Gaydar

Post Reply New Topic

I keep seeing people who claim to be able to tell when a person is gay and they can never find a way to explain it. I just don't get it, and it would be real nice if I did because then I wouldn't get so many rejections from girls I like telling me that they are in fact straight.

im not sure what to say, we humans are animals, we can sorta smell when someone is not of the same kind, but at the same time mistakes can be made, depends though

so im guessing your lez, but i dont' understand why you'd think knowing how people judge you can help you with getting with straight girls, where are you trying to get a girlfriend? at school? or sumwhere else?

if you want a gf when you're old enough try a place that is meant for gay relationships, or continue to use the internet to connect with other girls, have you tried using tagged.com, it's not too bad but it has some flaws (like most people not even interested in relationships) but its free and you never know, you may find a girl who is interested, you can do an advanced search and find people that match your sexual orientation

hope this helps

I might be an aspie, but I observe body language and mannerisms to tell if someone is gay. As a gay person, we tend to be able to sense other gay people better than straight people. Gay men and gay women tend to do their own stereotypical activities. Many things set off if a guy is a flaming mo or a butch woman, no offense to anyone.

I have pretty good gaydar, in fact it goes beyond that, I can figure out if somebody is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, or Intersex. Often very quickly. It comes from social mannerisms, the way a person dresses, thier patterns of speech, thier interests, and eye movements. I am usually pretty darn awful at reading body language, but I am usually 95% correct on this issue. Why? I have been involved in one form or another, I have spent a significant amount of time around people in the community.

I will say this pretty bluntly, its not as obvious as you might think, and the stereotypes are usually pretty offbase.

Also I should note this, I have known alot of guys who were flaming and girls who were butch, who were actually straight.

I used to think I had really good gaydar, but after a good chunk of life and knowing a lot of gay people (many of them friends), I think that gaydar is somewhat of a myth. Even a lot of the gay guys I know are wrong half the time, which means you might as well have flipped a coin.

The way gaydar is supposed to work is that you pick up on various nuances in the way a person looks, talks, acts, dresses, or moves that would tip you off that they are gay. Guys with effeminate movements and voices, very short haircuts on women, a masculine attitude from women, etc.

The problem with all of this is that there are often major exceptions to the above. I've met men that other gay men SWORE were gay, only to find out they were happily married with kids. Now, whether those same guys are really living a lie because they don't feel comfortable coming out to their families (maybe they fear being ostracized) is another question, but for all intents and purposes, publicly they are straight, and if they don't engage in gay activity, can they really be considered gay? Interesting topic for another thread there. The point is that you really can't apply universal rules to things like this -- heck, even some men who have sex with other men don't consider themselves gay or bi, just kinky/macho.

Anyways, there will of course be some men and women who are very obvious and are easy ones to spot, especially if they are out of the closet and proud of who they are. I would say they probably don't count when it comes to gaydar, because it would take the most naive or blase' person in the world to miss this.

I don't know how accurate this gaydar thing is. But for some odd reason the only guys I was comfortable enough to ask out were gay.

I've also been hit on by lesbians which made me insecure about my sexuality for a while since I thought that maybe I did't look "femenine" enough.

And I have a family member who's gay....

Is it genetic or does our society often socialize the way we are suppose to act given a gender. I've never felt all that comfortable around guys who are quick to hit on me or come off as overtly dominate. So attraction in general has always confused the crap out of me.

I believe it "can" be in the genes,
but I do believe childhood can have a major factor in whether the person is straight,
gay or Bi, take an annoying/abusive mother and a distant father for a thought,
its possible the person or son/daughter can make themselves gay or even Bi, think about it.....
I've watched alot of true crime shows (example, most evil on foxtel) and there is not doubt in my mind, that the childhood environment and how he/she is treated can affect the persons sexuality not to mention mental illness,
and no im not trying to be offensive im merely stating that a mental illness can contribute to sexuality as
it can mess with your emotions/feelings, plus if a mentally ill wo/man was in a mental health facility im
positive they can/may/might/maybe explore/experiment with their sexuality but that is not definate,
some people merely have (I believe) different chemicals in their brains to fight those impulses or merely not have those impulses at all

I don't consider it accurate, because not all of them adhere to the stereotypes made about them.

IDK its kinda hard. when I was a guy people would ask me if I were gay. and I wouldnt understand how they knew.

i have a cute friend named Emily who's bi.

oh, and for the record this her default pic on myspace. the other pics are myspace pics too.

my step-cousin Randee is also bi


and her friend shelby is bi


do they look like stereotypical lesbians? nahhh
even some real lesbians don't. get my point?

they're all not that far from you age either.

consider trying to find bi girls? there seem alot more numerous these days anyhow.
unless you're pretty adamant on your need for a girl who only likes girls.

Hello,

Gay guy here, not sure about the whole gaydar thing. I know what other people think gay looks like?

I know what desire looks like though, and can clue into that pretty quick. You can tell when that interest is there. It is a combination of several things all at once. Though I'm talking about guys, and we're pretty visceral and raw.

I guess it has not mattered to me what my perception of a guy may be. Gay, Str8, Bi? If I am interested, I would talk to him. At least then I know.

Typically I ask them if they date guys...kind of blunt and direct, but breaks the ice and at least gets a smile.

As far as females go, I can't offer you any information.

Butch

If there is such a thing as gaydar, mine's probably broken beyond repair.
For whatever reason, I always seem to be attracted to lesbians (before I know they're lesbians, for the folks in the peanut gallery - no ululating and no fantasy jokes). And for whatever reason, I seem to be absolutely irresistible to gay men. Yet I'm firm in my conviction that I'm straight and happy to be so.

women are much harder to gauge than men are in terms of sexuality.

I have pretty attuned gaydar.