depression and remembering bullying

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I am suffering really bad depression at the moment as happens from time to time. It was brought on by me reading about an AS sufferer who recived a large payout from being bullied in the 1980s and 90s at school. Everytime that happens I feel anxious and upset and feel it should have been me I stupidly listened to people saying oh just let go what happened to you, move on etc and time has gone by as a result. Mum never sued the school or education department as a kid and apparently on further enquiry the statute of limitations probably has now lapsed that made me even more upset. Although further enquiries have said that unless you are looking to collect debt there is no statute of limitations. I stupidly listened to people, my parents didnt do anything about suing and I didnt have the money meaning that until now it hasnt been possible. I am suffering really badly right now and even if it isnt possible to sue I would like to write a letter to the education department outlining what happened and see what results. I am not after money but have always wanted acknowledgment and for people not to act like things didnt happen. I realise it is tough to proove these things but I feel if I do nothing I will always be saying what if.

I graduated from high school four years ago and I still haven't gotten over it. I hear "get over it" a lot. I went to a boarding school for all four years of high school. It was hell 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. My dorm room was broken into and trashed weekly, and they peed in my clothes drawer. One time somebody broke into my dorm room and took a dump in my sock drawer. They would pound on my door in the middle of the night. I went to a boarding school in another state, and for holidays one of the seniors would drive all of the students from my area home. We stopped at a rest area, and when I came out of the bathroom, I saw the van getting back on the highway without me. Then they tossed my suitcase on the side of the road.

That was four years ago, so that's less than the statute of limitations. I should definitely call a lawyer.

Yeah get over it is such a horrible and dismissive thing to say to people it is alright for them they didnt go through what we did. Aspies are bullied and shunned on a daily basis it is so wrong.

I feel upset and angry I shouldnt have listened to people saying let it go, it happened a long time ago etc. I feel upset that mum whilst doing some things didnt sue the education department and I feel upset that justice was never done. No I didnt tell her about being digitally raped but I told her everything else and she had an extremely strong case thats not to say she did nothing because she did. I feel hurt because my stepdad says I am "blaming" mum I am not I do wish she had done things different sure but I don't blame her. I am upset with myself for stupidly listening to people who clearly didn't know what they were talking about and I am upset that justice was and never has been done.

I feel that at least if I do something make some first steps then I wont feel what if? it may come to nothing but then again something might be done.

Believe me, I know just how you feel. I was bullied and picked on from the beginning of grade school up until after 9th grade. That's 9+ years of torment. Even now it still hurts. If they could see how messed up and scarred I am now, I'd hope they'd feel ashamed about how they treated me. They had no campassion or understanding of my situation. Just a bunch of insensitive, cruel and sadistic jerks. I'll never understand how people can be so mean, especially when I have never provoked them or done them any wrong.

I got kinda lucky only because of the rumors about me... I literally had someone about ready to bully me and someone says "hey don't screw with him or he'll go columbine on the school!" right in front of my face to him. Had it not been for people believing that crap about me, I would have gone through uber hell in high school. In a way though, it was another kind of hell, because I knew the only reason they were nice to me is because they were afraid of me.

Then there were always the people who wanted to see me high, because they would wonder what someone like me would act like when their actually on drugs. I had a tendency back then to be doped up on my meds, because my dosages were wrong at the time, that people would wonder what I would act like actually on drugs. There was always the classic instance where I took my night time pills instead of my daytime pills, and they had to pull me out of class to go home because I was acting all kinds of screwed up.

I know what you mean.. there are a lot of books I can't read, because then I get upset thinking about things that happened. It's not something you can just get over, especially when you don't really understand it fully. Although I've also had a lot of problems with really bad professionals, and therapists won't touch issues like that with a ten-foot pole.