Concentrating in the Presence of Others

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acclue
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03 Oct 2009, 12:06 am

I can't concentrate on ANYTHING when I'm around other people. I can be looking at the most interesting thing, and then when someone drops by, even if they aren't directly socializing with me, I can't concentrate on what I was reading OR the person. I just suddenly feel like I can't do what I was doing until they leave, so I end up hyperfocusing on patterns on the wall or random thoughts of things I did earlier, or stimming a lot more than I usually do while putting up the usual conversation responses to make it seem like I'm interested when I'm not too distracted (my friends know I zone out a lot, and have come to tolerate that much). If it happens while I'm on the computer, I sometimes just stop what I was doing and open up minesweeper or tetris to distract myself, but I just can't get back to what I was doing while in the presence of another human being. This invariably gets me frustrated because I am neither interested in what they're saying, nor can I return to what I wanted to do. I don't like just telling people to go away either, because they seem to not like that.

Anyone else have to be COMPLETELY alone to concentrate on stuff? Have any idea how to deal with it?


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Vanessa-Jane
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03 Oct 2009, 5:38 am

Yes! I can totally relate to this. I found it really hard at school when we were told to 'get on with your work' in class. By the time I reached secondary school, I was doing double the homework of everyone else because I'd have to most of the lesson work as well. What I hated most was when the teacher would tell you to work on something for half the lesson, so we could 'discuss it as a class' in the second half. Nightmare. I wouldn't even speak in class, despite being a straight A student.

It's probably why so many teachers thought I was getting help at home. My inspiration would always come at home, after everyone else had gone to bed. It was like something would just switch on in my head and I would sit up 'til one or two in the morning writing essays etc. I guess it's why I always quite enjoyed exam time: you could sit a 'safe distance' from other people and work in absolute silence.

These days, if I'm just typing an email and someone comes into the room my mind blanks. I end up surfing or decluttering my inbox to re-focus. I also hate going to appointments where there are magazines in the waiting room because damned if I can concentrate enough to read anything. I just stare at the pages but nothing sinks in; half the time I end up staring at the person opposite me, which totally freaks them out. Most of the time I just close my eyes and think about other things.



dustintorch
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03 Oct 2009, 10:30 am

I can relate to both of these posts. I could tell you my stories too but they're pretty much the exact same pattern.



surchir
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03 Oct 2009, 7:39 pm

What I really like, is when your running to tell something important to someone. You getting in the room with them, then total forget what you were going to say, of course they always reply "it could have been that important", then to make matter worse, alarms usually start going off and you can't figure out why people are running (ok that was somewhat exaggerated). I do have to agree other people, noises, seem to be great concentration destroyers. The only defense one can have is to write stuff down or type it up.



Maggiedoll
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03 Oct 2009, 7:46 pm

I can very much relate. Not always quite that extreme, sometimes I can be alone-but-not-alone, and then I can concentrate somewhat.. but having people around always makes it harder.



fiddlerpianist
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03 Oct 2009, 9:23 pm

Yes, there is some truth to that for me. I often prefer working at home to the office because I am much more easily able to focus.

My wife and I can be together and focus on our own things, but we can go hours without talking to each other because we're both caught up in what we are doing.


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Nightsun
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04 Oct 2009, 12:47 pm

I don't have problem concentrating with other people (unless they are forcing me to do otherwise, then I usually must start everything from the begining). I simply ignore them.



oppositedirection
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04 Oct 2009, 12:49 pm

I'd probably be the same except for my Ipod. If you are bouncing around to something fairly intense then people are soon put out your mind.


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Wikan
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04 Oct 2009, 2:05 pm

This is a serious problem in my studies. The curriculum is not defined or given in any books, but rather presented orally. Being able to filter out the essential from all the gibberish and chit-chat given by the lecturer is quite exhausting.