Son doesn't even want to try talking to other AS kids

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I just told my AS son about the Kid's Crater section, dragged him off off his Nintendo DS to do it, he looked for 30 seconds and said "Why would this help? It's stupid." I explained it would be great to talk to kids who have the same fears as him (e.g. the fear that we don't know the route of our travel, the fear that Mummy will be killed if she drives etc.) and he said "Asperger's. Sounds like hamburgers". I laughed and said "That's funny. You could post that, maybe other AS kids will like that" and he said "No, I don't want to talk to anyone. Ever". And went back to his DS.

I'm getting so exasperated. Does your son/daughter do this? He's had counselling and he walks in and tells the counsellor (we've had 4 so far) "Everything's fine, I fear nothing."

I wish he'd talk to other kids. I've suggested the e-pal idea, he says that's stupid.

Sounds familiar. How old is your son?

I've tried to get my 14 yr old to try communicating via WP, but he's been reluctant. Patience, it seems, is one of my life lessons that I have to keep learning over and over and...

sinsboldy (sinsbadly!!) is spot on!! ! I was like that when young, too. (probably a good thing for me, that the NDS hadn't been invented back then)

It may help if somehow he think's it's *his* idea - so you have to lead him in the direction you want him to go by not overtly leading him at all . (this works with my senior NT managers, too. As their ideas are the only acceptable ones, the art is making my idea seem like their idea...)

The NDS is significant. Maybe he would like to read or post about that? The NDS is so popular, maybe someone will have posted something about the NDS that may get his attention. Maybe he disagrees with someone's opinion on a game and they need to be corrected?

The above may not be exactly what's needed, it's more the general principle. The key is not to emphasise the "social interaction" as the primary goal. Quite the opposite: keep that out of the picture. Try focussing on a subject he is interested in and use gaining knowledge in that as the aim, but to achieve that would be helped by a post on WP, for example. (let him think he's working it out for himself, though, so he does it when he's ready)

Maybe this is rotten, but how about something like, "well that's ok, WrongPlanet is probably too mature for you anyway. Maybe when you're 20, and old enough for it."

I don't understand why parents pressure their AS kids to talk to other kids with AS. I know I don't want to. WTF is the big deal?

LOL! Freudian slip? I hadn't realised that I typed "sinsbadly"! ! That has been my biggest smile of the weekend!

I'll keep trying with him, with trying to post on Kid's Crater. I said the same thing about NDS, maybe other boys have the same obsession (didn't use that word with him) as him, he didn't seem to care. "It's not going to help anything" he said.

I know, it will take time. I know.

I showed my son this site when I first found it and gave him permission to join but he had no interest, which was fine. I did not mention it again, much less pressure. He participates in another forum which is related to his own interest. He knows wp is here. I am sure if it because I showed him. That was over a year ago, so I guess he could be here and I do not even know it.

As a person with Asperger's and a parent not sure what you can do, all you can do is encourage them to make friends and play. Or encourage their interests in the hope that it will allow them to make friends with similar interests. Whatever you do, do not baby them too much, allow them to take lifes knocks as well as the victories, it will help them in the long run to deal with the real world. I'm glad I had an understanding mother that helped me do that, I suspect she has Asperger's too.

My son figured out a while ago that the problem with other AS kids is that they are just as locked into their own interests as he is, so unless those interests are mostly the same, there is no way to connect. He likes knowing about what is "normal" for kids lke him, but he gets that information from me, and doesn't see any need to go further with it.

My son is also really comfortable in his own skin, so there is no missing piece he'd come here to figure out.

And, overal, men are less interested in forum style interactions than women are.

I wouldn't worry about it; I don't there is any good reason your son would HAVE to want to join in here.

I would advise patience.

I didnt start actually making cohesive writings until I was in college. Even in high school, I didnt like to write things down, and whenever I did try I did rather horribly at it. I only wrote my thoughts down on paper if I was forced to for an essay. I didnt keep a journal, make forum posts, write letters, or anything like that. And I must say that my writings from high school were rather horrible. They were erratic, poorly constructed, rambling, and hard to understand. I really dont know how I managed to pass all those English classes. I got a C or worse on every paper, and I think that was being generous.

It was only when I got to college that I actually started being able to translate my ideas into writing effectively. It was also around that time that I started making forum posts.

If your son is anything like me growing up, he struggles getting his thoughts down into words for essays, letters, forum posts, etc. And as such he probably isnt ready to start making his own posts yet. Just give him time.

He knows it's here. If he wants to visit, he'll visit. If he has no need to visit, he won't. You can't put the need in his head, it's there or it's not. I'd relax a bit, if it were me....

Yes, patience, which seems to be in short supply at times.

BTW @gramirez, it was his counsellor who suggested that he speak to other AS kids, not me.

Its not important for me that my son like or even participate in these forums or any activity, but I do feel its my responsibility to encourage him to try new things and new ways of expressing himself. Its kind of a family rule we have: you have to try new things at least once, you don't have to like it, and if you don't like it then you can move on.

I think the advice of patience is the soundest, but the irony for me is that patience seems to be the one life lesson I have to constantly re-learn.