Bad At Making Small Talk

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Hello and I'v just been chatting to my Girl friend I was telling her what I had been doing today what what I had found out about the Vikings. SAhe then told me to "speak normally" so I said "Do you want me to make small talk?" She said "Yeah" . So I proceeded to make small talk I found it uncomfortable and sort of hard , I found that I ran out of things to say quite quickly and the things I did say were uninteresting.

How do you feel about small talk? How do you cope with small talk?

-Curtis

Small talk is utterly useless, pointless, and stupid. I avoid it as much as possible. It's not productive at all.

I can't do it flat out. About as far as I get is "hi, how are you" then when someone replies "fine, how are you" I just blurt out my day in it's entirety.

Im the same lol

It has it's purpose for the larger population. It's just a way of keeping the social connection current. My problem is people who only want to small talk and never discuss anything interesting.

btwcurtis122 What about the Vikings? If you were talking about a sports team never mind.

I have a really hard time with small talk. I wish that I was better at it.

Jennifer

I find small talk boring, and actually, little annoys me quicker than someone asking how I am.
It seems such a stupid, pointless question as usually the asker is expecting you to say ok and loses interest if you tell them the truth and go into a long conversation on just why you are how you are.
I also get called rude when I dont return the 'favour' and ask how the other person is. It doesn't really interest me, is why I don't usually ask.

My wife really loves "small talk", so I do occasionally make some efforts for her. But as far as I am concerned, everybody else can just do what I do and go talk with themselves about whatever else interests them.

I don't think I've ever been in a friendship where I was expected to make small talk. Isn't that what "friendship" is? You don't have to bother with the small talk? If someone wants to talk "small talk" with me, I always have taken that as, "I feel obligated to talk to you because you happen to be in the same physical area, but I can't wait to get away."

This is probably one of those things I've been getting wrong all my life, though, so don't mind me.

@ Elderwanda I know the feeling I sometimes feel like that.

@Leejoepho I do try and give it ago im just not very good at it.

@Graelwyn I share the same point of view.

@Aimless lol no I was talking about the Historicle Vikings!

Totally the same here, I can't seem to win either way when somebody says 'how are you?' because if I ignore them they think I'm trying to be rude, but if I reply 'I'm fine thanks how are you?' I can't help saying it in a monotone and again they assume I'm purposly trying to be rude. I wish people would just stick to 'hi' instead of these ridiculous rhetorical questions.

Funny... if I met one who told me what he or she had been doing about finding out about the Vikings, I wouldn't consider it "abnormal" or tell them to speak "normally". I would rather find it interesting. (But then again, I'm both Viking and aspie... )

In fact, I sometimes wish that people who started a conversation with me, would start telling something about what they had been doing (some of my close friends do this, in fact) instead of asking me a row of questions about if I've found a job, or something about my former studies, and so (every time, as if job and studies were the only important things in a person's life)... and not even take time to hear my answer out, before they ask a new one. That really confuses me and makes me stutter.

Besides, I may answer "I don't know" if I don't know the answer or don't feel for talking a lot about the topic. But it seems like many people don't understand what it means.
Like: Which jobs would you like to seek?
- I don't know.
- What would you like particularly?
- As I said: I don't know!
- But there are some who have something they dream about specifically...
- Still: I don't know!

At that point I may have to make something up, or say a row of possibilities there could be, even though I thought that "I don't know" would do, but apparently not.
I just don't always want to go through the same "mill" of the-same-questions-every-time-that-require-the-same-answers-every-time. It's like you just could have read a theatre manuscript out loud as well.

Does that seem familiar to anyone?

I'm terrible at small talk. I always end up saying something stupid, or start talking about Swinging London.

I once tried to explain to a group of eight people how ridiculous the whole 'how are you?' convention is, suffice to say they didn't take it very well and I don't intent on returning to the subject anytime soon

Last edited by Nym on 10 Nov 2009, 6:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hehe, sometimes I go on and on about my day after someone asks me "how are you". Sometimes I don't. It all depends on my mood and my state of being.

I do small talk in the elevator and in public transit often. I'm kind of forced to. Most of the times, it's very predictable though: in the elevator, people usually talk about the weather. On the subway, it doesn't happen very often and if it does happen, unless I can turn the talk into a talk about a topic of interest (in which case it becomes non-small talk), I just let the other person speak since they would have likely started the conversation in the first place.

All in all, small talk is not hard if it follows a familiar scheme, but sometimes I forget recalling the scheme and therefore forget how to make appropriate small talk.

I tend to do small talk just out of politeness and habit but I could easily do with out it . I think we should just do what the Japanese do and only ask once a while instead of everyday . Lets face it when you say it everyday the meaning and is lost its like saying sorry and not meaning it. Another reason why I dislike small talk it just seems pretty pointless. Just an element in out culture that has no real use. It just seems like something you...do so that's it all it is something you do so it should be renamed pointless talk . lol.