Problems keeping a job

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This may have been posted before, I dunno...I'm still fresh to this site. But my problem is...

I have never held the same job for more than a year. Something always seems to happen that gets in the way. Sometimes it's not my fault--my car breaking down so I can't deliver food anymore, or I moved out of the state--but a lot of times it is my fault--I'm going to list some examples here. Feel free to not read them if you don't want to.

1) Kroger (grocery store): I worked there for 2 weeks. My coworkers were some of the most obnoxious and sorry excuses for human beings ever. Just mean and nasty to each other and me, who they hardly knew. Also, I had to stand all 5 hours, and it was exhausting. This was my first paying job. I quit because the difficulties became way too much for me to handle without stressing out and getting really anxious before each shift.

2) Pacific Sunwear (retail): I worked at the location in Virginia for a full year, but then I moved out to Utah. Once in Utah, I got a job at the PacSun here, and worked 1 day before I quit. It was a bad situation--I knew the job, so I knew that I was being given the crap tasks that nobody else wanted to do. I was new so I couldn't argue. It wasn't fun like the job back in VA was. I called in sick the following day, (a Saturday) and the manager told me I had to come in anyway, that I could just go throw up in the back room or something. I said I couldn't do that, and he told me he would be writing me up for this. I quit right then, over the phone.

3) Teleperformance USA (call center): I worked for Sprint, taking customer calls. I was only there a few months. The job was not all that it promised to be (as most jobs aren't), and working behind the scenes really gave me a knowledge of how crummy Sprint really is. I started having difficulties with being the employee they wanted me to be--I couldn't lie to the customers, and started agreeing with them that Sprint was terrible, and gave them refunds where I felt they deserved them. This wasn't why I was released, because nobody knew about that. What happened was that I was going home to Virginia for Christmas and needed to file a special paper for vacation time, and my supervisor kept promising and then forgetting to get the paper for me, and finally it was time and I just had to go. I explained to my supervisor that I was going to be gone for the rest of the month, but nevertheless, when I returned, my security card no longer worked to get me into the building. I didn't put up a fight to get the job back since I hated it at that point anyway.

4) Clark Planetarium: I worked here for 11 months. I loved this job. The location assignments rotated, to where one day you could be working the gift shop, or the theater, or concessions, or the info desk, and it changed depending on where the manager put you that day. The variety was a perfect fit for me. I get sick of the same old thing day in and day out. It worked for me, until I was assigned to work in the gift shop, one of the most boring jobs, for several weeks straight. I'm not sure why. I began to get bored and disillusioned. As a result, I started caring less about the job, and lightly carved a picture of a robot into the counter. It was a ridiculous situation--the counter was already covered in carvings and scratches--but I still got in trouble, and not only that, the guy who reported me also reported me to the security guard and since it is a County-run facility, I nearly got charged with a class-C misdemeanor for vandalism, and was going to have to replace the entire counter top at a cost of $4,000. Luckily I plead not guilty and after three separate court dates, the judge threw the case out because he saw it for the farce it was. Anyway, this just highlighted the trouble I can get into when I get bored with a job.

5) Pax-N-Relax chemical fertilizer (receptionist): Worked here around 3 months. This was a job I got through a temp agency, and the manager seemed to take an instant dislike to me. She never trained me properly for my duties, and so most of my time was spent surfing the internet or reading. The jobs piled up because I had no idea what she wanted me to do, and I had asked her a few times before but she was too busy to help at those times, so I had given up on asking her. Finally one day she came in and completely humiliated me by telling me I was incredibly lazy and a terrible employee and sat on my ass all day doing nothing and getting paid $10/hr for it...she basically did the same thing, except she had a company car and was paid considerably more to sit in her office and talk with her friends all day. Anyway, she sent me home immediately. I collected my last paycheck at the temp agency, avoiding all eye contact, holding back tears, and refusing their offers to find me another job.

