I feel stupid for this, nearly got sued

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Anyone ever been sued or ever been close to it?


I came real close to it on Friday.


I was going to one of my autism groups and I am waiting to pull onto the road but there was a lot of traffic. I started going and then stop because I saw more cars coming and I didn't want to crash but instead the car behind me rare ended me. I turned and look at the driver and he lifts his hands in the air above his shoulders. I get out of my car and the lady gets out too and we both look at her front bumper and then at my back bumper and more paint had chipped off. But luckily their bumper looked okay. I had no idea why they rare ended me and the man said something about the car behind them rare ending them and then they bumped into me. I look at the back of their car and it looked fine so I asked again what really happened. The lady gets back in her car and gets her camera and some recording device.
Before we were about to exchange phone numbers she starts taking photos of my bumper and then she is talking to me saying how it was all my fault and I started going really fast like I was going and then stopped. I said there were more cars coming and I didn't want to crash so I stopped. She kept going on and on about how it was my fault and then I ask if she was mad because I couldn't tell. She said she was upset. Then she starts talking into the thing and then she points it to my face asking if I have any comments. I said my side of the story by saying I saw cars coming and I didn't want to crash so I stopped." She talks into the thing again saying we will decide a Merry Christmas or take this to court.
Then she was done and says if I am sure I want to do this and she will be suing me. I asked her why and she says she has a bad back and I say she looks fine and she goes on and on again about her condition and saying how it was all my fault. Then I said I was scared but my parents will help me through it. She said again we can wish each other a Merry Christmas and I said if we did that would she not sue me then and she said "yes." So I said "deal" then she said "god bless you" and hugs me, then I say I have a disability too except I'm not disabled, it's in my head. Then she asked me if I was all right.
I said I was.

I handled this whole thing well despite not knowing what to do and it was unexpected. But I felt I sucked in the social situation but overall I still did good because I had no anxiety so that means no meltdowns. Hey there was no real damage and no injuries and I got more paint peeling off my back bumper, some was peeling off anyway. I just hope there is no other damage. My mom has said just because someone rare ends you doesn't mean there is no damage and you should still exchange information with each other. But she was going to sue me and I didn't want to go through all that. I didn't have the money and who knows how much I would have to pay. The lady said she didn't have any money either but I do know you can still get a lawyer even if you don't have any money because if they think you will win the case, they take your case for free and then charge you after you win.

But after thinking about this incident afterwards, I wonder if she took advantage of me? I mean yeah she had a bad back and she said her neck is bad too and she is disabled but she was fine, I was fine. She seemed nice but I realize what a b***h she is. I wonder if she still would have let me off the hook if it weren't a holiday?
Just imagine what the whole case would have been like if she did sue me and I didn't wish her a Merry Christmas. While she is using her bad back as an excuse to win, I can imagine my parents or my lawyer using my own condition to get me to win so it be like bad back against the aspie. I didn't want to go through all that and I don't handle stress well. I am more prone to meltdowns due to anxiety, prone to violence, throwing and hitting when I get pushed over the edge.

Also how close was her son behind me? Aren't you supposed to leave space between you and the car in front of you? If her kid was too close to me, wouldn't it have been his fault too that he crashed into me? My mom has told me tail gating someone, if they stopped all of a sudden and you crashed into them, the insurance or the police can make you at fault because you were too close. So I feel I might have gotten taken advantage of and how gullible I was. Sure she told me it was my fault but her kid could have been too close behind me and I don't recall I drove off fast. I didn't have time to think about all this till afterwards. The suing just scared me so I decided just wish each other a Merry Christmas and move on and hope there is no other damage.
I don't know if she was trying to get me the guilt trip about her condition but it sure didn't work. Why would I feel bad if I didn't know she had it? She sure acted like I was supposed to know. Hey she thinks she is the only one with a condition in the situation, I have a mental condition so I told her that as we were hugging. I didn't say what I had because I found that to be irrelevant and I'm private about it too in the real world. I rarely tell anyone. I just said "mental condition." It could be ADD, AS, or anxiety disorder I have.
Then she asks me if I am all right?
I sure didn't ask her if she was all right. She seemed all right, no one was injured. Just the paint on my bumper is all. So I don't see why she wanted to sue me if she was all right. Just seems ironic because it was either wish each other a Merry Christmas or she sues me so obviously her bad back was just an excuse. I could sue her kid for my mental condition but I am not like that.

Then after I got back in my car, she continued taking pictures and I waited till she was done and then I hit the road again. I was late to my group but luckily they had just started. The leader there is always late.

That lady sounds like a psycho! I don't even know what to make of this... You don't jump straight into a lawsuit over a fender bender, you file it with your insurance. Seriously, maybe she was taking too many pain killers for her back, because she sounds nuts!

I think your mom is right - if someone rear-ends you, they are usually held liable.

It all sounds a bit strange, especially the whole "Merry Christmas" bit.

As far as who was to blame for the accident, it wasn't you, it was the person behind you. I'm in the UK, but I would think that that principle would apply anywhere. You should always be far enough away from the car in front of you that you can stop safely. These kinds of bumps are common at junctions and traffic lights, and it is the person in the car behind who is at fault.

If I were you, I'd notify your insurance company and explain what happened as soon as possible. If she has photos of your car she may be planning to make a claim, because presumably she's got your licence plate in the pictures and can get your information from that.

She was trying to intimidate you because her party was at fault...

Unfortunately, she can still sue you; it appears she was attempting to gather evidence based on the recording. Be careful.


M.

You had done nothing wrong. The driver behind you is responsible for keeping his or her vehicle under control at all times, and so is the one behind him or her and so on. Needlessly or irresponsibly slamming on the brakes while within moving traffic might make a rear-ended driver guilty of some kind of recklessness, but the people behind you in this particular situation had no claim whatsoever against you.

