alcoholic aspie in recovery

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Well I hope im in recovery anyway. I been sober 3 weeks. this in not my first attempt. I feel i have a better chance than before because i understand im aspie and its okay most of the time. I can accept it. But ive introduced my self in meetings, even detoxed there and talked about it hurting. Not one F----r came up to me to talk. not one of them has approached me to talk about recovery, one on one. Anyone if talked to, ive had to approach on my own, if only to vent. Im beginning to feel more aware of being different,, more alone in a crowd, feeling like the "ODD ONE".... its pissing me off. I want to yell at them... get real vicious...... (i wont , but thats how i feel) I wont drink over this . But i fear i may hit another bottom and be hauled off to a jail or institution)while sober..... Meantime i tell myself over and over. "the st. francis prayer" .""to understand rather than to be understood......" also they "are not in this world to live up to my expectations" (DESIDERATA) ....nor am i here to live up to theirs... .Well it hurts feeling like a freak noone wants around. ... any other A.A.s in here? Tom

Hey Tom-

I've been sober for over two years now. Was a complete mess before that, and had tried quitting many times before. Not sure how I actually followed through, but I did. Well I guess it was do or die, so I gave myself a christmas present two years ago and stopped. Never went to any meeting though so I can't help there, I went cold turkey without support. I knew the group thing wasn't my style. Problem with that strategy was not I didn't get to talk to anyone; my "friends" and family weren't there for me either. Especially my brother, who said he would be... anyway. So maybe a good idea would be finding online meetings or forums. Actually now that I'm thinking of it I wish I'd thought of it two years ago for myself. A good compromise between contact with others and privacy. Also, I found even just reading about other people's experiences helped. Books, or searching online for "alcohol recovery case history" or something, or "alcoholism treatment" or whatever you can think of. Reading that other people experienced a lot of the same things helped me understand things. Again, it's a way of finding out (communicating if you will) about other people's experiences without having to talk to them, so that may help with the AS/social problems of going to aa or talking to someone.

But I say, if you've made it three weeks that's the hardest part. Sounds like a great start and just keep going. If you get mad do something else with the energy if you can. I know that's pretty standard advice but it can help to hear it, instead of punching someone go clean your house, that's what I do, I clean when I'm mad. Keep going and remember the power is in you, not the other people you meet at meetings. Good luck man-

hermit