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zeldapsychology
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17 Nov 2009, 7:10 pm

I can strike up conversation at times fairly easy. I tend to lose friendships over time. :-) How about you guys?



Graelwyn
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17 Nov 2009, 7:23 pm

I can't do the whole hello, how are you, what are you doing, what have you been up to, what are your plans, how are you feeling thing.
I just can't. I don't naturally share what I have been doing with others, it just doesn't inspire me. I don't have much interest in hearing what others have been doing or sharing what I have been doing (which usually isn't much). As a result, because I do tend to talk about problems I am having, like noise from neighbours, I tend to be seen as someone who only goes to people when she has a problem.



twychy
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17 Nov 2009, 7:23 pm

no.. tend to stick to comments bout the weather,, then an uncomfortable silence but i like debate especially on the forums. but i take ages answering mail from people if its just social chat because ive usually nothing to say and not really interested in what they have been doing,.



MathGirl
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17 Nov 2009, 7:28 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
I can strike up conversation at times fairly easy. I tend to lose friendships over time.
Same. I can do a little bit of small talk, but not for too long. It's annoying, and makes me really anxious.


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Maggiedoll
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17 Nov 2009, 7:35 pm

Nope, I can't. It's always been a huge problem for me. I remember my mom explaining it, and I just couldn't do it.. she said multiple times that there were people who could help teach me that, and other social skills, but then she went looking and discovered that that wasn't true.



17 Nov 2009, 8:07 pm

Not really. I freeze up and I say random things. I keep my answers the same. I do not like "Whats up""How are you?" "Hows the weather?" I do short responses and then people leave me alone as if they know I don't want to chat. I rarely ask people how they are and when I do it's genuine and it's to my parents. Same as "what's up?" because I want to hear what they have been doing lately.



Boomkin
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17 Nov 2009, 10:32 pm

I'm terrible at small talk. Unless there's a specific topic to talk about.


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Amajanshi
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17 Nov 2009, 10:46 pm

I'm only good at small talk if it's something I can relate to. Otherwise I'll have to ask questions about what they do, and I don't want to ask too many questions otherwise it feels like an interrogation for them.

Btw I hate it when on Facebook you try to be polite and ask people about how they are and if they have any plans for the holidays, and they don't respond to you while responding to others...



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17 Nov 2009, 11:19 pm

I'm okay with small talk during the very first conversation. However, this is because I have a little repertoire of things to say that is considered "small talk". The problem begins when I see the person the second and third time and I begin to sound like a broken record or rather, like I'm being "fake" or insincere. I think people mistake my inability of small talk for lack of interest in them.

I have an easier time talking to people about "deep" things such as religion (as long as it remains respectful), philosophy....etc.



Boomkin
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17 Nov 2009, 11:46 pm

Amajanshi wrote:
I'm only good at small talk if it's something I can relate to. Otherwise I'll have to ask questions about what they do, and I don't want to ask too many questions otherwise it feels like an interrogation for them.

Btw I hate it when on Facebook you try to be polite and ask people about how they are and if they have any plans for the holidays, and they don't respond to you while responding to others...


I personally can't stand those social networking sites in general. But maybe that's just me.


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Amajanshi
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17 Nov 2009, 11:49 pm

Boomkin wrote:
I personally can't stand those social networking sites in general. But maybe that's just me.


I find the social networking sites full of banal and asinine wall posts between the NTs.

I think it's a good opportunity to study how these NTs make jokes and banter though, even though I'm still definitely not up to it.
My friend who was strongly suspicious of me having AS said that the majority of their banter is actually "programmed reactions" that they learnt over time where they don't really have to think about how to reply.

So I have Facebook more as an anthropological experiment.



hazelm
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17 Nov 2009, 11:53 pm

Can you do small talk well?

kinda... sorta... If I'm at school, I'm okay, because I have a mental list of common small talk questions. They only work at school, though, because they consist mainly of:

How are you doing?
Good, how are you?
You understand the homework?
You nervous about this quiz tomorrow?
I didn't do my homework last night, I was too tired, you get it done?
Did you know how to solve problem 55? (This one used in math class)
How's your grade since the last test? You don't have to tell me. Mine suffered, though.

and variations of those. But if I'm in any other setting, I'm at a loss for anything "socially acceptable" to say, so I just shut my mouth so I don't say anything stupid. Which can be a mistake as well sometimes... :roll:



jamesp420
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18 Nov 2009, 12:04 am

Yupp I can. I love to talk, and constantly do, unless there's a group then my mind goes blank, but if I'm talking to a friend or two, or just one or two people, then I can carry on small talk pretty well.


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twychy
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18 Nov 2009, 9:03 am

Maggiedoll wrote:
Nope, I can't. It's always been a huge problem for me. I remember my mom explaining it, and I just couldn't do it.. she said multiple times that there were people who could help teach me that, and other social skills, but then she went looking and discovered that that wasn't true.



think its different now as i get older thn when i was a child and just didnt want to ply the same games and was quiet and now i can be verbose sometimes but rambling on about the weather etc as long as its not personal talk i can do a small amount of chit chat now.. but thats when i meet someone out walking my dog and its easy to make my excuse and go off.. in company i find silences really awkward and get a lot of thoseb ecause i dont seem to be interested in the same things as other people nd when someone asks do i watch such and such i think my replies are very dismissive nd curt maybe . and if someone makes a joke i never get it. and take thingst oo literally. so im uncomfortable and so are they once someone was saying that they were retiring to the country and then i was asked a while into the conversation what would i do if i had a million pounds . i had forgotten all about this woman moving.. and i said i wouldntr retire to the country i would want to live near the sea though and it was because i had considered those options in my hed before i answered nd came up opting for tghe sea. and she was a bit taken aback and it looked a bit rude of me but i couldnt then explain the way id made that decision or why id said what i did . and how it was not ment to be derogtory of her decision and resons..



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18 Nov 2009, 9:50 am

I am not so good with small talk at all. Although every morning and afternoon, the crossing guard and i do a quick small talk while i cross the street. Normally about the weather and then see ya later, tomorrow or have a good day as a closing.


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gramirez
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18 Nov 2009, 9:51 am

Graelwyn wrote:
I can't do the whole hello, how are you, what are you doing, what have you been up to, what are your plans, how are you feeling thing.
I just can't. I don't naturally share what I have been doing with others, it just doesn't inspire me. I don't have much interest in hearing what others have been doing or sharing what I have been doing (which usually isn't much).


This.

I get irritated by small talk, especially when people keep asking me questions, where I give one-word answers, and it's obvious that I don't have anything to say. I guess the reason I hate small talk is that I don't have anything to say. And I would rather keep my mouth shut, than bore people with stuff they don't want to hear, such as my interests. Why can't people leave me the hell alone!! !


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