Transitional issues

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Hey all. My 4 years old has a very rough time with transitions (any kind of change). But some is unavoidable, like a new car seat. We had our first outing with the new one today and it didn't go well. I hate to see my son get so upset, but there really isn't any other (legal and safe) alternative for riding in the car. I know eventually it will be OK, but knowing how much it upsets him is killing my wife and me. Anyone else have any similar experiences?

Transitions and change in the usual schedule were/are a huge thing for our son. He's now 11, and that's one thing that hasn't improved very much. He still requires LOTS of advance notice if we're going to do something out of the ordinary or if his schedule is going to be at all disrupted.

There are times (like with the car seat) that you just move forward, put up with the tears or screaming, and do what you have to do. Other times I just don't have the energy and the only solution has been to pick my battles. Do I want to fight about where we go to dinner the one night we go out? Because even if I "win", I'll lose because he'll be sulking and not eat and I won't be happy and either will he.

That said, we didn't have a dx until our son was 10, and so you may be able to slowly move your child in a better direction, since he's so young and you know what is going on.

we still have issues with transition with both of the families aspies ( son and hubby)....sometimes, as you say, transition is necessary. when it's not necessary, to be honest, we avoid change like the plague.....when we decided to get a new couch ( the old one was literally falling apart), we were not surprised to find that our son wanted to keep all of the cushions from the old couch~ we let him keep 2.........is there a way that you could keep the old car seat and let your son use it as a seat while he's at home ? still explaining the safety issue, but letting him have some control over the transition might help~ i've found that successful transitions in our house let the aspies have some control. " i need you to get off the computer now." ~simply doesn't work...much better to offer: " we have to go soon. I need you to get off of the computer in 5 or 10 minutes"~ this usually receives the reply "10 mintues". that's not to say that transition is still not difficult...definitely still temper tantrums...when necessary, i hold firm to the point. ( ie; " we have to go now.")
hope this helps.

Hi,

My AS son has tactile sensitivity issues. What I have to do with new clothes, jackets, boots, car seats, is place them in the front hall. I need atleast two weeks before something has to change. Everyday I tell him "There's your new ......, do you want to try it?" I can usually get him to try for a minute or two. Then suddenly, one day he will just get the item himself (his old boots were ridiculous they were waaay too small) and we're off to the races. Or, I will tell him it's time and because he's tried the item it's not too bad. I always bring out the fall and winter items early, I had too many instances where all the other kids in the school yard were fully dressed and my AS guy would be running around bare foot and no coat. I never secretly get rid of anything, he becomes very attached to things.

Good Luck

Jetgirl

We definitely try to prepare for any kind of change. Friday night M was fine watching TV sitting in his new car seat, which is why we were so surprised by the severe reaction to Saturday's car ride.

We have been talking to M this morning about going for a ride again. He actually said, "I'm going to sit in my new car seat and I'll like it." I hope so.

We are fairly new to Asperger's and are constantly learning the do's and don'ts.
I can see this place being a huge help.

Sometimes it helps if you let him take something familiar to play with during the car ride. It might distract him from the new seat. I like your idea of letting him sit in the new seat to watch TV. That was great.