My Husband

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13 Nov 2009, 9:54 am

He doesn't see me as broken
he doesn't see me as defective
He doesn't wish he had a normal wife
He doesn't wish I could be fixed or cured He says only if I wanted to
He doesn't mind my obsessions or me talking about them
He doesn't take what I say personally because he knows I don't mean it
He sees me as me and likes me as me. Doesn't care about the aspie label (in a good way)

Anyone else here who have these kind of spouses or partners?

ouinon
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13 Nov 2009, 10:55 am

Me, oddly enough! But we haven't been to bed, or even slept in the same bed, together, for 8 years now, so I suspect his need for a female companion of almost any sort is a significant factor. He is a total NT, but seems to appreciate my oddness, finds it entertaining, my thoughts and theories briefly thought provoking, and still thinks I'm beautiful and elegant. I'm not very good at valuing, remembering to value, this ( acceptance and respect ). I remember being, if not exactly "happy", pretty sufficient to myself when I lived on my own, 12+ years ago before I had a son with him. It's a slightly surreal sort of partnership; I don't know anyone else living like this.

.

0_equals_true
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13 Nov 2009, 10:59 am

Does he squese from the middle of the toothpaste???

anna-banana
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13 Nov 2009, 12:01 pm

0_equals_true wrote:

Does he squese from the middle of the toothpaste???

that's grounds for divorce for some people :lol:

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willa
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13 Nov 2009, 12:06 pm

how 'bout his toilet seat etiquette?

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0_equals_true
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13 Nov 2009, 12:42 pm

anna-banana wrote:

0_equals_true wrote:

Does he squese from the middle of the toothpaste???

that's grounds for divorce for some people :lol:

and beheading :twisted:

laura123
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13 Nov 2009, 5:17 pm

I hope I am a partner like that for my husband.

superboyian
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13 Nov 2009, 6:46 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:

However that sounds like how I would treat my beautiful loving girlfriend... apart from i'm not normal, and im not married, thats till years away if this love does go on

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xalepax
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13 Nov 2009, 6:59 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Anyone else here who have these kind of spouses or partners?

Yes, fits the lifeview of my husband perfectly! Its great to have such spouse isnt it. If I didnt have my husband I would be the most lonely person in the world!!

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MissConstrue
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13 Nov 2009, 7:13 pm

You're so lucky SG!

Sounds like a keeper... :wtg:

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Orbyss
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13 Nov 2009, 8:34 pm

I try my best to be that for everyone, friends, family and acquaintances alike. I choose only to avoid or confront that which I find truly destructive in some way.

Sallamandrina
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14 Nov 2009, 6:26 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Same here. But, as always, it's a two way street

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BarkAtTheSun
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17 Nov 2009, 3:02 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Sounds like my hubby. Is yours an aspie? Mine is. I often think that when I met him it was something akin to taking your shoes off or like slumping on your favourite sofa... you know, like a "relax!!" kind of feeling.
With previous relationships it felt like I always had to be measuring what I said and what I did, and putting up with a lot of social situations that I didn't enjoy.

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Spokane_Girl

17 Nov 2009, 5:47 am

No he isn't an aspie. But he can relate to it in some ways like with people but he can still read them. He has issues with crowds but deals with them anyway and has above normal hearing. He also didn't have any friends growing up and was an outcast. I'm his first woman he's ever had.

Orbyss
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17 Nov 2009, 5:58 pm

It sounds at least like he has Asperger's traits, given what you said. Avoidant, definitely, but that usually happens when you're born with a very sensitive nervous system, which is a part of the spectrum.

Brianruns10
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17 Nov 2009, 6:29 pm

I'd sell my soul for a womanly equivalent of what Spokane said about her husband. I'd give anything.

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