Has anyone ever done this to you? What's it called?

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Suppose that you are talking to two or more persons. They are standing side by side, and you are standing in front of them. You accidentally say or do something that one of the persons finds "strange" or "unconventional", and that person responds by lightly elbowing the person standing next to her, in a covert manner and while maintaining eye contact with you, so that you don't notice that she just elbowed the other person, as if alerting that person that something's wrong with you.

Does this non-verbal gesture have a name? If so, what is it?

no idea what that is called.

maybe its a way of saying "do u find that as strange as i do?"

Does not seem very covert to me..

haha. i laugh because they mean it to be covert, but it never is... but, in actuality, i probably shouldn't be laughing. it's often used as a way to tell the other person to keep quiet. maybe people think that if they still keep eye contact with you they still look interested in what you are doing and/or are trying to appear normal. i've seen it used when someone is trying to get me to believe something ludicrous. it's called a "jab" i think.

How should we know? We're aspies. We're Body language illiterate.

I have no idea what that means either.


Ask the NT expert Granetelli.

they're actively making fun of you. the 'nudge' is comparable to the 'confidential wink' in that its an indication from one to the other that they have noticed the behaviour and will likely become a topic of conversation at the first opportunity.

Oh great. Does that mean I have to assume now that every time I see someone elbowing someone, they are making fun of me when they are talking to me or I am talking to them?


So the eye wink means the same thing too?

Probably not every time! In the sort of situation you describe, it could be that but also could be plenty more things! Could just be the 'jabber' thought the other wasn't paying attention, for instance? Assume you can't just ask the people themselves or have done & not satisfied with answer? Sorry, not very helpful?

I have now idea, but on the few occasions I've been in that situation they usually just turn to talk to each other and I'm left there on my own, do I walk off or stand there?

nudge nuge wink wink. say no more!

i really would not say that aspies are exclusively poor at body language.
If you have read up a bit about body language it can become quite apparent if you think about it.
i daresay autistic tendencies towards pattern finding allows you to work out all the derivations and personalisations of body language based on very little knowledge to start off with. </offtopic>

Does the one doing the nudging look kindof amused/smiley? That would suggest they're making fun of you too

That's been done to me. What I do when I see it is pause, look at one, then the other and say "What? What'd I do?" They immediately get embarrassed because they were caught, and say "oh nothing".

PaganMom

She could be making fun of you.

But she could also be informing the other person not to say anything as it would be rude (she could sense the person might say something?). Unfortunately, the nudging already made you feel self-aware and was not the best thing to do. It would have been better if she would have just done nothing at all.

Like others said, there are many other reasons people "jab" or "nudge". It's difficult for me to tell because I wasn't there observing and listening to the conversation.

Yeah... It's called NT douche-baggery! They're making fun of you.

I have not noticed if i have had an experience like that though I believe it is called jabing or elbowing. I have been "Jabes or elbowed," by people before usually when I was not paying attention or the person talking said something I am into. I have also seen it on tv when a character is forgetting to say or do something,

so I think that it means either

"hey pay attention,"

"hey your into that or You did that before,"

"hey you are forgetting to say or do something,"

What exactly did you say that elicited this response by them?

It's sign language for "My companion and I are not worth your time."