Making Friends w/ Girls while having Asperger's

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Hi everyone

I have been researching Asperger's Syndrome even though I haven't been diagnosed with it the descriptions fit me to a t. I have never had a girlfriend and I mean a friend that's a girl and I'm 18. I just can't start a conversation unless it is started by someone else and I get in or it is situational (how class was, how you bowled [on bowling team], etc...) I start my 2nd semester at community college tomorrow and the 1st semester I didn't get any girls numbers, etc... but did talk to like 3 really cute girls...but like I said situationally...can any1 give me some sort of advice to approaching and starting/continuing a conversation with a girl and even everyone in general who I don't know

Thanks

Hi JP88 - you just started a conversation (but maybe you mean real life ones!). Anyhow, I can't give advice because my life's a mess. But when I was a teenager I basically adopted a persona which enabled me to approach basically anyone. As my persona was so confident I sort of got away with the AS quirks. Of course I never fitted in. But I was not deplete of a social life. Eventually I confused myself with the persona and went more than a bit crazy. So I don't know if that's the best method. It worked short-term at least. And maybe it works better for girls, idk.

Talk to them the same way as you would talk to a guy. Also, don't limit yourself to only talking to the pretty ones; people will pick up on that and figure that you're not actually interested in them as people.

I think that's a good point Lene. If you're genuinely interested in the other person's needs/interests you won't think about your own insecurities in socialising. This might be difficult for an aspie - I know myself that I'm usually only interested in my own interests! But thinking in terms of human beings in general - we have a lot in common with everyone - the same basic needs and stuff like that. So if you focus your attention on the other person's needs/interests it might help with a more fluid interaction.

If I need to interact with someone I try to take my own focus off myself and put it on them instead.
I think that really helps with the confidence.
And it also always gives you a purpose for the communication - asking about their wellbeing, finding out about their interests.
But context is also extremely important unfortunately. The way you'd approach a group of teenagers might have to be totally different to how you'd talk to the elderly couple who run the corner store.
But this doesn't mean the same rule can't still apply - focus on the other person.
Then when/if they ask you about yourself, if you maintain your awareness of the other person it can maybe help to ensure you don't waffle on (which is probably what I'm doing right now!) - but instead answer their question in such a way that might enable further interaction.

Hello JP88,
You are sharing information like some different then other. but most of case it's very compicated. Please you can elaborate it.
Thanks.