something i hope helps most aspies and has helped myself

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now that i'm 20, i've realized most of the things i say in conversation are out of line, out of sync, innapropriate, etc.
but, ive learned that it's never going to change.
no matter how much i socialize and try to learn, i always will continue to be strange.

but whenever someone says "why would you say that?", or "you don't ask people that!" or, "what the f**k?"
just simply respond:

"i don't mean to be rude but i really don't care, i'll say what i want"
or something similiar.

if it's rude, who cares?
you try hard enough to fit in, if neurotypical people don't understand you, tell them the truth, you don't care, you are who you are.

i guess i've learned it's better to be seen as rude than to be seen as a complete idiot in a social setting

Might work for you but "I'm just being myself etc." or something similar leads to my family yelling at me. Also sadly NT's will never accept us IMO very few do.

I suppose being an only child with no real family makes it different but my parents know I'm pretty damn weird.
I can pretty much do whatever the hell I want without an argument, and if I cause an argument that just treat me like I'm completely ret*d but it doesn't bother me anymore.
I actually smile when people yell at me now.. it's pretty much the only way I can handle it.
Other than my parents (even though they don't really accept me either), nobody does, I agree.

Hmm.. I just realized I talk to my cat a lot. And I swear it talks back. It's the smartest cat I know seriously.
I think if you talk to cats a lot and train them right, they gain intelligence.

I tend to try to smile and blow it off aswell but sometimes it's hard and I go into "meltdown" mode where I start crying and run into my room. I hope I can get better at blowing stuff off and wish people understood us better.

If you hate "meltdowns" as much as I do, then you will do anything to prevent them.
If it means running down the street while covering your ears and thinking of the happiest thing you can think of, then try it.
Cigarette smoking actually helps my meltdowns a lot, unfortunately.
Instead of crying, I light up a cigarette and it works.

There's actually some research I found online involving a connection between nicotine receptors and autism including the idea of applying nicotine patches to reduce autistic symptoms!


Nicotine Helps Autism Sufferers | Unlock Autism

Afterall, it is a stimulant and we do seem to have a need to "stim".

I don't mean to be rude but I am sometimes. People just accept it and they know I don't mean it. They find my honesty to be cute.
I have scared off lot of people because they stop replying but I don't care anymore. It still gets frustrating when people act interested in being my friend and then they stop responding and they don't even tell me what I did wrong when I ask them. They don't ever bother to send me a IM so it's obvious. I don't even want them to tell me "talk to you later" or tell me it was great talking to me if they are not going to speak to me again. I also get cynical about their excuses.

I like to try to come across as friendly, and if others still don't like me, at least I can say I tried. I go by the Golden Rule - treat others as you would want to be treated. So when I come across as rude to someone and it hurts their feelings, it absolutely breaks my heart and I do everything to make it right.

This is interesting. Smokers often report a difficulty with needing to do something with their hands when they try to quit. A lot of my tics seem to be associated with a change of activity, such as entering a room or getting out of a car, or generally being uneasy about being around other people and I often have trouble with hand movements and hand placement even though I never smoked. Could some of the symptoms of nicotine addiction actually be autistic behaviors? How does a smoker know whether the supposed withdrawal symptoms aren't really just baseline behavior that would be experienced anyway even without ever having smoked? Might the application of nicotine through something less damaging than tobacco make me seem less autistic? Caffeine can sharpen my focus and help me get things done, but it makes my voice control problems worse if I talk to someone.

Last edited by sgrannel on 02 Feb 2010, 10:35 am, edited 2 times in total.

There have been suggestions that nicotine patches may help!
It's a safer alternative to cigarettes but don't overdue do it or you may become addicted to the patches!

All of it is still conjecture though.

I'm exactly on blackjacks page, I just stopped trying to fit in since people think Im socially awkward which they have never told me that I am I just assume that. I am who I am and I know that there is something out there in my field that I will grately achieve.
I believe that all of us aspies have something that all the NT's fail to hold and that is to be who we are, Ive seen it first hand the NT's change to go be popular as we struggle, just leaving us behind. A quote from a hero of mine is "everybody is born an artist, the problem is remaining one as we grow" picaso (not exact but near). Us aspies basically stay in our youth but mature in different fields rather then social perspectives.
Id love to interview the makers of Avatar, only because they would most likely fit in perfectly on how we see and think.