Out of Sight, Out of Mind? Or Out of Sight, Still in Mind?

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Out of Sight, Out of Mind? Or Out of Sight, Still in Mind?


I'm wondering, if, when you're feeling overwhelmed/shut down/stressed, if you're friends and loved are still in your thoughts (and heart) -or- if they fade far away for a while.

While "you" are "gone," I'm sure they are missing you, concerned for you. And how about your feelings/connection to them?

While "you" are "gone," I'm sure they are missing you, concerned for you.

I doubt it. Seriously.

Thinking about a friend can help me settle down when I'm having trouble breathing.

I don't know if they do. I can't possibly. I don't and I don't mind. It wouldn't make a difference.

I hate it when people who've only been away for hours or a few days ask "Did you miss me?"

Uhm...no...you barely left. I hardly had time to relax enough to notice you were gone. I have way too much on my mind to sit around and pine for people I know are coming back eventually.

How is ruminating over their existence supposed to make me feel better about anything? Unless I'm expecting something pleasant when they get back.

Seriously, I love my daughter who's away at school, but if I spend too much time thinking about her I just start to worry on her behalf and morbid fantasy is not productive. Everybody's fine until I hear otherwise, and I'll not dwell on it.

I feel like that alot ( down and depressed ) only because I think of my "friends" we used to hangout non stop when we where youngsters and then all of a sudden we stopped hanging out, and I think do they have memories of how fun it was back then? What happened to cause this situation, honestly I can't blame myself for I havnt changed much all we did was play video games and eat and just chill and watch T.V but now it's completly different. I lack the friends I once had when I was little and think of them daily and ask why can't it be like the old days

Out of sight, somewhat out of mind. There are a few things to understand about this. Firstly, it isn't out of intentional rudeness or lack of care. Secondly, at least in my case, I find it annoying when people try to 'keep in touch' with me (more about this below). I, and I suspect many others here as well, are kind of stuck in the present moment. We experience each moment vividly, and if anything we don't want to experience at the moment (such as an anxious call from a loved one) arises, we don't deal with it if possible. Thirdly, from my own observations, it seems people with AS think about people much less in our alone time than NTs do, though people are still important to us.

When I was 19, my grandmother tried frantically to contact me. She didn't know where I was or if I was OK, and she hadn't heard from me in months. Now this might seem strange to you, but every time she called where I was staying at, I got really annoyed. I didn't feel like being all emotional with her, especially over the phone. And I don't really enjoy speaking to people that aren't physically present. So I ignored some of her calls, and as she started calling more I realized the situation was becoming compounded (her emotions were building up further), so eventually I took one of her calls to get her to stop calling so much. I guess my behavior hurt her feelings a lot, and she even cried over the phone. Whenever she expressed that I was hurting her feelings, she was only bothering me more, even angering me. She said she didn't understand how I could be so cold, but I thought I was acting normal. What I felt I needed was distance, because to me it doesn't make any sense to talk to someone over the phone unless it's about either an important matter or for making plans. What my grandmother wanted was to be emotional with me, which I'm generally not comfortable with unless I really trust the other person. Trust is a very difficult point for me to reach with someone given how much I've been hurt in the past; it is a level of communication that I share with no one at this time, but even with trusted ones I really prefer to be with them in person rather than over the phone.

They are still in my mind even if I don't have the energy to communicate with them, and I feel bad about possibly hurting them by not being able to communicate.

It's not like I don't care, but I forget about people's existance, in a way. Or rather, the connections to them are tucked away into a corner of my mind and I usually need an external trigger to remember that there was someone. I try to keep this knowledge of the existance of people who are when they are near important to me in my consciousness but it tends to become a burden; I don't know what exactly I should do, so I forget to think about them again. Oddly enough, when I go for long walks I usually end up thinking about my family and friends and want to contact them. But as soon as I arrive home, this urge goes away.

Thank you all so much. Your replies are so helpful to me in understanding my BFF.
I hope others reply as well.