The Childish Aspie: Any answers welcome

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One problem I seem to have is I have is I appear very immature to many NTs. Someone at a nightclub said that to me even though I could have been very drunk at the time. Telling me this is like telling Mr Spock that he is immature and childish. I am sure if you told him that, him will get vex and want to give you some slaps. He and I know we have a logical rational mind compared to these NT humans any day of the week so God be not my witness.

I've been called immature before; I think it is because of my rather basic view of fair/unfair, right/wrong. Oh, and the fact that I can be a bit hyperactive at times.

And someone once said that my movements are reminiscent of those of a little boy; I guess that would be what is termed the 'clumsy, awkward' movements that are described in the DSM-IV TR, heh.

Yup I sometimes get told I'm immature but I think thats because I can be very naive and because, occasionally, I see things in black and white and its usually simple things I view like that. But I hate it when people tell me I'm immature because I know I can be sometimes and don't like having the obvious pointed out. But its in a harmless way and I'm proud of it.

It means you'll remain youthful long into middle age, at which point you'll start being taken for a Wise Elder.

I think that we often mature more slowly. I don't really think I started 'acting' like an adult until I was about 21, whereas the people I knew at school seemed so grown up at 16.

I try to be mature about the things that matter, but "acting" mature is stupid in my book. Plus what is so great about being mature? I think people just don't like to see someone having more fun than they are!

You are speaking my language here, you are theman!! !

You have to grow older, but nobody says you have to grow up!

I've posted elsewhere on here that my emotional age has always seemed to run at about 60-80% of my physical age. For most of my life it wasn't a big problem because I'm intellectually advanced. I never liked hanging around with people my own age (because I have nothing in common with them), but have always enjoyed the company of people who are either much younger or much older than myself because I can connect to them either emotionally or intellectually.

The only time it's ever been an issue is when I run into age-limitations. For example, I am planning a trip and saw a package that offered "adventure touring" with things like hang-gliding, surfing, etc. It seemed perfect until the travel agent said "18 to 35 only". I could see the travel agency warning couch potatoes that the tour is too active for them, or warning people over 35 that the group might be too immature for their tastes, but neither of those apply to me. The only justification I can see for it is so that the 18-year-olds can go wild without having an older person around who would subconsciously remind them that their parents wouldn't approve of their behavior. As if *I* care. Oh well.

Yeah, I get that. It's really because people confuse "naive" with "not cynical."

If I finding someone my age, I feeling like a kid or if I find someone younger, they are not interested because I am too old for them. I feel I have no choice but to give a dilution of maturity a try

NTs at my workplace seem to have lots of fun, it is a noisy office, but I guess they fun in a kind of mature way. I just don’t know the difference.

It is strange that other Aspies see thing in black-and-white, I thought this was a trait of NT religion fundamentalists. I love to analyze things a lot including the pros and cons of what appears to be apparent negative human example:

One of my neighbours said that I will never be better then him or something on that lines, assuming money. Instead of arguing with him for putting me down or excepting it like what most NT would do, I analyze it and talk to him about what I analyzed.
1. Could this be true or false
2. 2. Does he have something to gain from making me believe it?
3. Do I have something to gain from believing it?
4. Is all the above all true.

I woulldn't put much stock into what your neighbor says, he sounds reallly arrogant for saying that. I can't arrogant people!!


As far as being immature. I see alot more immaturity amongst the NTs my age rather vice versa. Just another way to insult our behavior because it makes them uncomfortable, I suppose.e

No not always, most NTs in this country do not know anything about Aspergers syndrome; they just see an immature NT.

The point I was trying to make about my neighbour is, instead of trying to win an argument for the sake if it or to make friends with the guy. I analyse the situation and ask questions. I only got lippy when he tells me something that I know is illogical. I seldom make augments about morality and ethics.

I tend to view most things in black-and-white - it's only after I have the grey areas pointed out that I see them. Ususally. I think I'm quite mature when it comes to some things, but others I'm naive. And I can be immature - act really childishly and run around without a care but only when I'm hyper. Usually!

I often get called immature by my family, usually because I can be quite sensitive to what they say to me (I don't care if they say they're kidding, it certainly doesn't seem that way to me!). I can also be quite naive at times, and if I really want to do something or check something out, I'll do it no matter where I am and who else is there to see me. (I won't do anything inappropriate, just stuff like wanting to see what something feels like or sounds like if I tap it, or seeing how something would look if arranged into a certain shape or pattern.)

Think for a second what 'maturity' is. Its turning into the kind of man/woman that NTs expect you to be. I've no desire to conform to what they want so I don't give a s**t if they call me immature.

Growing up, I was constantly told by my parents that I was 4 years behind in social development. Funny how they put a number on it. They also used the 'naive' label a lot.

Occasionally my peer group saw me as 'immature', but I wasn't considered so much immature as different.

Having made more friends over the past few years, they tend to be older than me. I can see it's easier for us to get on with people who are older or younger. Societal expectations expect us to be integrated into a peer group, our own exact age, but usually we can't.