married sex drive in aspies

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How would the NT spouses of Aspies respond to this question?

thanks!

My NT husband would say mine is inadequate.

I can't keep up with my NT wife. She has a pretty high sex drive most of the time, which is great for me, but I'm not always at the same level all the time. It has been a bone of contention sometimes, but we seem to work it out ok.

I have a high sex drive to the point that i take matter into my own hands daily, i dont have a high desire to have physical sex with my wife though. we probably get it on once a month or so. Its less than she would like but the physical attraction just isnt there. Aside from that though i love her to bits. I guess thats just the way we are.

I'm the Aspie, Husband NT(mostly ;p).
I am definitely the more demanding of the two of us, frequency-wise.
Especially when pregnant..

I am always in the mood which my wife loves and after 13yrs of marriage we still average 3-4 times a week.

My grlfriend (very NT) wants it prettymuch every day.

I told her at the start of the relationship that I'm not the kind of person who will initiate. Simply because it dowsn't really cross my mind all that much - or if it does, it's fleeting.

What I didn't say is that my opinion about sex is basically: "well it's fun and all but if you wanna do it right it's a project, and do I really want to spend all that time on it when the result is fleeting and it doesn't really accomplish anything new / concrete / progressive?"

What I have learned... or rather what I have accepted as a reality I don't quite grasp is that many people consider sex to be a reassurance activity or something of the sort, and for them it is satisfying in that it accomplishes improving their sense of self. Personally I don't need to @#$% to know who I am and feel secure in that. Nor do I need sex to ensure the relationship is stable. Some people seem to need that. So I adapt. So she gets it nearly every day.

(Can I go back and finish my cereal now?)

Or something nutty like that. Could be I'm totally off my rocker (it sounds that way neh?) but it's the only explination that meets all my observations and figuring.

NT husband, AS wife (that would be me).

My sex drive is not sufficient.

What's even worse, he says, is that I'm not aware of my own arousal. That is to say, my body can be 100% in the mood, but if I'm stressed or upset or busy or thinking about something else (like a great book or a really good conversation), FORGET IT.

I can look horny and smell horny and be producing all the horny hormones...

...and never even notice.

Not only is my drive inadequate, I also evidently don't give the right cues when I want to. Apparently I don't know how to flirt, tease, properly engage in foreplay, do whatever it is that is required to give the feeling of being wanted and pursued that a man needs to feel desirable.

I know it really hurts him. I feel really guilty about it.

I am an Aspie wife married to a mostly NT husband. I have zero sex drive. It just doesn't cross my mind, and I don't like it either. So much that I identify for now as asexual, although othe rmental health conditions may stand in the way of emerging sexuality.

NT husband/AS wife. My husband says he would prefer more than our usual once or twice a week. He hardly ever initiates sex though, so it doesn't cross my mind sometimes.

me - male AS, she - female NT

i have a very high sex drive. i am thinking about sex constantly. i want sex all the time. my fiance wants sex all the time...

she was previously not that interested in sex (with her ex-husband). after meeting me she is interested. especially because my asperger's attention to research, detail and perfection gives me tremendous insight into how to give female orgasms. many multiples...

she likes that

the problem is that if i am upset about something, or pre-occupied, i can't get aroused physically, or rather, my parts won't agree with the arousal the rest of me has

it is maddening

when i was younger i could get going in a second and go for hours

now i still go for hours, but with, um, ups and downs

relaxation seems to be the key

if i can drive away all the things bombarding me, then i'm good to go all the time

my ex-wife used sex as a weapon and control tool during our 16 year marriage - she would also become violent sometimes during sex

i suspect that PTSD has more than a little to do with my current issues...

I'm the AS husband. She's the NT wife. We are middle-aged. We satisfy each other regularly. We drive each other crazy. We have fun. Vacations do get tiring however, due to the sleepless nights. It takes us a week to recover from them to catch up on sleep and because we both get too sore.

Longshanks

Sometimes only once or twice a week, sometimes five or six times in one day. Kind of a thorny issue in our relationship, 'cause her sex drive is a lot more consistent.

Well neither of us (me AS him NT) think we get enough, about 2 - 3 times a month (We're 40 with two kids). But then neither of us have high sex drive. We think we "should" do it more but don't try too hard. We do find each other quite attractive.