"I can't hear it"

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First I suppose I should ask, if my son is not diagnosed but I suspect he is on the spectrum, can I still post questions here?

If yes, does anyone else have a child that claims they can't hear the radio in the car or the stereo in the living room or the tv, etc when set at a normal volume? My son is 5 and he has no hearing problems. Yet he continues to tell me that he can't hear anything that is not blaring loud. I suspect that he is trying to drown out any other sounds that he hears so that only the tv or radio, etc gets through. I usually find myself saying that since I can hear it, so can he. Obviously that doesn't really help. He asks me for headphones quite alot and I wouldn't mind giving them to him except that he's ruined a dozen of them by chewing through the cord as he listens. Any suggestions on how I can keep the volume down but also allow him to be happy?

Of course you can, Glycerin. You can post to anywhere on the website. As regards to your son, I have my TV blaring or I have real trouble hearing it, too. Get into a lot of yelling matches with my family over the volume, heh. My grandmother, when she was old and in her dotage, because she had hearing problems, we got her a set of cordless headphones. They would probably work for him, and you don't have to worry about cords.

Sometimes I have difficulty listening to music without annoying others, especially my mom. This happens especially when I'm tired or after the sensory overload phase, and my senses need to be more stimulated. I also enjoy listening to music without changing volume, so the full dynamic range is reproduced. This is important when listening to classical music, progressive rock etc. I also make a lot of noise when building and testing amplifiers- I'm an electronist keen on making and repairing tube equipment.

My favorite headphones are the noise canceling headphones.

Last edited by PinkPanther on 25 Feb 2006, 7:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

welcome to wrongplanet, glycerin19.

a possible explanation why he does this may be because it helps him concentrate on what he is listening to. i think that is the reason why i do it, anyway. the louder something is, the less likely i am to get distracted by the train of my own thoughts. also, this helps block out any background noise which can be difficult for people with ASDs to filter out.

Assuming your son is not listening to music so loud on headphones that he is actually damaging his hearing, you could let him listen to it on cordless headphones, as Danlo suggested. Also, since he seems to need something to chew on while he listens, you could let him chew on a rubber chewy tube, which would be much safer for him to chew on than electrical cords.

I know this is not where you asked the question, but I think you should go for a diagnosis for your son, not so you can ask questions here, which you could always do with or without a diagnosis, but because there may be issues with him you are not aware of that you could help him with if you only knew what they were. For example, you could take him to an occupational therapist to check to see if he has sensory integration issues, which it seems to me he may have. You could also check him for Central Auditory Processing Disorder issues. Even if you choose to homeschool him, he could still get speech therapy or occupational therapy through the school system where you live, if he needs it. I am referring to your son, not your husband. Children who have an Autism Spectrum Disorder often have unique issues that adults have already adapted to, so your son's issues could be completely different from your husband's issues. Also, your husband may have adapted to such an extent that he no longer presents with an ASD when he is evaluated. Also many therapists are much more skilled at picking up the signs of an ASD in a child than an adult, so your husband may not be diagnosed with an ASD but your son could still be diagnosed with one.

Not to be dense but is that like a dog chew toy or something specifically for humans? My son chews on everything. Paper, cardboard, his clothes, books, toys, plastic, wood...you name it. I've actually tried giving him gum instead but it doesn't always work.




Thank you, that's what I was looking for in my other post. I hope you don't mind if I elaborate a little bit more about my concerns with diagnosis. I, as a general rule, distrust doctors. I don't generally think they are doing what's best for the patient and focus more on pills than common sense. I think Dr's are afraid to say "I don't know" when you present them with a problem and would much rather prescribe something so they look like they are doing something. One of our concerns with getting him diagnosed is that we will be presented with all sorts of therapies and drugs that I am not convinced are the *best* course of action for my son. For example, I have a very close friend who's son is 9 and diagnosed with AS. He is in the school system but he also has some therapies outside of that. She often tells me about the things he is doing and what she is being told about how to treat him at home and I almost never agree. There is the chance that what she tells me is misconstrued of course but I do believe she wants what is best for her son. She tries to follow the advice but it doesn't work and she tells me how frustrating it is. It's certainly no picnic for me with my son but I try to treat him like a person. I feel like they are trying to convince her that her son can change and be normal someday. I don't personally think that's fair to her or her son. What I really would like in a perfect world is for my son to be diagnosed and only my husband and I would know the results. Then there should be therapy and support offered only to me and my husband on how to make our son's life easier and how to help him learn how to adapt in society.