I'm so angry that this woman did this to you.

She intimidated you so she wouldn't have to report her mistake. It was her fault, not yours. Did you get any information about this woman?

You didn't do a thing wrong. Gosh I'm so angry at this woman.

The whole "Merry Christmas" thing just makes the lady sound crazy, but the fact that she had a recording device in her car makes her sound like a "professional" claimant. The lawyers for your insurance company should be enough to handle her. As Marcia said, you should let your insurance company know about it, even if you don't have the woman's information.

Last edited by FaithHopeCheese on 06 Dec 2009, 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's really, really bizarre.. but it doesn't make any sense. If she rear ended you, she's at fault. Really, if you get into an accident, you should always get a police report to document what happened.
She did take advantage of you. She got you to not exchange insurance information and all with her, or get a police report. No lawyer would ever take her case on contingency-- she rear ended you, a lawyer would have to be completely insane to take the case. She knew she was at fault, so she manipulated you so that you wouldn't be able to sue her.

I have not read your whole post yet (I will go back and do so).

Please be clear that you are not a lawyer, or traffic law enforcement official, and had just experienced quite a shock before being subjected to unreasonable duress by this individual that you describe. It is understandable under these circumstances that you might not know your rights or be prepared and able on the spot to defend them. You have no cause to feel stupid because of this appparently manipulative individual.

There are many reasons why someone may have to stop suddenly. A child could run out suddenly onto the road for instance, and the best thing to do is not to run the child down, or swerve into oncoming traffic or pedestrians on the sidewalk, but rather to halt suddenly and completely. Anyone behind you who has not left a sufficient gap to stop at the speed they are travelling without rear ending you would be placing everyone's saftey at risk (in the example above they would crash into the stopping car risking injury to themselves and the occupants in the car that stopped ahead of them, and probably would "shunt" the car in front of them into the child who the car had suddenly stopped to avoid hitting).

Hence, the onus is on drivers to ensure that they leave a gap that allows them to stop suddenly at the speed they are travelling without colliding with the vehicle in front. In any instance where you are rear-ended and you were not driving in reverse gear, it is the fault of the driver who rear ends you, no matter how suddenly you stop. The only possible exception might be if the stopping was reckless (not for the purpose of avoiding a collision or accident). Even then the driver of the car that rear-ends you would still be liable to charges of "failing to stop" or "careless" or "reckless driving" and at most the cost of the accident would be shared rather than being soley the responsibility of the party that collided with the back of another car. This would not apply to you in all likelihood as you were stopping to avoid a collision.

In any instance where you are rear ended the other party is at fault and unless they can prove you acted carelessly or recklessly in stopping suddenly, the fault lies soley with them. This is why you were initially told someone else had rear ended the car that crashed into you. If this had happened and had occured before the car hit your's, then that driver would be responsible, so the goal was to trick you into thinking some mysterious third car had been involved and to shift the blame to them. They did this because they knew very well that they were entirely in the wrong and would be held accountable both by law enforcement (if you reported the accident) and possibly could be liable to you for damages.

The only plausible danger of you being sued lies with the practice of "responsibility splitting". Insurance companies will notoriously try to split responsibility, for instance claiming that while their party is 80 or 90% responsible for the accident that the other party bears a minor percentage of responsibility. If the other party's costs are high enough and yours are low enough this can result in you owing the other party money as 20% of their damages might be more than 80% of your damages.

You should probably report this incident including the duress you were subjected to both to any insurance company you have vehicle coverage (including third party) with, and to the local law enforcement officials. That way if these people do try to exploit the situation with a vexacious law suite, you will have a record of what occured that was recorded before any action was taken against you. This will enhance your crediability if the matter does go any further.

I am sorry these people exploited and manipulated the situation, but from the sound of it, they probably have had similar dealings before. They seem to have known they were in the wrong and wanted to prevent you calling the police or taking other actions because they were aware they were in the wrong. They may have done this before to other people; they certainly seemed more than usually able to respond quickly in a manipulative and dishonest way, which unless they've done this kind of thing before seems rather odd given they had just experienced a car crash and this usually leaves people upset, distressed and with difficulty processing the situation and thinking clearly and quickly. So I would not be surprised if these people are terrible drivers who have lots of accidents and get away with it by manipulating the other person and exploiting the "shock" of the accident to get them to not call the police, press charges or sue for damages.

In closing, it is not your fault, your behavior was not stupid and these people sound both manipulative and exploitive to me.

Last edited by pandd on 06 Dec 2009, 11:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

In Alberta, if a person rear ends you, they are automatically at fault.If you were in Alberta, YOU COULD HAVE SUED THEM.

In Alberta, she has to ASK for your consent before recording and if she doesnt, she can be charged criminally and that recording evidence will be inadmissable in court.

Bingo.

She knew she couldn't win on account of being right, so she threatened/bluffed/intimidated her way out of it.

Good to know; in Arizona, the requirement is only that one party be aware that the recording is being made. (If the material is for profit/publication, there are different laws that also apply.)


M.

in my state the party who does the rear-ending is also automatically at fault because they're supposed to leave enough room to safely stop if the car in front of them has to.

the lady who rear-ended you was at fault. she intimidated you into letting her go instead of calling the police. it might qualify as hit and run since she took advantage of you being in shock to flee the scene.

it might be in your best interest to file an insurance and police report in case you end up with any physical issues from being hit.

Don't worry about it. Generally, in all states, the person that rear ends you is at fault no matter what.

As a precaution, write down everything that happened as soon as possible, and keep that for future use if necessary. Also, you might want to notify your insurance agent, and lawyer, if you have one.

More than likely, nothing will happen, but it is good to be prepared.

Take care