How do you define bullying, anyhow.

Post Reply New Topic

so i am at work. granted i am not particularly wonderful at what i do, since adhd and aspergers leaves a heavy mark on the quality of my work. in short, i'm a pizza girl. the boss is satisfied with me, as he hasn't fired me and knew something was up a long time ago, well before i told him (was diagnosed about a few weeks ago.) i told the people who usually manage me, actually just the one guy, who turns out is super nice and understanding. his behavior changed slightly. instead of nitpicking, he is more tolerant. i must work harder to do the same, i think, in reciprocation. however, my other manager, who i also told, is a complete b*tch. at least i think so. even before i told her, she would be ... i don't know. i had problems finding the water, that was apparently in the fries of all places, in the freezer, of which there are a few. logically, this made absolutely no sense to me. now it does, kind of, in a weird food-servicy kind of way, maybe. but anyway, i asked her or told her, "you gotta be more specific." then she was like, "i told you it was in the cooler with the fries. do i need to be more specific?"

the other day, i made a mistake, tried to explain myself, which ultimately always fails, somehow. she gave me quite a good suggestion on how to fix it, which was cool, and i told her as such. then she said, "ya think?" seriously, just like Mark Harmon off of NCIS. a perfect freakin' rip-off. (of course i'd be a hypocrite if i didn't admit i've copied him myself....the head slap is my favorite.) then, we had another misunderstanding, actually before the latter incident. she broke protocol. she wanted me to take the garbage out before taking the delivery. deliveries always go first, and i usually get yelled at for not dropping my task (which i invariably wish to complete) to take the delivery. so, i am thinking, "seriously? maybe she just means the trash and not the recycling, since that would take longer." i get back and asks me why i didn't take out all the trash. i explained to her that i thought that she meant just the trash, and not the recycling. attempting to defend myself, she accuses me of playing word games. i think the problem may have been that i didn't tell her that she broke protocol, but i don't know, honestly, how much that would have helped. i am not usually one to question my superiors at work.

the previous week i told her i probably have aspergers! she told me she heard of it, so, maybe i figured she knew a little bit about it. now she is just nasty, even when i attempt to be nice. so, now i just ignore her, since i honestly don't deem her worthy of my attention. maybe i an immature (i know i'm a bit arrogant, but i've been told i don't act it. however, i know it, since i think i know myself pretty well.) grrrr. she pisses me off. i don't want to bother the boss about it. maybe i should. is her behavior bullying? i don't think it should abide. she, in my opinion, is a terrible manager. sure, she can perform her tasks competantly, but she treats me like sh*t. she made me lose my trust in her. i don't like her at all. this is all after i thought she was a nice person. she said she was a sensitive person. my a**.

so, my questions to you are, is this bullying? also, how should i handle this? this is LITERALLY out of my realm! ack! i am so frustrated. my boss, inerestingly, is usually smiling. jim, the first manager, has a blank face to me. annie's is just as blank. wtf? mind games. *shakes head* how would i best banish ignorance from my realm?

First of all, you shall be happy that you have an understanding boss, who takes your problems into consideration. It makes me believe, that you actually may be quite good at your work.

Second, you might consider an alternative explanation of what happened between you and your co-worker. First of all, Asperger is a pretty complicated thing, and most people want to admit that there is something they really do not know. This may change your co-workers behaviour, because she feels uncertain.

Third about your garbage discussion. Something that might happen when getting a diagnosis, is that you become more uncertain about your own reactions. You know, there might be problems in your judgement. This may lead you to step more back than you want in discussions. Try to remember, that when you have the diagnosis you know more about yourself and are able to act better than before.

I do not think it is a good idea to discuss the garbage episode later, but you might think about or even practice what you wanted to say, so you are better prepared next time.

Yes it does sound like bullying. This sounds like me when I get told to do things and I feel stupid everytime. My office clerk used to get upset with me for not using my "common sense." I did try to explain to him I take things literal and I don't connect the dots well or read between the lines but he didn't seem to care. I always felt bad for myself. I didn't like him either.

Your post was hard to read.

You should tell your other boss about this.

Look, at least you have a good boss. Most bosses are horrible, like the one you described. That's just how food service is. Everybody hates everybody, especially in the kitchen when it's really busy. Your boss is a typical supervisor. Get used to it, you will see that a lot in the customer service world. There really isn't a way to deal with it, just nod your head and get to work. It's sad, but that's how customer service works. It's a modern form of slavery, so the sooner you accept that the better.

For what it's worth, I get paid minimum wage, and I get my schedule for next week the day before. So my Sundays are messed up. and sometimes I'm on call, which means my whole day is ruined because I MIGHT be working. I didn't have those problems at my previous job. So my point is, all places are different, some are worse than others, but there is BS everywhere you go, and it's all the same kind. This is why people go to school.

I don't have time to read this, I'm really busy so I'll just enter my definition and let you judge for yourself.

Bullying: A continued act whoms main purpose is to hurt others physically or emotionally.

Help at all? I'll read the whole thing later

I wouldn't call it bullying persay, I'd just call her nasty. Heaps of work places have nasty management, you just gotta roll with the punches. You'll come out on top.

To me, anything that violates my rights or feelings is automatically considered bullying in my book. If I can't afford a nice home theater, then I'm being bullied by paltry income. If I send out a dozen resumes and get no calls back, then the companies that receive my resume are bullying me.