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NUTSY
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21 Dec 2009, 9:39 am

Let's say I have this group of friends.
I'm not super-close but I stay with them at school.

And you know what hurts?
when they went to movies/hang out and they didnt even invite you to go with them

I kinda thought I was a part of them.


Say A,X,Y and Z is my circle of friends and then A wrote this on facebook/twitter
"today I went to ~somewhere~ with X,Y and Z. so much fun hanging with you guys!"

my name was not in there :cry:

oh well maybe they didnt consider me their 'BFF'
whatever. the concept of best friend makes me uneasy anyway :(


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Asp-Z
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21 Dec 2009, 10:57 am

I'm in the same position as you, but I don't mind really because I like staying at home and not being social outside of school.



L_Lawlliet
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21 Dec 2009, 11:06 am

the same things happen to me almost everyday (but just with girls.... god, girls are so difficult to understand and befriend... {its something weird to say, because, after all, I'm a girl... })
my "friends" often go skating, to the movies, to concerts, or somewhere without me... it hurts...
when i ask them "Why didn't you invite me?" they just say "oh... we thought you would be doing something with someone else" and i just think "With who?" i mean, its not like i have bunches of friends....
but anyway, they are not my closest friends...
my 2 best friends (both male and both aspie) wouldn't do that to me... (i hope...)


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Jpeg
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21 Dec 2009, 1:48 pm

This happens to me all the time. It can be annoying sometimes but I'm used to it and understand that I'm not too interesting to hang out with.



LittleTigger
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21 Dec 2009, 4:01 pm

I have to be picky about what frneds
I make, if they are like that about me,
I let them drift away and find those who
would like me enuf to not leagve me out of
everything. Bizarre but it has worked for me.

I even went for long walks thru the city
and bumped into all kinds of strange peple
ie, cool peple. Its the Normals I don't get
on with very well.


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samizat
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21 Dec 2009, 6:29 pm

This happens to me all the time, too. I suspect that the NTs really don't get us and just side step the issue rather than dealing with us. The ones I hate are the ones that flatter me, talk nice to me, and tell me how wonderful I am to my face and then disappear or avoid me the rest of the time. Or lie to me, I mean the Facebook stuff is a good example - do they think we are not going to read about how they managed to ditch us?

And I never seem to learn and take it all personally and mourn them for months.

So I have no practical advice on this one. I'll bookmark the page tho in case someone else does.


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Iuri
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23 Dec 2009, 9:33 pm

Some of my friends invited me to do something outside the school. They are few, of course, but I don't like to be near many people who I don't know.

Two or three of them invited me to study for a test. :-|
Another one was interested on dating my other friend and tried talking to me without me knowing that. We became good friends for some months, though.
When an exchange student came, I was invited to go out to help him socialize with others. That wasn't because of my social abilities (they are poor!). It was because I was the only student in my class that could make up a conversation in English.
Now I have a friend that invites me to do things with him at his house. I think that it's because he's trying to be cool with me. Maybe he wants to be as smart as me at school and wants to be my friend in order to get some of my habits.

samizat wrote:
This happens to me all the time, too. I suspect that the NTs really don't get us and just side step the issue rather than dealing with us. The ones I hate are the ones that flatter me, talk nice to me, and tell me how wonderful I am to my face and then disappear or avoid me the rest of the time. Or lie to me, I mean the Facebook stuff is a good example - do they think we are not going to read about how they managed to ditch us?

And I never seem to learn and take it all personally and mourn them for months.

So I have no practical advice on this one. I'll bookmark the page tho in case someone else does.


Most of my classmates don't talk to me or talk like if I were a freaky baby and then say bad things about me on orkut. The people who seem to really respect me don't talk to me very much. Maybe they think I don't want to talk at all and they don't want to bother me.

My friend who invites me to his house and is really cool to me was like this. He didn't use to talk to me until I invited him to do something together. Then I think he noticed how I liked to be near friends and now he usually doesn't let me alone.

Maybe you should talk to someone you've never seen lying to you and doesn't usually talk to you.



Iuri
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24 Dec 2009, 6:47 am

Iuri wrote:
Maybe you should talk to someone you've never seen lying to you and doesn't usually talk to you.

I mean, let your friends know that you want to hang out with them.



bdhkhsfgk
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24 Dec 2009, 8:39 am

My friends always stand up for me, they never let me down :wink:



NUTSY
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25 Dec 2009, 4:11 am

bdhkhsfgk wrote:
My friends always stand up for me, they never let me down :wink:


Really?? Are you being sarcastic..
But if not then lucky you!


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bdhkhsfgk
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25 Dec 2009, 7:11 am

NUTSY wrote:
bdhkhsfgk wrote:
My friends always stand up for me, they never let me down :wink:


Really?? Are you being sarcastic..
But if not then lucky you!


You must be referring to bullies who manipulate you, they are not your friends, however, there are some bullies who feel sympathy and can be good friends outside of the gang, like one I know, he's very nice when he's not with his gang :wink:



VolcanicEruptions
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27 Dec 2009, 8:44 am

Often I feel left out by my friends - I feel as though I do not belong.



English_Chick_21
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29 Dec 2009, 4:15 am

[/bdhkhsfgk wrote:
My friends always stand up for me, they never let me down)

ok i think you have great friends. My friends are supportive of my but they can get a bit fed up of me. I have anixty as well and my friends sometimes have to pick up the pieces when i panic. for instance yestrday i was at the shops and i had an attack. they were good about it but when i went for a sleep over,i paniced a bit. then they got peeved.

I also have lots of aspy friends from my support group who are truly amazing people.

do your friends ever feel like giving up on you because of what you are??



Amajanshi
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29 Dec 2009, 11:49 am

Yes sometimes. I'm not really upset though coz I'll be stressed out having to make chit chat with them if I were to go anyway...



bdhkhsfgk
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31 Dec 2009, 11:35 am

English_Chick_21 wrote:
do your friends ever feel like giving up on you because of what you are??


No.



leejosepho
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31 Dec 2009, 12:08 pm

VolcanicEruptions wrote:
Often I feel left out by my friends - I feel as though I do not belong.


Being left out when I was young really baffled me because I assumed everyone present (such as in school) automatically "belonged". But then around age 10 or so, I began to realize various people seemed to also have "memberships" elsewhere and I had not been invited. That did not bother me all that greatly, however, since I also had an "elsewhere" ...

... but then I began to notice other people had more than one "elsewhere", and that the one we had in common did not seem all that important to anyone but me ...

... and now everyone else is off doing something else somewhere else and I am here on WrongPlanet. I no longer wonder what might be going on, but I do still wonder what actually happened.


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