Any suggestions?

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Hello everyone!

I wanted to see if anyone on here had any ideas as to what I should do about my parents, since everyone here undoubtedly understands me more than they do.

Here's the situation: My parents have this horrible habit of yelling at me from time to time (and these scream fests have been increasing lately, too) that everything that has gone wrong in my life (difficulty making friends, my dislike for a lot of social interaction, my not being able to keep friends...etc...everything social and stuff) is all my fault. When I explain how the things that they call lazy and how they think its me only wanting pity from everyone in the world, faking being upset because I "love" people feeling sorry for me all the time...when I explain that it's not lazy, it's just always been who I am, and that it's extremely difficult for me to socialize, etc, they yell at me for being smart. I don't handle change well, and when I tell them that, they say I'm just stubborn and I'm just lazy and change involves actual physical activity at times.

They basically blame my whole life of not being able to make friends and being alone on me. They say I'm depressed all the time and I feel sick all the time because I do it to myself and there's no other reason. When I give them reasons why I truly feel unable to do these things, they think I'm being smart and they yell more. Any ideas on how to get them to understand that I really do feel powerless and that I can't do anything right, not because "I like the pity so I fake it" and turn away any sign of friendship according to them?

heh - that sounds like my parents. I don't get accused of pity mongering though, I just get told that I can't get along with people because I'm so cold and uncaring, and I have no right to be upset over that so get over it.

I wish I had some advice...

This is a tough one.

Your father is a doctor and understands what Asperger's is and has unofficially dx'ed you with it. He has explained that it runs in his family so he surely understands it fairly well. At one point your Mother agreed that you had a ASD.

But now it seems they don't understand.

Would it help to get literature on Asperger's so they can read up on the difficulties you are having? Can you meet them part way, ie take some community education classes on your interest so they see you trying to be social?

I take it you are still in high school? This...issue...with your parents may be a moot point if you plan on moving out in a year or two. You might just have to ride it out.

BeeBee

Yeah, my dad did pretty much diagnose me with it...and he pretty much made my mother understand as well. That's what's so confusing lol. It's almost like they say something then forget they ever even mentioned it. That happens with fights we have. We fight, but after its over, and if I mention it after its over, they never really remember it. It's strange lol

But I am out of high school, I'm 18, and am currently trying to move out. That's another confusing subject with them, one day they're totally supportive of my moving and the next they point out all the bad stuff about it and deny ever saying how good it'll be for me...so confusing! lol They keep saying, though, that I'm lazy so I'll never be able to succeed independently, that I'm underestimating how difficult it's really going to be on my own, and saying they won't be there for me if I do fail at it...that makes me feel bad. (However, I believe that I can do it, there's no doubt in my mind. When I get determined, you can't stop me lol). So yeah, they're weird lol