Opinions Please!
James is 8 and mildly autistic. Today was his sisters b-day and we went to a indoor play place that was for children 8 and under so most of the kids were younger. He is usually very good with younger kids but today he was having a more aggressive day. He was not trying to hurt the other children intentionally, but he was thowing things, grabbing them and growling at them to the point that some where scared. I am usually able to pull him out of this kind of behavior, but not today. I know this may sound horrible but I was embarrassed at some point with his actions and I have never felt this way before. I felt like everyone was staring and commenting on his behaviors. The owner even asked if I minded if she told him that he could not play in the toddler area or throw things. I allowed her to do so and she was very nice about it. My thoughts were if the parents knew they would be more understanding. I have 5 children and I loved this place for my little one and was hoping to go back soon. Someone I know suggested I buy one of those shirts that say Im not being bad I'm Autistic (or something along those lines). I'm not sure how I feel about that so I wanted someone elses opinion please tell me what you think.
I also posted this in the parents discussion, I hopes it's ok to post in more than one board.
If you are comfortable with the shirt, then buy it as a play shirt for when you go out to play. If it seems to help, then you know to wear it again. I myself wish I could wear one sometimes, just so that when I say inappropriate things people would understand that I'm not meaning to be rude. I do wear an "Autism Awareness" bracelet, but people don't realize that I am the one who is autistic. But I would definitely buy the shirt for James. People really do react differently when they understand why the behavior is happening. It will help you be more relaxed too, sometimes we as parents worry too much about our childs negative behavior. My son was terrible at parks, my other son loved them so much it was hard not to go. Our children look as if they can control their behavior like other children, so people don't think there is a reason behind the behavior. Try the shirt as a test, keep the message short and sweet, but be ready for feedback or questions from other parents or even kids, but it's got to be better than the nasty looks we get. Good luck and let us know if it works!
Bradleigh
Veteran
Joined: 25 May 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,669
Location: Brisbane, Australia
It sounds like he was having a bad day, I can recall having days still as a teenager where I would have less control then usual and I embarassed others. It might be a good idea to make sure he knows his behaviour was not right, so he might be aware of what he was doing to others, he might feel about it.
My 8 year old brother acts up sometimes, sometimes he has to be taken away from everyone else, but I know he probably feels bad about it.
_________________
Through dream I travel, at lantern's call
To consume the flames of a kingdom's fall