6) Thrifty Car Rentals (kiosk agent): I worked here for about 6 months. I was hired as a kiosk agent in the airport garage, but started out my training in a different location...they trained me to handle customer contracts and rent the cars out as a desk agent. I was promised that same job after I worked in the kiosk for a while, they just needed me to cover for their short staffing for a month or so. I worked that initial desk job for the first month, and then the rest of the time was spent in the kiosk, working 8 hour shifts with no breaks and no lunch because there was nobody to watch the booth for me. I was sexually harrassed on a nearly daily basis by the guys driving the rental cars to and from base. The owner of the location only stopped by to criticize my work, never paying attention to all the good I was doing, merely focusing on any failures I had--such as missing a crack in a windshield when checking a car back in, or sleeping through my alarm clock because I was so exhausted from the job the day before, and getting to work 15 minutes late. This job made me start cutting myself with razor blades...I even did it at work once, locking up the booth to go to the bathrooms in the terminal to cut myself open and then bandage it up again. I couldn't talk to HR about anything because HR was the owner's son. It was one of the darkest periods in my life. I was finally let go because I slept 3 hours past the time my alarm clock went off--this was a loud alarm clock, right next to my head, and it went off all right, I just literally slept through it.

So basically, I haven't been able to keep a job for more than a year. The only exception is my current job, which I have kept because I'm employed by my dad's company. But I don't get enough hours to survive anymore, so I am forced to go out looking for a second job.

I have applied to tons of places, but since I don't have a car, it all has to be within walking distance so it limits my options. I'm scared to get a new job, because I'm scared I won't last. Nobody is hiring, and I have to wonder if it has something to do with my resume showing that I haven't had a job that lasted.

I'm kind of at the end of my rope--I only have enough money to do 1 more load of laundry, but I have 2...I don't have any money for groceries, and my food supply is rapidly dwindling...my parents can't help out because they just declared bankruptcy and barely have enough money for themselves. So I am really stressing out about getting a job, and it's being made worse by the fact that the stress is giving me a terrible breakout, which doesn't look good for interviews.

Also I am really trying to avoid getting a job where they serve food because sometimes I get really nauseous randomly and food smells can incapacitate me.

Any suggestions? :/

Oh I know exactly how what you have been through feels. I don't think that is anything to do with us personally, but more to do with the system and the people that run it. I took great exception to being told how to do a job that I had been doing for the past 9 years and know how to do all my life because of family involvement, by a stick up little teenager manager that had been in the job less than a few months.
The advice I have been given is to try and do a job that doesn't involve or has little interactions with others.

I am now 38 and still trying to find and keep a decent job that pays enough to live by.

Not been quite as bad as you've had it, but my chief problems was sticking with something that bored me. The first job I had more than one years was a grocery store job, and because I was working towards a career in law enforcement (which never happened), I knew I needed to keep a consistent job or look like a total looser.

It wasn't a "bad" place to work. I probably had some of the nicest co-workers and supervisors I ever worked with, but BORING was the word. At one point I asked to be taken off the cash register because bagging groceries, getting carts from the lot and so forth was more interesting. However, when I saw what I thought was greener pastures, I moved on and went back to bouncing from one job to another again.

I've done data entry work for more than a year, but that was mostly because it was the ONLY job to do, and the practical reality of having to support myself mandated that I not quit unless I had something to replace the income coming in.

I've now been at my current job for over 5 years. Most of that is the fact that nothing better has come along, but it is also very helpful that I like who I work with (we get along well...a big "benefit"). I need something better than what I have now, but with the economy the way it is, it is an employer's market...they can pick the best of the best (never me) and there is a lot of competition for the few better jobs out there.

Job disconnect topic

You do not always get the job you want.

I have had 40 different jobs in 12 years. I have been let go from 38 of them. Only two I left to go to other jobs that had a few more hours per week and paid somewhat more than minimum wage. Then I was laid off these.

