worried i dont have AS

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i'm sad. if i dont have it, this means i will just be a wierdo with impairments, and not know why.
i seem to relate to a lot of issues, but not some. i have the same problems, but i can never be sure if they are rooted from the same...roots as an AS individual.
like, i got a high score on the aspie-quiz. and relate to a lot of things on this site, but dont meet a lot of the official diagnostic material, maybe like, 60% of it.
if i dont have it, i will just be back to square one.

how do i know when it's normal but fail, or AS??? this is utmostly frustrating. i am mostly not sure about the social imparements, if i have them or not. when to distinguish between social anxiety or AS. and like, as a kid i remember being isolated and stuff, but not really overtly innapropriate or anything.

Why do you think you might not have it? You don't need to meet everything in the AS criteria to have it. You only need to meet all of the bold parts, two in the first part and one in the second and the rest that are in bold. Some people don't even meet it but are still on the spectrum because they are impaired by their traits.

I don't meet it due to the speech delay I had but still got put in that catagory.

I agree it is hard to tell rather something is the AS or something else you have such as ADD or anxiety, shyness, or the PTSD, etc. Even I can't tell when I am having a AS symptom because doesn't everyone do this or that? How do I know I don't have that often and stuff? Hoe do I know it's not my shyness or the AS? How do I know it's not my ADD or my learning problems?
See I just don't know. How do I even know I am impaired enough still to be an aspie? I do have a job, I get left alone, I don't get bullying or harassment lot of aspies here seem to have, I don't get many comments from people so I have no idea what they think of me. I doubt they are going to say to me "You're rude" "You're so arrogant" "you're a jerk" "You think you know everything" "You do drugs?" "You don't care about us" etc. people have gotten here. Because grown ups don't really say those things, they keep them to themselves unless they are jerks or aspies. My husband says I have a real hard time in social situations and not good with small talk and I can't carry on a conversation well unless it's my obsession or interest. I'm not aware of it because I don't feel anything. I can go up to a stranger and start talking about Benny & Joon and I doubt they won't do conversations about it if they know nothing about it, see there you go, also can't carry on a conversation, that proves even normal people have that difficulty if it's not something they are interested in. They might go "uh huh" "Interesting" "oh." So why us?
Also how do I know if I am just choosing my actions rather than being unable to do them? I choose to play my games, I choose to leave the table, when I am in social groups. I consider myself to be anti social due to these things. I have proven to myself I can do group conversations if the topic is interesting and I am not being shut out and stuff.

My therapist has told me two years ago I am just confusing myself when I think this way. Just accept the diagnoses.

Don't fret it too much. I have known a couple of Dx'ed aspies in real life who were social butterflies in many ways. True, they came off as bat sh-t crazy (albeit in an endearing sort of way), but were socially successful, at least superficially. Of course, as Spokane_Girl said, you may have another ASD.

i'm not officially DXed, i dont know when i could be. its depressing because i want to know whats wrong with me already! esp. before i go to college.
and i want aspergers particularly

I feel the same way sometimes. For example I got a 153 on the Aspie test but don't really fit the DSM criteria well. The official dx doesn't help how I feel.
But we should remember that females express AS differently, that could be the source of our woes.

"Normal but fail" is a hilarious label by the way.

Your last statement rubs me the wrong way, why woudl you want Asperger's Syndrome? Because it sounds cool? I really don't understand. The more you say that the more uneasy I feel about your SD.

It makes sense kind of. It would be better to have AS than something like schizophrenia, at least from personal experience. Not knowing can be maddening...

Well I "want" to be diagnosed with AS in the sense that it's offered the best explanation for my difficulties, and if I'm not dx'ed with it I'll be very confused and frustrated.

I think she was joking. She had that laughing face. What's SD?

whats SD?

sorry if it rubbed you the wrong way.
its because i feel i can relate to it the best of the ASDs. and if i got another one..it would be like: "oh, wtf? i wasnt expecting that.....:S"
and yes, i was mostly joking.

Last edited by Spazzergasm on 29 Oct 2009, 9:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nowadays in a diagnosis, do they take the being female into consideration? i scored higher than you on the aspie test, actually

I think...I know my psychiatrist did. It probably depends on how knowledgeable the person is. You have a specialist?

SD is self-diagnoses.

It seemed more of a smile, as if she wanted it badly I don't think she was joking. I didn't perceive it that way. I don't read emotcons very well.

I understand that it could be very frusterating to not know why someone acts a certain way, but in my opinion not everything is going to have a label as to why someone acts that way. I mean just cause someone is socially awkward, doesn't mean they have AS. There are many factors, and even so. There's a difference between saying I want this so badly! between I would like a diagnosis or to figure out what my problem is, be it AS or something else. Wishign so badly for somethign will only lead to a disappointment. I did not wish to have Autism, I wanted to know if how I was was normal when it wasn't cause I was so wrapped up in my own world I did not recognzie that there weren't people like me unless someone pointed it out and even then I was oblivious.

This is not saying i do not think one should get diagnosed... I would like everyone to have the ability to get a dx, or at least get help without having money issues.

This is what I inferred, as well. I assumed that the OP either meant:

A) "I hope I have Aspergers, as opposed to some other, more pernicious mental/neurological condition."

or

B) "It would be more comforting to know a reason why I am a certain way. I would feel better knowing that I have a neurological abnormality than to just be a complete fool or wierdo"

I can relate to the latter... when I finally got a Dx, I was ellated that there was "nothing wrong with me... I'm just Autistic." Funny how the mind works sometimes.

For me, it read like "I want this like I want a piece of candy, its so exciting! Yum candy" kind of thing. Or something.

i dont have a specialist. my parents flat out refuse i might have something wrong with me (i honestly think my grades should be enough proof :/) they seem to think i can just shape up, but dont want to.
i hope maybe i can get a DX in america sometime. maybe i can save up money and have my sister take me or something.

and yes, i think it would be immensely comforting to know why i am wierd. right now it is just nameless. when the teacher doesnt understand why i get so nervous for something everyone else is ok with, i have no explanation.
and like you said, the irony of "there's nothing wrong with me, i'm just autistic" is quite appealing. XD

i suppose, the last time i was positive i had a disorder as i am with this, it was true.....(social anxiety disorder)..but that one was a bit plainer, i think.

and on the schizo note...that is also true. i have an uncle who is schizo. i also have one who has ADD, and ALSO one who is AS/high functioning autistic. none have a diagnosis except for ADD uncle..but they all have the very plain symptoms.