What is the Best Type of School for Aspies?

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Our district has:

Neighborhood schools - typical public school setting
Option schools - "...offer a particular educational focus such as highly structured programs, experiential learning or technical training."
Charter schools - public school operated by a group of parents, teachers, and/or community members, here is where you will find Montessori type schools
Special schools and programs - "...programs for advanced students, technical programs, alternative education, programs for special education students..."
Private schools - I don't know much about these, except they seem to be associated with organized religion
Homeschooling -

I often consider switching schools for my 14 yr old Aspie son who is currently enrolled in a neighborhood public school. But I don't know enough about other school types. Plus I am hesitant to switch schools because I'm not sure this would be helpful, plus it seems like a big, long-term decision. Kind of like "no turning back."

I would especially like to hear from Aspies on this question. Thanks in advance.

DO NOT put him in special ed. Homeschooling is very very effective tho

There is a mixed blessing to homeschooling - the lack of other children.

This might initially solve any bullying issues or relieve social uncomfortableness,
but by removing these the child will never learn to deal with them.
So it is removing the symptom not the problem.

Unless you can afford to consider a private school simply for academics' sake, there's nothing wrong with public school. Don't treat the kid like he's defective. I made it through 12 years of public school in three different states - had friends, got bullied, eventually dated, albeit awkwardly (nobody told me I had AS and dating was impossible for young Aspies, so I just did it - hope that doesn't invalidate my DX).

He might need a tutor from time to time. I sure could have used some help in math. Other than that, don't make him feel like he's any different than anyone else. When he's an adult, he's gonna have to live in the same world as everybody else, might as well get used to it now. Really, it'll be fine.

Some pro's and con's by type:

Neighborhood schools - typical public school setting
Pro: legal requirement to provide appropriate education for every child. However, it really depends on the school if this will translate to appropriate services for your unique child, and it depends on the culture of the school community if the environment can be positive instead of toxic. One thing they can never change is sheer size, and that wreaks havoc with the sensory issues of many spectrum kids.


Option schools - "...offer a particular educational focus such as highly structured programs, experiential learning or technical training."
You will have to research the particular schools available to determine if their unique balance would benefit your child. No cookie cutter answer here. Pay attention to services and culture.

Charter schools - public school operated by a group of parents, teachers, and/or community members, here is where you will find Montessori type schools
I love the idea of a Montessori environment for my son, but I haven't tried it; here the Montessi is private and insanely expensive. Again, you would have to research. I don't know how well charters are doing on providing the services our kids need, but you do have a chance at finding an environment that has less sensory problems, and the school culture is going to be unique (which can be a pro or con).

Special schools and programs - "...programs for advanced students, technical programs, alternative education, programs for special education students..."
It will depend. Sometimes these are great, sometimes they are horrible. Research the particular schools and programs that are open to you.

Private schools - I don't know much about these, except they seem to be associated with organized religionThe biggest con here is that they have no mandate to do anything special for your child at all, since they are not publicly funded. For that reason, most aren't good choices for special needs children. But, then, you can find jewels among them when there is a private school that has decided there is a need and is choosing to address it. I wouldn't rule out a school just because it has a religious affiliation, but I wouldn't rule one in for that reason, either. Culture and flexibility vary a lot. In my county we have an amazing private special needs school, and also a Waldorf school, that many AS kids find apealing; while there are no services, sometimes the smaller class size or differently styled curriculum ends up fitting the spectrum child more naturally. We have an excellent Catholic school system and I know one parent who has their AS child in it simply because the schools are so much smaller, but there is also a lot more politics involved and quality varies. So, its back to research, research, research.

Homeschooling -
This is probably the most popular non-public school option on this board. No bullying, no sensory overload, and a curriculum completely tailored to your unique child. But no services of any kind, either, or experts to bounce things off of.

You can always turn back. And don't let the fear of change (which is hard on our kids) keep you from leaving a bad situation for a better one. Every child, including ours, can and should be happy learning. Finding the situation that meets that and balances the other needs in your family isn't easy, but needs to be done if things aren't working as they should. I stuck out a poor pre-school situation and have vowed to never, ever, do that to myself and my child again.

Thanks eveyrone, I really appreciate the ideas.

