many Aspies and autistics are). This has nothing to do with being "PC" beause it is not about about morality, but about the possibility of causing someone distress on a psychological level.

2 - just because X is someone's interest and obsession or is "very important" to him or her, doesn't necessiate that person exercising a sense of entitlement over against the larger group. Participation in a community or group requires some degree of self-filtering. If members are allowed to participate who refuse to self-filter for the sake of cooperation and respect for the larger group, you can only expect this to alienate and ostracize other members, regardless to how you spin or who you blame. A willful lack of self-filtering is essentially psychological bullying, and like any bullying, the act of passively allowing it has a very broad influence over others and the overall social environment.

I'm actually pretty sympathetic towards Aylissa. I do think that she is being indirectly attacked, but not just by TB Samuri, but by everyone who's failing to see what's really going on here. We have a member that is distressed by the environment created here, and no one's seriously considering if this is the kind of environment WP ought have. No one's cosnidering that maybe there's been others alienated by this and perhaps others who have already left. But unlike Alyssia, just assumed that "This is how WP is" and rather than p*ss off the status quo, just didn't bother to say something before leaving.

I don't think the mods ought censor TB Samuri, but I do think he needs to be "big" about this and consider making more of an effort to be less rigid, reactionary and self-serving. He's purposefully obfuscating Alyssia's original criticism - a criticism of one image in a specific context - and making it into an overall personal attack, which I don't see is the actual case. I feel TB Samuri is off the mark there, and needs to recognize the difference and that there is certainly opportunity here to be more cooperative without having to deny what is meaningful to him.

Furthermore, his insistance that "this is important to me" only strengthen my feeling that it's more about entitlement to do as he pleases rather than it being a necessary element of his ongoing interests. I understand most of us, including myself, come to this forum with many negative experiences of being criticized, ridiculed and ostracized for being different, but that shouldn't mean we get a free pass to do whatever we want here. Rather I think we should take this as an opportunity to learn cooperative skills and make progress in our personal development in a more forgiving and understanding social environment.