anyone else feel like this....

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late last night i was taking the EQ and FQ tests , and my partner asked what i was up to so i explained, then told him myresults, which were no surprise to either of us, 10/80 for EQ and 14/135 FQ, oops lol.so i just said oh i obviously am as antisocial as everyone thinks lol, to which he replied 'then you should try harder'.
well my response was errr i dont see why
i like who i am
i like my own company
having to interact sometimes irritates me
i have been and can be social when neccessary, and i have also held down management jobs quite successfully
the people who matter know how i am and dont often take offense
people who do take offense to my ways probably arent my kind of people
im not hurting anyone by being me, and dont see why i need to conform to someone else idea of whats acceptable, especially if that just means preffering my own company.
he is also very antisocial, with few if any friends, he just doesnt like it when i prefer my own company to his sometimes..( ok a lot lol)
by staying home when i choose it lessens the possibility of someone irritating me and provoking me to be rude or offensive( which i never do on purpose , but sometimes my honesty is too much for some people to handle , and i get very impatient if people are rude/ignorant or behaving in an illogical or stupid manner, and dont even get me started on customer service )

the long and short of it is i dont often come across people who interest me , so why would i go out of my way to put myself among them.
dont get me wrong , i DO go out, i love to shop, and i take the kids dancing etc, i also love to party occassionally if i choose the occasion and its people i know, i just need lots of time alone , and i hate people expecting or demanding things from me.



does anyone one else feel this way, why should we have to change if were ok with who we are and not hurting anyone.

Last edited by cat42 on 27 Nov 2009, 5:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

This suggests introversion, which is not a disorder. I agree that people should not have to socialise if they don't wish to. If extroverts don't like this, they can talk to each other. There're plenty of them around.

Besides finding it annoying when people tell me that I need to be more social (no, I don't. Too much socialising makes Rachel's brain break.), I find it insulting when people dismiss my social difficulties as the result of not trying hard enough, or tell me that they're something that I just need to get over.

I find friends to be over rated. My husband and I are both antisocial. I go to two autism groups and one adult baby group and that is it. I don't mind meeting people from here. I just see it as a side thing and giving me something to do so I am not at home with the computer and TV. I socialize when I want to and all and if people are talking about something interesting, I join in if they don't shut me out and talk over me.

are you hiring? can i work for you? you're a type of manager i think i could dig.

oh man... i do all my sociallizing online or at school. rarely do i go out of my way to socialize at work. i heard i can make more money if i talk to the people i deliver to. i heard that i should just say what's on my mind. i don't think forensic pathology is something to talk with a person who is buying food from me. haha.

indeed. at that point i try to say something like, can you get over being social or liking a certain color? often, i find it changes their view on things. *shrug*

are you hiring? can i work for you? you're a type of manager i think i could dig.


i dont work in management anymore, i got fed up with 2 faced people telling half truths to get what they wanted, and i also got as high as i could with that particular company(that is without someone leaving to free up a higher position that wasnt going to happen).i did take a self employed job with the same company for a year after, whihc was slightly better as i was out in the car and could choose my own hours, but eventually decided it wasnt worth the hassle, and i now work from home as a self employed artist.not making nearly enough to live on , but i enjoy what i do , and theres the bonus that my studio is out at the bottom of the garden, so i can isolate myself.the downside is i am still accessible if family members want to hassle me lol, and i cant always choose when to have me time , but asides from the lack of money its the best move ive made in years.
now if i could only force myself to make more commercially viable pieces, and spend a little more time on marketing ( dont really like selling as im sure other people dont value my work in the same way i do lol) then we might be getting somewhere.
at 42 i think ive finally found a little peace, but theres still a lot that could be better.

i think the management thing was summed up when a regional manager once called me 'difficult to manage', to which i replied im easy to manage if you know your job and mine better than i do.( they put up with me because i was exceptionally good and got them results)

I think there are probably two questions about feelings here.

1. Do I feel antisocial?

Yes, most of the time and probably even more so since I discovered I have Asperger's.

2. Why should I have to change?

I really couldn't care less about the wider world but I do care about my wife and my children.

Since I have discovered my condition, I really DO want to change so that my family and me can be happier together, probably starting with spending more time with them at home!

Until a while ago I thought the reason everyone was not particularly pleasant to me was because I was a nasty person, then I realised that they were all just a waste of my time anyway... I have never been a very social person, though the friends I do have I am
social with, if I don't know a person very well I would prefer not to have ANY contact with them... which makes me wonder how I have friends in the first place:?!
Some people have told me to be more sociable, but I just disregard their words.

I definitely feel like this. There are not many people who genuinely interest me enough for me to want to be around them very much, if at all. I even feel that way about members of my family/in-laws. Interaction with people definitely irritates me most the time and I generally prefer to be alone. My husband is very much like me and we rarely have any conflicts regarding this issue, which makes it great. I suspect most who know us, including the family, think we are unfriendly/don't like them/anti-social, etc. My sister-in-law is a very extroverted NT who drives me up the wall but I've managed to successfully avoid her for the past 3 years. I used to feel a little guilty about things like that related to the family but have gotten beyond that too due to some other issues. Like you, I enjoy my own company and like who I am....it's just others who expect me to be more social.