Do you think the reason for meltdowns matter?

Post Reply New Topic

I know some people don't think it should be taken into consideration when dealing with a child who is having one. Maybe this should be in another group for teachers or something but I'd like your opinions. I think it should be taken into consideration if someone is having a meltdown because of a changed schedule, too bright/loud a room, or just not getting what they want. I also think that if it's because of not getting what they want, that it is because in their mind, they had something planned and even if they didn't tell anyone what it was, when they didn't get it, then the result was like a schedule changed.

I hope that makes sense. I think prevention is important. And if you know the triggers, you can better prevent them both for yourself and others with Autism/Asperger's.

Not that it matters at work since I don't do the behavior plans and have to follow the plans. But that doesn't change that I think you should take into consideration what triggers a meltdown when dealing with it.

In general, a tantrum is thrown in order to get something, attention, a toy, dessert, getting to stay up late etc...
The reasons for tantrums are obvious - and usually you shouldn't give into terrorism.
Tantrums are almost always under the control of the tantrum-thrower - and they stop suddenly when the required item is provided.

Meltdowns and Shutdowns are completely different.
They occur outside of the control of the person having the meltdown, usually with no objective in mind and often with no obvious cause.
The causes of meltdowns and shutdowns aren't the same as the triggers. There are usually long term causes and short term triggers.

For example; a child who isn't allowed to participate in a game may have a meltdown. The trigger is not being allowed to play.
The cause is more likely to be a deep-rooted feeling of exclusion. The child may have been excluded on many other occasions.

The trigger of a shutdown may be that someone has the TV up too loud but the cause is possibly a general sensitivity to noise.

YES... It is critical that you get to the cause of meltdowns. There are often deep psychological things which need to be addressed.

Definitely. The reasons behind a meltdown could be effecting a child's learning, social behaviors, etc., even if they do not have one at that exact moment of the problem.

There have been numerous times I have had a meltdown during an argument... but it isn't because of arguing/debating, it's because of the wording used at the very start of it all so I'm unable to comprehend the meaning properly. My boyfriend used to say "I just can't talk to you about anything", because he didn't realize I was stuck on phrases like "you do this/that ALL OF THE TIME" rather than "some of the time". Or for instance, once I mentioned having my daughter evaluated since my son and I both have autism, and he said "I hope to God she doesn't have it... but if she did it would be okay." Well, half an hour later I was still trying to make sense of that part and wound up screaming and crying. Now he knows that he needs to pay close attention to the wording he uses when saying things, and to try not to say things that conflict so much, because I can't process it and it makes me distraught.

With my son, there are a lot of times he has them when he gets home from school, but when it comes down to it, at times, it's because of something that happened that morning and he didn't realize it was bothering him until something else happened that triggered the emotional response.

It drives me nuts because his school used to call me a LOT about his behavior, constantly insisting it was something I was doing at home, but he never had a meltdown at school. It was always when he got home from school, and always because he didn't think anyone would listen to him there so he just dwelled on it until he could come home and express it.

What a lot of people don't understand either, is when I think something is supposed to happen and it doesn't happen, my reaction is NOT because I want it to happen still, or that I'm demanding that it happen. My reaction is due to a "schedule" of how things were going to happen in my mind, and it simply didn't happen. It's a reaction of confusion and frustration, not me throwing a fit to get my way about anything.

I think that's exactly right, it's what happens in my head anyway. even simple things like when my mother called on me when I was going to make a cup of tea, because the 'cup of tea plan' is interrupted a mini meltdown would happen a few of those in a day would lead to full on meltdown.
Everything i do has one of those plans attached and if i'm interrupted it gets to me. I can get over it by expecting to be interrupted and trying not to plan everything just doing but it I can't do that all the time, seems unconscious most times.



this happens to me too, it's like it irks me because they don't speak the way I think or something. Relating to what was I said above having to decode someone's words or speach pattern wasn't what I was expecting, deviation from the plan, so a mini-meltdown occurs.

My Aspie son doesn't like the term meltdown. He says "If I had a meltdown, I wouldn't be here any more would I? I'd be melted"

Sometimes this literal thing can be funny!

Now if only family members and teachers could understand that knowing triggers is important. How do you prevent meltdowns or help people to not have them if you don't know why they're having them?

My meltdowns are crying spells and usually happen when someone is talking too fast for me to keep up or when someone is saying to do something but then they keep talking so I don't know whether to do it or to listen and then do it, especially if they change the topic. My meltdowns are usually short and in front of people. I also have shutdowns when I have been around people too much. Those are at home and longer. Usually I can still read but I have had them bad enough that I just lay there, unable to move.

Yes, because getting to the source of the cause can help prevent future meltdowns.

I always get help when something bugs me. I call my mom or my best friend. I then work through my feelings. It greatly prevents melt downs.

man, you just described what happens to me. I think this is why I get way less done than I know I can when stressful things are going on. even if they're in the background, I feel paralyzed because I might get a phone call or email that will turn my life upside down. I'd like to be able to change this.

I'm able to spot my son going into meltdown mode better now, just by knowing what overwhelms him. we've been able to divert quite a few in the last year, and he's learned to use "options" to get himself out of the space that's overwhelming him. it doesn't always work because he can't always control his environment, but it works enough that he's building better habits so instead of melting down, he removes himself from situations.

I'm starting to figure out what mine are, too, so I get to meltdown point less often. my ex loves to push people to meltdown (power trip) so disassembling that cause has been a major therapeutic endeavor. I was conditioned to respond to triggers because of constant stress caused by abuse. actively taking away his power and learning to verbalize removed a lot of triggers. I'm no longer pushed to a point of "no option but to shut down and let him do what he wants to me". I actually think my meltdowns were way worse when I started working on that trigger set because I stopped going into shutdown, and since I started establish boundaries he got really nasty. I look back and wonder how I survived the emotional drain, which was pretty constant.