Willard: his academic goal is to graduate high school. That's his goal for his reasons, we're not forcing it on him. The problem is that his current school doesn't appear to be able help him accomplish that goal, and one option we have is to switch schools. We view this as a big decision, so I am trying to gather intelligence. Your opinion and the opinions of other Aspies could help a really beautiful and talented young man succeed. So may I ask: from your post, it sounds like you were in many different schools. Which type of school did you find the most rewarding? Thank you so much.

DW thanks for the wisdom. I'm not afraid of making a change when one is needed, I just don't want to go "from the frying pan into the fire." Your post is really helpful, Thanks.

Well...I did the first half of HS in Fort Worth, Texas, where the HS was like a small college campus. On one hand, I was free to disappear into the anonymity of the crowd, but it was a little lonesome at times. I did, however, love the fact that that school had an extensive arts program. I was able to have some sort of art class on my schedule every trimester, which made the drier academic stuff easier to swallow (and designing and making costumes and sets for huge stage productions did put me into some social situations which was good for me). Also, because of the school's size, I was able to get put into a small, specialized class with a wonderful teacher who was the only instructor I ever met who could actually make algebra seem to make sense.

The last two years I attended a HS in a small town in Alabama. The academic standards were extremely high and I can't fault them on their abilities to teach the 3 Rs, but there was no art program of any kind except for a Humanities class taught by a crabby old French woman. On the other hand, the people of that small town were among the warmest, friendliest human beings it has been my pleasure to know. So there's good to be had in any situation, I suppose. I can't say which was best - maybe it was actually healthier for me because of my AS, to have experienced both.

I´m going to say unschooling. Basically homeschooling without the curriculum and the child decides what and how to learn the parent simply helps out with what they decide to learn. That way they can explore their interests and be happy with that and learn other things as well. Probably have to get some kind of social interaction though weather homeschooling groups or somethign.

The child will never learn to deal with social abuse anyway. There is no excuse for exposing any child to social abuse.

Both of those points are equally ridiculous. Who the hell says Aspies can't learn how to deal with these social occurrences. Also, some would argue that *some* exposure is better than no exposure. Early exposure is better than later exposure, in that there is more time to learn coping strategies and effective ways of dealing with certain situations.

So let's suppose a child, particularly a child with ASD, never sets foot in a public school in their lifetime. They've avoided to social aspect. What exactly happens when said child is on their own in the world, and has no idea how to handle certain situations? Some exposure is far better than no exposure.

As DW Mom said there are huge variations in each of these types of schools so you will need to look into individual schools. In my view, the single most important thing that you must ensure is that the school you choose will not permit him to be bullied or abused by other students. Apart from that, find the program that best suits his needs. If sensory issues are a problem (likely), smaller is always better. If he stays at the local school, tutors are perhaps an option if they are needed.

Families on this board who homeschool have done a good job of teaching their children the social skills they will need; they've long had me convinced that lack of socialization as a potential downside really isn't an issue. There isn't anything to argue over on this question, because there is no one answer that fits all. So many factors come into play, and its all been addressed in other threads. We've got to trust that each parent knows what will - and will not - work for their unique child and family.

my wife and I were both in small private schools (10-15 ppl per class- school had maybe 200 students k-12), at a point my wife went to a really small boarding school that she really liked. The reason I liked the school I was in was because I rarely felt like I asked a 'stupid' question, and in the end I had the confidence to go to university. Our daughters (also on the spectrum) both liked different things, the introvert (the one we used to call the closet monster because she rarely left her room) was happy to be in the large public high school because she loved being in band, our more extroverted daughter preferred online schooling, although she is more extroverted she could not handle the cliques and politics, so I guess what I am saying is its different for us all and hopefully your child will let you know what does and does not work and wont just internalize everything

I agree, and I am not against homeschooling at all. However, the poster whom I quoted said (at least how I interpreted it) that avoiding social interactions like that altogether, and that Aspies could not learn, is certainly not the best way to go about doing things. Aspies (NT's too) can only learn if you give them the chance to learn.

But they also have to be ready to learn the particular skill at issue.

ANYWAY

I think I was remarking more about the whole direction the discussion was taking than any one comment in it; we could spend hours clarifying the points hinted at in the few sentences posted on the issue in this thread and I was rather hoping simply not to go down that road.