I had a family to support, so I was frantically trying to hang on to what I had. In the end I ended up on unemployment insurance and finally disability payments. I lost my home of 13 years and went into subsidized housing. (This is fine but I would have rather kept my house, and I tried very hard for ten years to hang on to it singlehandedly.)

Many young people are disillusioned with the jobs they get, whether aspie or NT. The only other solution is to get a higher education/apprenticeship or armed forces, if you can tolerate it. At age 24, you have options I did not have when I was your age. I am a Boomer but one of the Generation Jones variety and when I was trying to get my first job, I was in competition with many of my age. Two hundred applying for the same job, and they would choose only those with college education, good references, excellent people skills, and those who were single without children. In those days affordable day care was even harder to find than it is now.The unemployment rate for me and my cohort was 16%! ! Apprenticeships and the armed forces were not an option for a single parent with a small child, either, and yes I tried to get into both. Now I am in competition with very young and mostly NTs who do not have problems fitting in or information processing challenges, that have always hindered keeping 95% of my jobs.

Good luck as you are going to need it.

Hi, adopted. Wow, it sounds like you've had some struggles over the years; the wrong job environment can really darken a person's life. I know when I worked at CHDC, a facility for people with MR, I felt very alone and underappreciated most of the time. Wiping butts and lifting people onto slabs to take baths ended up hurting my back, and the people I worked with were often loud and obnoxious. (Although I did have some good converstations late at night, when most of the people had left for the day. I was given the shift no one wanted, which lasted until 11 pm at night). I quit that job after three months, because people wouldn't work with me on getting the shift I wanted.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time; hopefully in the end you'll find a job that will pay well and will be tolerable for you to do. Sometimes talking to supervisors can help if you're concerned with which duties you've been allocated, although I recognize that some supervisors are douch nozzles and there's nothing you can do about it. Are there any job counseling agencies where you are? I went to the job counselor at my school, and I found a job working part time at a psychiatric facility for teenage girls. I've been there for a year and five months, and for the most part I love it. Although I've had my struggles and HAVE thought about quitting, this is by far the best job I've had.

Asperger Syndrome is a disability - a handicap - and this is the primary reason why. We don't think the same way most people do and frankly, neurotypical people - particularly the personality types who gravitate toward middle-management jobs - are extremely intolerant of anyone who can't follow a specific protocol and behave exactly like everybody else. They feel they can't control things in the workplace if there's too much variety in the way things are being done - it makes them feel panicky and confused and they get quite agitated by any worker who has to find an alternate route to the final destination.

Unfortunately, Aspies often can't do things the way the NTs do them and we have to find our own methods to accomplish certain tasks. Often our way may be more efficient (at least for us), but that doesn't matter. It's not the prescribed method, therefore it's wrong.

Combine that with our tendencies to avoid the social conventions of the workplace and coworkers may distrust or dislike us because we seem distant or aloof.

And on top of it all - the really big problem - we can't stay focused on anything that doesn't captivate us. If we can't develop an obsession about it, it becomes boring to the point of psychological torture.

These are the reasons why we tend to go through job after job, most lasting not much more than a year apiece (and those are the ones we actually like - for a while). It's debilitating, its depressing and its a long walk to nowhere. While the people around us are building 401Ks and earning pensions to secure a stable future, we're floundering from month to month and living on unemployment about 50 percent of the time.

Like sartresue, I struggled for years to keep my head above water, with no idea why I couldn't achieve the kind of stability and success that my own sister and her yuppie husband enjoyed. Finally, after 35 years primarily in one career that eventually played out into nothing, I tried switching to another field only to be barred from my goal by another cranky jackass who knowingly discriminated against my disability - thanks to him I can't even ply my trade to supplement my SSDI.

I know there are Aspies who are fortunate enough to find a livelihood that suits their obsessions and enjoy long and fruitful careers. I hope they have enough executive function to solidify that into a reliable nest egg for retirement. Not all of us are so lucky.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm glad I finally found out what my problem was and got diagnosed, otherwise I'd have ended up homeless. And just in time - once you pass a certain age, nobody wants to hire you, disability or not - because they're afraid any potential age-related health problems you might develop will raise their insurance rates.

