Two dozen witty remarks on government

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1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
-- John Adams

2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
-- Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle .
-- Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-- G. Gordon Liddy

7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-- Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)

12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers

13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
-- P.J. O'Rourke

14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-- Voltaire (1764)

15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
-- Pericles (430 B.C.)

16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-- Mark Twain (1866)

17. Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-- Anonymous

18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan

19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-- Winston Churchill

20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-- Mark Twain

21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

22. There is no distinctly native American criminal class...save Congress.
-- Mark Twain

23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-- Thomas Jefferson


Enjoy!

ruveyn

"A witty saying proves nothing." -Voltaire

Two dozen witty remarks on life.

1. Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
-- Fran Lebowitz

2. Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
-- R.D. Laing

3. Life is just one damned thing after another.
-- Elbert Hubbard

4. It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.
-- Edna St. Vincent Mallay

5. Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
-- Woody Allen

6. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
-- Will Rogers

7. I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.
-- Garry Trudeau

8. Life is just a bowl of pits.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

9. I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me.
-- Chris Rapier

10. Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
-- Woody Allen

11. Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
-- Truman Capote

12. The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever.
-- Anatole France

13. I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
-- Oscar Wilde

14. Life is a long lesson in humility.
-- James M. Barrie

15. For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clinton Fadiman

16. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
-- Mark Twain

17. The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
-- Foster's Law

18. The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy.
-- Alfred North Whitehead

19. Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.
-- Thornton Wilder

20. Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
-- Paul Gaugin

21. If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer

22. Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
-- David Letterman

23. A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life.
-- Robertson Davies

24. That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....
-- Charles M. Schulz

Enjoy!

Witty sayings are for entertainment, not proof.

Were you entertained? I was.

ruveyn

I was too.

I agree with most of them. I might have said "all" if I had gone through each one carefully enough.

The government is a big target people like to poke fun at... and corporations. I guess it's the 'in' thing to joke about now that race & nationality are off-limits.

byw, ruveyn, entertaining indeed.

Some of the sayings were entertaining, others were not.

"The opposite of Progress is Congress." - Unknown (to me at least)

Bitterness is an acquired taste. When the choice lies between a private business culture that is actively trying to screw you out of as much money as it can squeeze out of you and a government that fumbles most of its attempts to run a country properly I feel safer amongst idiots than gangsters.

"We have 30 political parties in one country. We only need 1 party, OUR party. "
A. Hitler

Where are you from?

Sweden?

Alle Nazisten sind auf Schweden, ja?

I'll just agree with what a fellow class mate said in class today: "I wish Hitler was alive so I could strangle him!"

LOL, sorry Henriksson.

I shouldn't assume all Swedes are bad....