My other main issue is that my husband went 29 years without knowing and he managed to do alright. He still talks about some of the things that his parents did and how he wishes it was different but he doesn't hold it against them. I'm thinking if I can just try to be more understanding and better equipped as a parent, then I don't have to tell my son anything until much later in life and by then it would be easier to understand and accept.

Amazingly enough, I had no idea such a thing existed! Thank you! I'll have to check that out.

I realize getting a diagnosis for your son is your choice and your husband's choice to make and not mine, but your son is not your husband and he may have issues that are better addressed now, while he is still young. If you choose not to medicate him, that is entirely your choice to make as parents, with or without a diagnosis. The same with all the therapies out there.

I would suggest seeing a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist if you want to walk out of the appointment without a prescription, because psychologists do not prescribe medication at all. They tend to give advice to parents about how to better deal with certain situations with their child, which might be what you would prefer.

Here is a link to a chewy tube website, just so you can see what one looks like:

ttp://www.pugetsoundtherapyservices.com ... steel_blue)_022.htm

There is something called Thera tubing you can get from speech or occupational therapists as well and make a chewy necklace for your son. You would probably want two-and-a-half to three feet of it because it has to be long enough to tie a knot in and still be long enough to go over his head. Of course you would supervise him while he wears it so it does not become a potential choking hazard. Here is a picture of it and an explanation about how it is used.

http://www.bmlbasic.com/theratubing.htm

http://www.therapybookshop.com/theratub ... eratubing'

At your son's age, my daughter liked the green Thera tubing. She chewed every non-food item you can think of as well, except chewing gum, which she quickly swallowed. I had two or three necklaces of Thera tubing for her and kept one in the freezer for her after I washed it in the basket of our dishwasher. She liked cold things. Well, she still does like cold things. We called the necklaces her chewy. They all looked alike. She never used the actual T-shaped chewy tubes, but some kids really like them a lot. One little girl who went to the same special preschool as my daughter really liked to chew a bandana with a pink plastic curler threaded onto it. If she didn't have her chewy, she would chew up her collars on her dresses especially, but lots of other things as well.

I used to do this too...with me it wasn't the fact really that I couldn't hear something...it was usually background noise (like others having a conversation) that would prevent me from focusing on it. The louder it was the easier it was to drown out the other things stealing my attention.

Now I just listen to music when I'm home alone or with headphones. The same with the TV.

is there any sort of Autism resource center where you are? where i live there is a wonderful center that has actually published a listing of resources including recommended drs and OTs. what about asking your son's pediatrician to do some leg-work for you? can't he/she do some research into decent providers in your area ? what about the special ed dept of a local college or university ?~if they don't have any special programs running ( our local university has a speech lab available to the public, as well as limited therapies), they could possibly, at least, point you in the direction of a decent diagnostician. and as far as choices of therapies and drugs~you're the parent. you have the choice to decline medication and therapies that you don't feel are in the best interest of your child ~ you also have the right to seek a second opinion. good luck with whatever you decide.

cordless headphones are great! noise cancelling ones even more so! that way he will not have to turn them way up to drown out external noises. my son got some for christmas now he can wander round the house with them on.

What brand of noise-cancelling headphones did you buy, Bish? The Bose ones work well but they cost about $300 and that might be expensive for a kid who might break them by chewing the cord.