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Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 28 Dec 2008
Age: 35
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30 Sep 2009, 7:08 pm

I am interested in dating a girl but don't know how to go about getting it started. I used to be a big flirt (and to an extent I still am) but I have been away at an all guys school for a while and so I haven't had to worry about how to talk to girls except as friends in a while. to top it off, I have AS which is yet another impediment. It seems as though I am taking a lot of the right steps but I'm not able to make the transition from aquaintence/loosely bonded friend to a closer friend. I have never been alone with her so I can get to know her better(that is how I usually bond with people). I need to do that before I ask her out. I know aboyt some of the things she likes but I don't know how to make that transition. HELP



Villain91
Butterfly
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30 Sep 2009, 7:36 pm

It takes a fair bit of confidence to be flirty, so at least you've got that down to an extent. Honestly I find it extremely hard to get close to anyone when I'm not alone with them, and sometimes my paranoid thoughts just leave me unable to communicate with people on there own, which is probably the reason why no one likes me at the moment.
If I had to give you some advise though, I'd tell you to find a way of getting her on her own without it being creepy. The best solution here would be to just ask her out face to face or ask her if she wants to come over to share a common interest with you (watch a movie, listen to music, ect). You're going to have to get talking to her about what she likes, and see if there is any connection there man... thats all I can think of anyway!



KittenWithAWhip
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30 Sep 2009, 9:40 pm

A really great way to take something to the next level is to have an inside joke just the two of you share. It's a little tricky, but if you can find something, anything, that's a little humorous to play off of... I'm drawing a blank on any examples...*scratches head* Not very helpful but I'll keep thinking. :wink:


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asperges
Raven
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30 Sep 2009, 9:45 pm

DELETED BY MODERATOR



Last edited by asperges on 02 Oct 2009, 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ad2009
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 28 Dec 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
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01 Oct 2009, 5:56 pm

any more tips



ad2009
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 28 Dec 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 78

02 Oct 2009, 5:23 pm

Bueller, Bueller? Anyone, Anyone? Guys I really need your help.



Merle
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04 Oct 2009, 12:03 am

The ice breaker / opening is typically the hardest thing to overcome. Since that's not the problem, the transition is the next step.

I'd suggest, since it seems you want a true relationship, getting more "face" time with her. This means spending time with each other doing things. It generally means spending time together.

Study together? Do something outdoors? A simple conversation over a cup of coffee? Feign a problem where you need her input?

What you're looking for is an 'in'. This is to help you find out what interests her so you can do more things together. E.g. she likes art, you find showings at museums or take a class together or a class where you 'need' her input.

At some point, you're going to know what she likes (and vice versa hopefully) and be able to call her up.

But wait, doesn't this stick you in the friends zone? Only if you linger too long.

At some point you say "Hey, I think I'm really starting to like you" or "I really like you and have been doing this to get to know you better" and see what her response is.



ad2009
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 28 Dec 2008
Age: 35
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11 Oct 2009, 6:57 pm

Hello, hello