Need some opinions!! (driving me crazy)

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Ok.. This may sound pathetic .. but i need some opinion, advice or anything like that..

So there is this girl that i have liked for a very long time almost a year.. BUT i dont even know her name.. We see each other a lot in a common place(which by the way is not a very sociable place) the gym. So i find her really atractive like a 100/10. She purposely avoids eye contact.. But i know she looks in subtle ways.. this was a long time ago.. she would always use the machine in front of me, bend over and tie her hair do the side glance from time to time, The only reason i let al this time go by was because i just got out of a terrible relationship, but now i am so ready. Thing is she avoids direct eye contact she looks down right away.. And just recently like a couple of days ago.. There she was.. on a machine.. so i passed by to let her know im around and she did the side glance, And on that sane day out of all the machines around she chooses the directly behind me. So many signs that seemed mixed... Should i go for it?? based on how it looks? something tells me inside that she is interested.. what you guys think?

Go for what, exactly? What are you proposing to do?

This doesn't sound like someone's who is interested. It sound like someone who is hoping she can get through her workout without you pestering her.

I think you're reading into things a bit too much.

If you want to get to know her, smile and say 'hi' the next time you see her.

I disagree mainly because I too avoid direct eye contact and especially with someone I'm attracted to.

You may be right on one hand but I wouldn't look at that as an absolute since some people are shy and do not know how to react or communicate to the ones we're attracted to. I do this a lot whenever someone looks back because I don't know how they'll take me staring at them.

Anyway, I'd say go for it but don't push her. Just say hello and take it slow or to the speed you can handle.

I agree.



I also agree.

While I see no harm in at least trying to start a conversation, I get the feeling this woman is not only disinterested, but a little put off. I have been in her position before and knew that the man wasn't quite getting the signals I was trying to send, and in fact was probably misinterpreting them as being somehow flirtatious. Sideways glances are usually never a good sign, and I get the feeling that this woman is not simply lacking in confidence. I'd also be surprised if she were single.

That said, even a woman who's not attracted to you whatsoever may subtly play up your interests if it boosts her self esteem a little. It's still nice to know you're wanted, after all.

I agree with the people who say she might be made uncomfortable by you (if I am trying to get someone's attention, I'll take a machine to their side where I can see them and they can see me. If I'm uncomfortable with someone, I'm more likely to take a machine behind them where they can't stare at me while I work out and I can keep track of where they are so they don't come up behind me and catch me unawares.)

I also agree with the people who say to say hello to her. If you speak to her you'll get a better idea of where you might stand with her and if nothing else, you'll seem less "creepy" to her because you're the guy who says hello and not the guy who just keeps staring at her.

Sparrow

I agree. Everyone has there own ways of showing interest, and the OP hasn't been around her long enough to know how she acts when she's interested, so it's really hard to tell at this point.

I think you have some real mixed replies here.
If you are keen, then my advice would be to try and get chatting, just something really light hearted and see how she responds.
Sometimes women are shy and avoid eye contact, especially with those they fancy, I have done this all my life and it has caused me to never get with who I really liked. But see how she reacts, if she gives you a short closed reply then just leave her alone, but if she smiles and seems keen to chat then she might be interested.
Its always best to chat and find out. If you don't you will never know, but if she seems unconforable just leave it and carry on with your work out.plenty more fish in the sea. help it helps.

With what you've given us, there really are two interpretations.

1. She's a little creeped out

2. She's shy but interested

You really can't do anything but try and strike up a conversation with her. Might be good to talk about something related to the gym, increase the chance it's something she's interested in as well.

You have nothing to lose by saying something non-threatening like:

"Since I keep running into you here, it seems like we both might be more comfortable if we introduced ourselves. So, Hi, I'm X."

It can be as simple as her giving you her name, and both of you going back to your routines, with the one exception of now saying hello by name. That's about the worst that can happen, right? At least you'll open a door.

Provided he doesn't pull any stunts, the worst that can happen is that nothing changes. If things go at their absolute worst, you'll come in every day only to get the same exact looks, the same exact feeling of awkwardness. In the worst case scenario, 'nothing' would be the real outcome.

There's nothing to lose, yet everything to gain by finding the guts to make an approach.

Yep. True. But even as I wrote it, I had to acknowledge I always had trouble doing it.

So here is some courage for our OP. We KNOW its easier said than done, but there REALLY isn't anything to lose.

I think you should say hi, but I don't think anything you've said implies a signal she likes you.

A signal is she flashes a smile, a signal is her feet are pointed toward you in conversation, a signal is her copying your body language.

You thinking someone is looking at you from the corner of their eye when you don't know them, not much of a signal.

Don't assume too much, don't assume too little, go for it.