How to heal from irreparable emotional damages

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amyst
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22 Dec 2009, 4:01 pm

Someone I used to love inflicted irreparable damage to my career and to my life. I was not once critical of his criticisms of me, because I didn't like myself much. I was not suspicious of negative influences he has on me. He hurted me and my life badly Have you ever been hurt by someone you love? How do you deal with someone who betrayed you?



Alphabetania
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22 Dec 2009, 4:34 pm

I don't know if you have to see this person regularly (in which case it makes a difference), but if not, you may not need to deal with that person at all. It may be better to focus your energy on the area over which you can have more influence, namely, your OWN life.

I had to learn this, to walk away from a needy friend who was not helping himself, and who only wanted to suck up energy from me. He was not actively pursuing the help he needed for his mental health, and it was starting to drive ME insane, and I had to pull away from him for the sake of my sanity, because without my sanity, I could end up being no good to anybody.

Are you someone who believes in being kind to others, and being loving towards those who are hurting, and who feel abused? Then you need to nurture and be kind to yourself now, because you are the person who needs reassurance, love and kindness. Look actively for the beauty in your body, mind and heart, and actively focus on liking those likeable parts of yourself, enjoying who you are, relishing it and reveling in it. This is not an act of vanity but of joy, gratitude and mercy. Once you have these qualities, you can eventually become the source of these qualities in others. And your joy will multiply, and you will have been healed.


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Captain_Kirk
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23 Dec 2009, 12:14 am

Well if its irreparable damage, how is healing even possible? Unless of course, it isn't irreparable, and that's why you want to heal.

Don't give up. If you do, then the damage cannot be repaired.



Alphabetania
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23 Dec 2009, 9:44 am

Captain_Kirk wrote:
Well if its irreparable damage, how is healing even possible? Unless of course, it isn't irreparable, and that's why you want to heal.

I like being pedantic just as much as you do, but this REALLY isn't a good time, Captain. :shameonyou:


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AnnV
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25 Dec 2009, 3:49 pm

"To err is human; to forgive is divine."

You get to practice being divine! Forgive that person (for your own health's sake) and move on. Don't keep that person in your life though.