Hi Everyone,
I was recently reffered to this community by an online contact with undiagnosed AS. Over the last year I have had my suspicions about AS of my own, but recently through reading forums and blogs of aspergers, I am fairly certain. Everyones stories, veiws, and troubles are far too similar to mine to ignore as coincidence. The coping measures are simply uncanny.
This has come more as a releif to me. Ive always been facinated with the human creature, and social interaction, but have had very little luck in participating. This revelation has given me a better hope to be able to manage my shortfalls, and live more productivly alongside the majority of people who dont think the way I do.
I am not certain I want to seek a diagnosis at this point. The thought of opening that door carries alot of uncertainty as to how others will view me, and what effects it might have on my proffessional life. Im also not interested in a cure or anything like it. I Like Who I Am, very much. Im not looking to join the rest of the world, just to peacefully live alongside it.
It makes me wonder how I got into the career path I have chosen, but better explains some of the strengths I posses that others do not seem to, as well as some of the troubles. I work in hospitality, managing a restaurant. While many of you may find the interaction overwhelming (and I do, alot!), Ive developed alot of "acting skills", as well as learned a few different "formulas" (what i call them) for acheiving the interaction I want. Often I feel it comes off as fake, as the conversation has been scripted in my head, and I simply wait for the guest to fill in the blanks.
Dealing with staff has been difficult over the last year since I took this job. Often im described as uncaring, and I often need staff to literally spell out their needs and wants exactly. I cant describe the frustration of walking through my busy restaurant only to have 6 people calling my name asking for 8 different things. I often have to be reminded. My staff is good though, we've worked together and they know to remind me if I havent gotten back to their question in 10 minutes (ive probably forgotten).
The funny thing is I love my job, and my career, despite the obvious problems.
I just wanted to say Hi, I look forward to joining some discussions, and Im hoping to find others who think like me that work in management, share my experiances and methods, and hopefully learn some new ones.
07 Sep 2009, 8:10 am