That post terrifies me Willard. I often wonder what things will be like when I'm 50+ as I only seem to last about 2 years in a job.

I once overheard a conversation between two managers about me after I had quit with one saying to the other
"I know he's a **** but we can't let him leave. Who would do his projects".
I work as a software developer so it's difficult to replace me therefore I don't get fired. I get tolerated to a degree.

Do you find people get less tolerant of you as you get older?

You're very lucky to have fond a niche that makes you difficult to replace. I worked for years in an industry where there were always people waiting in the wings to take your job.

I can't say anyone became less tolerant over time. Those types who were d**kheads in the beginning continued to be so - it was always a specific type of personality, and always the ones who occupied middle management positions. Not smart enough to run the company, but ambitious enough to Lord it over their peers.

My peers - the people I worked side-by-side with in the trenches every day I got along with pretty well. A few of them were the petty, back-biting sort you see on Survivor and Big Brother shows today, who never outgrew that behavior from high school, but most were fine. The people who I worked with, rather than answered to, seem to like me and respect my abilities, as they voted me award after award for excellence in my field over the years.

Colleagues were great - bosses sucked.

There is a social negotiation I do not fully understand. The closest I came was when I was a manager of a university copy center. The Xerox technician would often negotiate with us that the machine couldn't really do something and that we were therefore being somewhat unreasonable. If he was successful, this was viewed as a successful service call.

A lot of business is conducted that way. A lot of things in general are conducted that way. And if it's something like deciding where to eat, the process is more important than the end result.

But in technical things, it kind of matters to get it right! So, with the Xerox tech, I decided, be goodnatured, offer the guy water, tell him why it's important to us that the machine be able to do this, briefly and matter-of-factly. And occasionally, if it's a side path task, that you're not going to need to do hardly ever again and you were able to limp through it, agree with him. Just don't make a habit of it. (The biggest issue was photocopying and stapling cardstock covers, which was something we did need to do on a regular basis.)

There is a trend in American business that a good manager can run any business. Perhaps so, but you do need to jump in there and actually learn the nuts and bolts! Until then, you can encourage your people to play their best game, ask them 'What do you think we should do?' 'How much risk is that?' and then feel-and-texture whether that's a medium step forward and medium feedback, or too much risk. You can do something, as a good coach, but again, it helps to know the actual business.

Dave Thomas of Wendy's prided himself on being a good grillman. I think that kind of attitude is less common than it used to be.



I tried to get into C++ programming back in '99 and 2000. What I decided is that the field is clumpily chaotic, rather like the early universe was clumpily chaotic and that was where galaxies first formed. And something genuinely chaotic is not going to be evenly chaotic. And so, in a new fast-developing business, it's likely to be under-controlled in some areas and over-controlled in others. And apparently in computer science, the human resource types have been very successful in convincing the entrepreneurs that hiring is hard and you can easily get sued.

The upshot is that you have nontechnical people hiring for technical positons and the only thing they look at, and I mean the ONLY thing, is years of corporate experience. And when you have a portfolio of work and can field technical questions, yeah, that's a somewhat frustrating situation to find oneself in (just a little bit!).

One good piece of advice I heard, try and find the actual project manager, but go ahead and send a copy of your resume to human resources anyway, so you will not be asking the manager to do an end-around. And then, if you can get this manager on the phone, you can ask, 'I've already sent a copy of my resume to human resources. May I send you a copy also?'

And I am open to other good advice.

That's a manager who simply isn't very good.

And looking back on the day before, if he inherited a hazing situation where employees felt, hey, I put in my dues, the new people should, too, then he should have artfully worked to soften it. He should have been low-key and effectively low-key. 'We ask the new employees to do the basic task so that . . . ' And he should have made sure that this didn't get carried away.

And it sounds like he wasn't even aware. Speculating a little, he sounds like the disengaged boss who occasionally lashes out.