Uh... how do I respond to "I love you" when I don'

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Logical aspie that I am, I want to say "Okay" or something like that, just a simple acknowledgment, but I know through the research I've done on NTs that they probably want to hear "I love you" back even when I really don't.

Anyone been here before?

That's awkard for anyone. I suggest just telling this person nicely that you don't feel the same way.

We're dating, though, so I get that the assumption is that I ought to feel that way.
Him: I love you.
Me: *silence*

Is probably how it will be.

Again, if you don't feel the same way, tell him.

Oh my. Very awkward. Well, not all dating situations lead to falling in love. In fact, probably most don't. Don't tell him you love him when you don't or it will get even more awkward. Be honest that you like him but don't love him (I'm assuming you like him or you wouldn't be dating). This should lead to a discussion between the two of you about what you both want out of this dating relationship. So you need to spend some time before you next see him thinking long and hard about why you are dating him. Because he will ask. And he deserves to know.

If you honestly really like him and enjoy spending time with him, he may be ok with the disparity in your feelings. Perhaps he'll hope you'll fall in love with him eventually. You can't control who you fall in love with and dating does not inherently lead all people to fall in love with each other. You may wind up breaking up if he finds the disparity of feelings too painful. Or not. But you will need to think about why you are dating him so that you can honestly tell him. There must be a reason even if it isn't love.

Well, there's always the Han Solo response:

Leia: I love you.
Han: I know.

Not recommended, but at least there's a bit of humor to it, if the other person is familiar with Star Wars.

I guess that would at least break up an awkward silence.

Well, do you LIKE him at least? If so, you can respond with something like "I like being with you," or "You make me happy," or something. You shouldn't say 'I love you' when you don't, but acknowledging that he is important to you can take you a long way.

Yes, I like him. I just doubt that I can ever love anyone.

What exactly is your definition of love? And why don't you think you can't ever love someone?

"NTs" contrary to popular belief on this board do not want you to lie about every damned thing. Especially not something that big. If you do not feel the same then you have to tell him. It could mean the end of the relationship, and you need to brace yourself for that (Or not if you do not feel you'll be broken hearted about it...)

You could tell him that you feel it is too soon for you, or you can tell him that you are not sure you really understand the emotion well enough to commit to saying it... But do not lie.

I usually just don't say anything.

Or say "Thats a very kind thing to say"

I'm not going to say I love someone if I dont

I don't understand why this is hard. I wouldn't want anyone to lie to me. I am fairly certain I said I love you to my aspie husband first, we'd been dating 6 or 8 months. I believe he said "I am starting to care very much for you too." I thought it was a nice response.

The thing about telling someone you love him is: It shouldn't demand reciprocation. I mean, when my Mom says it, I say "love you too mom" after decades of practice there. But in a NEW situation? Uh... no. It's said because you feel it, not to demand reply.

I will say - if you think you are incapable of ever loving someone, you should tell him.

I just don't answer back. Most people use the word love just meaning they like you anyways.

My Aspie guy says he loves me. I wonder if he really means it. Maybe he just says it cuz he thinks it's what I want to hear. I always tell him that "love" is an action, not words, and actions are what I pay attention to.

Hmmm....do you think Aspies believe NTs want Aspies to lie to them? Or are you talking about appropriating NT behavior? Just curious...

OP, if you truly don't believe you're capable of love, I think you need to discuss that honestly with your bf. He obviously is capable of love, and he probably expects that if you don't reciprocate his feelings right now, you certainly may some day. If you're unable, however, he needs to be aware of that. He deserves the right to figure out if he wants to continue a relationship with a woman who may never love him. Whatever he decides to do, it should be an informed decision. Good luck.