Holiday parties at work

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Who else dreads this time of year when companies have holiday parties?? There are going to be two this week. I don't care how many people will attend. It's just the whole thing about listening to people talk loud and laugh and gossip. I'm just not into that. Is this a common thing that peole with aspergers/autism can't stand? When it's too loud in the office I just turn on Pandora on the computer and listen to the music with headsets. It makes me feel better. I know the people I work with, but still I can't stand parties at all. Anyone else feel same way? I rather take finals than go to some stupid work party.

Feel totally the same way, I've been actively avoiding work parties for years I hate this time of year for people just not leaving me alone to do my own thing. I'd rather go to the dentists than attend any sort of work social function!

For me it depended on how at home I felt in my job and with my coworkers. In one job that I held for many years, even though I'm not into parties, I enjoyed our holiday get-togethers. I was nervous and not very talkative, but I liked seeing how my buddies were when they relaxed outside work, meeting their spouses and letting them meet mine.

In another job, one that caused me a lot of stress, though I liked many of my coworkers, I avoided the holiday parties like the plague. The association of the job to major stress was just too much for me to want to extend my experience of it into a party, which is just another added form of stress. Problem was, there I was a supervisor, so my absence from parties was much more noteworthy to others.

One co worker laughed at me and told me that I'm anti social. It's my decision if I want to attend a party or not. There are other things to do then go to some stupid party. Maybe whenever there is a holiday party from now on I will schedule a endoscopy or annual physical exam.

Yikes. Maybe just a simple teeth cleaning appt would do.

The thing is this job my co workers just make fun of me. Anyone else have this issue? Where I am at now is actually my first real full time job. I have been here for 8 years. I worked at a temp agency for couple of years during college semester breaks. I know that making fun of someone is just wrong and unprofessional. When I ask a question to this particular co worker, he just smiles, smirks or laughs at me. That is so rude! I ask the question because I want to make sure I understand the work. My co workers can call me unfriendly, anti social, stuck up, etc if I don't like to attend holiday parties. I just don't like parties, how hard is that to understand? I don't like roller coasters. But does that make me dumb? NO! I just don't like them. You can't force me to go to a holiday party. Even as a child or teen when my parents had parties at home, I just wanted to hide in my room. I knew the people that my parents invited, but still I hated parties. Do most people with aspergers hate parties because of the noise and the talking involved? We do have get togethers with dad's family Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas. This is my family. But still I get uncomfortable at parties. I want to hide or disappear. But it's lonely having this aspergers. Well dad's family have no aspergers or LD so socializing is simple. No one on mom's family have aspergers or LD either. I don't drink alcohol either. UGH! TWO holiday parties is too much. Seriously next year I may just schedule a doctor's appointment where I have to take off that whole day.

Hi Anna,

First off, congratulations on keeping the same full-time job for eight years! Many people - Aspie or NT - could not say the same.

I agree with you that making fun of someone else at the office can be wrong and unprofessional. When it goes beyond reasonable ribbing, it's wrong. You might discuss how you feel with your co-worker - who might not know how it affects you.

It's true that no one can force you to go to a holiday party. It's also true that no one can force your employer to keep you on, if, say, your co-workers perceive (rightly or wrongly) that you're too difficult to work with.

Are you able to come in the beginning, chat briefly with a few people one-to-one so that folks know you're there and leave?

Alternatively, perhaps you can volunteer to get more work done during the party. Your gesture may be especially appreciated if customers or clients need help.

What do you think?

I find holiday parties at work dull.

Especially the ones for the entire company( there are offices all over the state) where we spend 2hrs on a bus to go to this resturant then 2hrs back to the office from this place.
anyway the long bus rides are easier to handle when you drink I am sure but I don't drink.

I would rather go to the dentist then a work function.

Well the holiday party is today. At least 20 people will be there. I have known these co workers for 7 years, but still I hate parties. Someone is bringing Rock Band though and I LOVE to sing. I majored in music in college and was in choruses. I used to play piano. If there was a party where you can bring your West Highland Terriers and meet other owners, I may go to that. I guess because I love to sing and I love dogs. But the whole thing of sitting down around a huge crowd, eating and talking and laughing is just not for me. I don't know what to say and if I were to say something, I get laughed at or ignored. I'm a person, not some bug on the wall. !

Yeah, office parties are a horrible thought. The thing I find strange is that most people who go to these parties are people who detest one another. Why attend a party with them, then?!

At my work, if I think of something amusing to say at the right time and make someone laugh, my reputation goes up a little. This then suddenly makes the person thing, "Well, this guy is alright, actually!" and therefore suddenly feel they should ask, "Are you going to the office party?" Of course, my sharp reply of, "No!" then knocks the reputation right back to where it started.

That's interesting thought. I never thought about people who go to parties actually detest each other. So my co workers may treat each other with kindness and respect, but they may truly hate that person.

I think "hate" is a very strong word. Mind you, I did use the word "detest" I think there can be a lot of falseness with people being friendly at work, but what does it matter at work? It's a good thing there because everyone can get on regardless.

There is a lot of apparently fake people at my work and a lot of genuinely nice people. But it's almost impossible to distinguish them!

Just don't go. I've been at the same job for 5 years and still I never once went to the Holiday Party. People say stuff every year but they forget again after a few days. I'm not going to go just because of some dumb social custom. What would I do? Stand around for a few hours being awkward and waiting to go home? Why bother...

I do not go to office parties or other social events, and (thankfully) my current employer does not care.

For those of you who have to go, these may be of some use

* Small Talk Secrets for the Holiday Season
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=5040682
* Interview: 'Art of Small Talk'
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=4958660
* Holiday Office Party Tips
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=5036843
* The Office Party: You MUST Attend
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=6551972
* The Unger Report: Office Party Survival Guide [humour]
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=4225347

I was invited to go to a company party at the same night that the Christmas party at my clubhouse took place, which was last night. I've decided to go to the party at my clubhouse. All of my friends were going to be at the clubhouse, anyways. Perhaps, I'll go to the company party, next year.